I need help. I’m utterly distraught and upset with my sons school, does anyone have any advice?

[mummytorands]

So I’ve been awake all night with keeping my 8 year old as comfortable as possible and yesterday’s events and I wanted to go to the school today and complain about how they handled things but I think I’m going to write to the chair of governors instead so I want to box clever.

So, I leave work yesterday (I work 10 minutes from the school by car) at 2:45 my children are usually let out at 3:10-3:20. School call at 2:50 telling me my son (8) has had a fall during playtime she explained he hurt his arm, elbow hip and knee. He was grazed seen by first aid but very upset and could I get him early of course I said yes I’ll be 5 minutes. Asked then as it’s unusual for him to be as upset as she was saying as he’s quite a tough cookie has he done any damage. No she said first aid moved his arm but seems ok but he’s very upset and think it’s best you came early and that she would get my daughter for me too (5). I pull up to school a TA is bringing them both out and it was quite evident to me we needed to get to hospital. I could clearly see my son was in pain, he was holding his arm, his wrist and hand were limp. I was given no accident form but didn’t think about that until later as my main concern was to get him medical attention. I called minor injuries they said they had a 3 hour wait and they wouldn’t be able to xray today so off to a&e I went which was heaving but we were dealt with pretty swiftly. Xray and he’s broken both radius and ulna and one of the fractures is going into the growth plate. I won’t know the full extent until we see the fracture clinic in 24 hours however we were sent home in a plaster cast and sling and I’ve kept him comfortable with calpol alternating nurofen. My plan is to go into school tomorrow asking for the accident book copy but I want to see it and not have it done and back dated. I will tell them he won’t be in for the next couple of days until I know more but I’m not disclosing the damage he’s done until I know for definite.

I am furious. He very clearly to me had broken his arm the moment I seen him. She played it down to me on the phone and his arm had been manipulated and it should not have been. They did not contact me fast enough and no accident from was given. Does anyone have advice? I want to complain because I’m just so unhappy about the handling and I don’t want it to happen again but I want the first aid training to be looked into also. My poor boy.

They are not doctors. They rang you, informed you and asked you to pick your child up early, presumably so you could take him to hospital if he needed it. They cannot take him to hospital. You are upset but I think you are directing your anger in the wrong place here.

I really dont see what else they could have done, you are the parent you take your child to hospital because they contacted you that is it

Do you not think that a child with a clear limp wrist and evidently in a lot of pain should not have been manipulated? Where do you think I should direct my anger to?

They could have not done first aid on what was apparently an obviously badly broken arm.

Your child had an accident - sure be angry if you think it will do any good you really dont need our permission

i agree.

I think you should take a breath and maybe another 24 hours before you do anything. It must have been a very upsetting afternoon seeing your son in that much pain and knowing that he is going to need ongoing treatment. But that doesn’t mean anyone did anything wrong. A school first aider has a limited skill set. Everything is not always immediately obvious. They will see a lot of very upset children holding an arm painfully. Many of those will improve over the next half an hour with some soothing and simple first aid. Your son didn’t and they did the right thing to call you. Simply moving his arm to see how much it hurt would not have done anything significant to the fracture (it really won’t).
Be upset he had such a painful experience. Don’t find someone to blame.

I think you are over reacting - they did exactly the right thing by calling you - they do not have an x ray machine and whilst it may be obvious to you by the time you arrived, it may not have been obvious when he did it (or it may have been - that’s why they called you to get it checked out). When you say ‘manipulated’ I expect you mean checked it for range of movement as I expect they will have been trying to ascertain what the injury was as would be expected in basic first aid.

I hope your son is not in too much pain. I do think you are overreacting - accidents happen. You talk about ‘manipulating’ the arm - of course they got him to move it, that’s what you do to check the extent of the injury. First aiders are just that, trained to give some aid but with broken / injured bones without an x-ray and medical intervention there is little they can do.

I don't think you can "direct" your anger at anyone.

It's fine to be angry if that is what you feel.

But no one has done anything bad to you or your son. It was an accident.

It's stressful enough having a child in pain and going to A&E and then learning to deal with the broken limb for the next few weeks. Don't make it worse for yourself by raging at the school on top of that.

Wishing your little boy a speedy recovery.

They did all they could for your son. He had an accident, they rang you, you took him to hospital. Any first aider would assess movement in an injury, then keep it stable. All you can do is advise your boy to take more care in future. I hope he's not in too much pain and gets better soon.

I really hope he feels better soon. It can't be nice for either of you.

It sounds like the school informed you straight after the accident had happened? And you collected him very quickly? I don't know what else that the school could have done if that's the case.

With regards to the missing incident form, is it possible they were concentrating on helping your son rather then sorting out the paperwork?

You can be worried and upset but there really isn't anyone to be angry with.

Sorry but it sounds like the school called you early and told you to come. I don’t think there’s anything wrong here.

I also wouldn’t get too angry about not being handed an accident form when you arrived, it probably means they were concentrating on looking after your son when he was there rather than filling out a piece of paper, I actually think it would have been worse if they prioritised the form filling. Should still get an accident form but just not at the time

I'm surprised at the previous responses. I would also have been angry and upset. The school has not behaved appropriately here.

Crikey what an overreaction. My daughter did the same thing around a month ago. School rang me. I collected her and took her to a&e. She ended up needing surgery to pin her arm. Not once did I even consider being angry at the school. Accidents happen especially with kids and play time. You need to chill out

I agree, you need to take a breath first 48hrs and think about what you want to achieve here.

Your DS seems to have had an accident. That doesn’t seem to be the schools fault. When they ascertained it seemed to be more serious than the usual crying over not much kids carry on with, they called you for an early pick up. It’s then up to you whether to get him checked over by a professional, and you ascertained he needed this. Given he was ambulatory, the school seemed to do the correct thing by handing over to you to make decisions. What did you want, school to organise him being helicoptered off to a trauma unit before you arrived?

I say this as a parent who had kids break limbs at school (every kid I think had at least one, from simple through to requiring surgery). Not really sure what you are wanting here? I also say this as someone who worked A&E for years, on two occasions I took a kid home, thought, hmmmm, not sure, maybe, maybe not, and then the next day clarified my opinion to a ‘yes’ on symptoms still present, and then carted them off to be dealt with. If that’s me with decades of experience under the belt, how would I expect a school to get anything right in this area? I did have one though with a kid with a bad break who was sent home at home time, couldn’t walk so was carried by peers (teenagers). When I got home, I took one glance and knew it was broken and where. I absolutely did not expect the school to diagnose that though, but did find it odd they would send a kid home who couldn’t walk and had to be carried so I did point that out and asked for a head wobble from the person concerned.

Well the accident book isn't going to tell you he had a fractured ulna and radius if that's what you're hoping for. The school has first aiders, not a team of medics and an X ray machine!

Your son had a fall, was dealt with by the first aider, they called you to pick him up which was absolutely the correct thing to do. They can't take him to hospital, that's your role as a parent. Unless it was a dire emergency like a child collapsing or choking they aren't going to call 999. This is a classic case where as the parent, you go to A&E, I did with one of my dc when they fell while playing and it turned out to be a fracture.

Of course it's upsetting for your son but what on earth else could the school have done? They called you, you got there in minutes, you took him to hospital. Don't look for someone to blame just because you're upset your child had an injury

I suppose the important question is at what time did he injure himself and how long did they leave it before contacting you?

What should they have done differently?

I don't think there is anything to be angry about. What else could they do?

You were upset and wanted to blame someone to help you process your feelings. Humans do this all the time. I do it especially with my husband! 😉 Sometimes things happen and it’s no one’s fault. Be glad it wasn’t his head. The teachers did the right thing, Hope he (& you) feels better soon.

Exactly the same happened to me they had my wrong number.Eventually he saw me parked and they walked him across to me ( I'd been sitting parked at the back of the school for 20 minutes) I'm running saying "what the heck is going on?" He had his hand resting on a cushion,and they said because he wasn't crying they didnt call an ambulance but called me ( wrong number)
I took him straight to hospital and broken wrist.
Most annoying thing was they had my husbands number as well but didn't bother ringing it. 3 hours from lunch time he was sitting on the ground with a broken wrist.

Ok what could have been done differently?