I need help. I’m utterly distraught and upset with my sons school, does anyone have any advice?

[mummytorands]

So I’ve been awake all night with keeping my 8 year old as comfortable as possible and yesterday’s events and I wanted to go to the school today and complain about how they handled things but I think I’m going to write to the chair of governors instead so I want to box clever.

So, I leave work yesterday (I work 10 minutes from the school by car) at 2:45 my children are usually let out at 3:10-3:20. School call at 2:50 telling me my son (8) has had a fall during playtime she explained he hurt his arm, elbow hip and knee. He was grazed seen by first aid but very upset and could I get him early of course I said yes I’ll be 5 minutes. Asked then as it’s unusual for him to be as upset as she was saying as he’s quite a tough cookie has he done any damage. No she said first aid moved his arm but seems ok but he’s very upset and think it’s best you came early and that she would get my daughter for me too (5). I pull up to school a TA is bringing them both out and it was quite evident to me we needed to get to hospital. I could clearly see my son was in pain, he was holding his arm, his wrist and hand were limp. I was given no accident form but didn’t think about that until later as my main concern was to get him medical attention. I called minor injuries they said they had a 3 hour wait and they wouldn’t be able to xray today so off to a&e I went which was heaving but we were dealt with pretty swiftly. Xray and he’s broken both radius and ulna and one of the fractures is going into the growth plate. I won’t know the full extent until we see the fracture clinic in 24 hours however we were sent home in a plaster cast and sling and I’ve kept him comfortable with calpol alternating nurofen. My plan is to go into school tomorrow asking for the accident book copy but I want to see it and not have it done and back dated. I will tell them he won’t be in for the next couple of days until I know more but I’m not disclosing the damage he’s done until I know for definite.

I am furious. He very clearly to me had broken his arm the moment I seen him. She played it down to me on the phone and his arm had been manipulated and it should not have been. They did not contact me fast enough and no accident from was given. Does anyone have advice? I want to complain because I’m just so unhappy about the handling and I don’t want it to happen again but I want the first aid training to be looked into also. My poor boy.

I agree.
You should see what was written in the accident book too-for information. Not to assign blame.

This could have definitely been handled better. Take another 24 hours and write an email.

As a nurse I would be questioning two things

Who assessed him and the procedure they followed? They are not doctors but they should know the basics of how to recognise a serious injury and not manipulate it.

The time it took for them to call you. Did it happen at lunch time? So that's at least 90minutes before you were aware? I'd question why the delay.

What should be achieved is the school learning from their mistake, and being better able to recognize when a child needs to be checked by A&E?

Are you seriously arguing the school should not learn when A&E is needed but it’s better instead that ‘no-one should risk losing their job?’

(No-one will lose their job btw).

Not anymore. Haven’t for a long time, can do more harm than good.

First aid these days simply returns to airway, breathing, circulation. Water for burns, pressure for heavy bleeding, checking airways, chest compressions and use of a defib.

it’s been very much simplified, but easier for more people to learn.

Things are definitely different nowadays! Imagine if a teacher had driven the injured child to hospital; any damage the child suffered in the fall could have been blamed on the teacher moving him. And, as it was a primary school, it could have been difficult to supervise the rest of the pupils with one teacher missing.

The thing is though kids are falling all the time and 99 times out of 100 it is minor and nothing so if you think the school should have called straight away then you need also to be prepared to be called out of work numerous times each and every week

It’s normal to downplay it a bit on the phone to keep the parent calm and prevent them flooring it and having an accident on the way which, considering how much this parent is overreacting, seems reasonable.

What time was playtime? How long was it before they called you? If they called you immediately that's less bad, if it was some time then I would also complain.

What are you hoping to achieve with these dramatics? Are you planning to sue?

The first pots is perfect.
Be angry if you want. I’m not sure why you’re angry though, upset, worried maybe. This is an accident. A nasty one maybe but it could have been a lot worse than a broken arm. People have accidents every day. It’s not anyone’s fault, there is no one to be angry at.
And school did everything right. They have no medical training. And you didn’t get an accident form because you were spoken to, in person and saw your child yourself.

I work in a school, and it's not always obvious when a child has broken a bone. Some children will hop round on one leg all day and act as if in mortal agony over a slight graze to the knee and some children will be able to keep writing with a broken wrist all day (and this is from experience).

If a child falls and hurts an arm or wrist the general analysis is, if they can move it it's probably not broken, which of course isn't a foolproof test but will explain why your DS was probably asked to see if he could move his arm. I think the school have done all they can in calling you to pick him up early when he continued to be in pain.

I'm sorry your son has had an accident but I dont think the school has done anything wrong. The term 'manipulation' is very easily misinterpreted. In medical terms it would imply holding the fracture site, applying traction and moving the bones back into position which i'm pretty sure the school would not have done! Alternative, I wonder if they 'manipulated' the arm by asking your son to flex his elbow so the arm could rest in a protected position, a perfectly reasonable response. Same word - completely different connotations.

Schools don't call an ambulance for a broken arm- it's not a danger to life!

What are you talking about? They phoned his mother and she took him to A&E. It isn’t in the school’s remit to take a child themselves and in no way would it have been appropriate for an ambulance to be called, what what should they have done differently @Greycatblueeyes

Agree.

My DD broke her arm last September two weeks into starting reception.

The classroom assistant was a first aider, and knew it was broken, put it into a sling, then advised me to go to hospital. I actually felt guilty as I dragged my DD round Sainsbury's to get some food for what might be a long wait in A&E, rather than take her straight away (silly and quite selfish, I know).

My point is, I was upset seeing my DD in pain, but the school was totally reasonable with the care and advice I was given. At no point could that have been improved. They couldn't take her to hospital themselves.

I think the same probably applies to your situation. Kindly, OP, the school probably did their very best for your DS. I'm very sorry to hear he had an awful accident 😞

If you want to make a complaint, follow the complaint’s policy.

What has your DC said about the incident?

I’m not sure what an accident form is going to achieve. Yes, they should have done it. But, if they didn’t, all they can do it backdate it and do some training with some staff re the importance of doing one ASAP. My sister had her arm broken in primary school when another child fell on it when they were playing a game in the playground. No ambulances were called although my mum said that the headteacher was almost in tears because he felt so bad about it 😢 😢 (He was only young and recently promoted- lovely guy who stayed for 35 years!)

From what you've written it sounds like he wasn't asked to see if he could move his arm, the first aider actually moved it around themselves, is that right? And when you asked if she thought he'd done any damage she said no. TBH it sounds like they haven't got a clue but what can you do? I think just telling them it's actually broken in 3 places will make your point.

But if playtime ended at 2.30 and she was called at 2.45 that’s as straightaway as you can get. It’s a big assumption that she wasn’t called straightaway based on the info given.

Agree with most previous responses. As someone who works in a school and has the basic first aid training it's upsetting to think of something like this happened I'd be in the firing line for this kind of response. Though, as a parent this is a really upsetting, emotional event and it's awful seeing your child in pain. I wonder if as things calm down you'll see it a bit differently.

I can't see what I'd have done differently. I'm not sure I would have suggested hospital on the phone as that would have caused panic and I would have just needed you there asap. Manipulating... If you mean check for a range of movement, then I'd have done that. I wouldn't have done it TO him - do you mean they forcefully moved his arm for him?

Accident forms are done online in most schools now. I can absolutely imagine I'd have spent every moment between the accident and him leaving sitting and comforting him, not whipping out the laptop! But it would have been the first thing I'd have done when you left. Have you had any notification of this?

A family member sat in school all afternoon with a broken collarbone- a woo teacher had determined she was fine using unconventional means and told her to stop moaning 🙄. Think my mum eye rolled but that was it. The 80s were different times!

Children will take their cues from adults as well. A broken arm is pretty common in childhood but if the OP is ranting and raving and “distraught” then the OP’s child will remember it as a disastrous, terrifying event.

He will likely have other injuries which may include fractures and how the OP is carrying on will set the tone for his responses later.

The school’s response was fine, he didn’t need an ambulance, he did need to have it xrayed which the OP’s mother did.

A calm, pragmatic response is the best approach, not making the OP’s son feel as though what happened was catastrophic

Nor should they - or anyone else for that matter!

They should not have minimized it. They clearly minimized the accident, told OP there was nothing to worry about he’s ’just a bit upset’. They told her he needs to go home as he’s ’a bit upset’ rather than because his injury was a sufficient cause for concern and needed to be seen by a medical professional.

They should have spotted there was cause for concern ( if OP saw it straight away, so should the school) and clearly told OP the child needed to go to A&E. That is how my council run nursery handled it when my son had an accident.

A different Mother may have followed the school’s’ lead and just taken the poor boy home.

The school needs to learn from this.

I’m genuinely gob smacked posters can’t see this!