I need help. I’m utterly distraught and upset with my sons school, does anyone have any advice?

[mummytorands]

So I’ve been awake all night with keeping my 8 year old as comfortable as possible and yesterday’s events and I wanted to go to the school today and complain about how they handled things but I think I’m going to write to the chair of governors instead so I want to box clever.

So, I leave work yesterday (I work 10 minutes from the school by car) at 2:45 my children are usually let out at 3:10-3:20. School call at 2:50 telling me my son (8) has had a fall during playtime she explained he hurt his arm, elbow hip and knee. He was grazed seen by first aid but very upset and could I get him early of course I said yes I’ll be 5 minutes. Asked then as it’s unusual for him to be as upset as she was saying as he’s quite a tough cookie has he done any damage. No she said first aid moved his arm but seems ok but he’s very upset and think it’s best you came early and that she would get my daughter for me too (5). I pull up to school a TA is bringing them both out and it was quite evident to me we needed to get to hospital. I could clearly see my son was in pain, he was holding his arm, his wrist and hand were limp. I was given no accident form but didn’t think about that until later as my main concern was to get him medical attention. I called minor injuries they said they had a 3 hour wait and they wouldn’t be able to xray today so off to a&e I went which was heaving but we were dealt with pretty swiftly. Xray and he’s broken both radius and ulna and one of the fractures is going into the growth plate. I won’t know the full extent until we see the fracture clinic in 24 hours however we were sent home in a plaster cast and sling and I’ve kept him comfortable with calpol alternating nurofen. My plan is to go into school tomorrow asking for the accident book copy but I want to see it and not have it done and back dated. I will tell them he won’t be in for the next couple of days until I know more but I’m not disclosing the damage he’s done until I know for definite.

I am furious. He very clearly to me had broken his arm the moment I seen him. She played it down to me on the phone and his arm had been manipulated and it should not have been. They did not contact me fast enough and no accident from was given. Does anyone have advice? I want to complain because I’m just so unhappy about the handling and I don’t want it to happen again but I want the first aid training to be looked into also. My poor boy.

Please tell the school about the hospital visit fully first thing this morning. It's reportable via RIDDOR when a child has to get medical attention and they will need to do it within 48 hours. As part of this process, the school reviews what happened and where (in case there is a health and safety issue or they need to put something in place in terms of rules or supervision), who treated him and what they did. You keeping it to yourself to 'box clever' is not going to help here. If his accident could have been avoided in any way they need to do something now, not in a few days.

But they did get hold of the mom. So they’re was no need to call an ambulance. And it was so close to home time they knew somebody would be on the way to get him. So there was no need to call an ambulance. It would have been many hours wait for an ambulance. Many many hours. Utterly pointless.

OP I hope you’ve had some sleep because your reaction is a bit off kilter here. I know it’s distressing when they have a nasty accident like this but the school followed all protocols. Your anger is misplaced.

Take a breath, I know it's awful, both my sons have had fractures at school, and it's horrible in the moment. But it was still an accident, and the school aren't medics.

I'm a nurse, an ambulance would have been completely in appropriate, it was an upper limb. These things happen.

Why would anyone call an ambulance for a broken wrist?

Seeing your child in pain is deeply upsetting, obviously......but it's not the schools fault, accidents happen.
You're overreacting and I hope you feel more calm soon and that your son is not in pain today.

I would be annoyed that they got him to move it and didn't provide an accident form. I would be asking for the accident book.

I'm not sure I would be angry at them directly as I don't think it will aid the situation. But it's completely normal and instinctual to feel upset when your child is hurt. Try to get the facts and move on I would say.

Hope your son is OK 💛

If it was actually held and moved about by the first aider I understand why OP is upset. If they asked him to try to move it himself then I'd see that as a standard first aid response.

I’m sorry about your son, OP.

Putting myself in the OPs position, I would have hoped the school had kept him still and comfortable until I arrived, then discussed with me what happened and what to do next - ie, advise hospital if both parent and teacher thought it was necessary. If it was clear to that OP he needed hospital, then surely the school ar least suspected it too? That was the Op and her son’s distress would have felt at least acknowledged.

No change in the outcome - an ambulance was never necessary and he has still broken his arm - but a degree of care would have been shown.

No they shouldn't have called an ambulance!

I don't think the school necessarily did anything wrong and nor do I think they deserve your anger. Focus on your son - it's scary when our children get hurt but that doesn't mean anyone is at fault.

It must be upsetting but I don’t think the school are in the wrong here. Hope he feels better soon.

Morning hope your son managed to get some sleep.

please do tell the school that he broken bones as that is a RDDOR reportable accident. It needs to be reported in a certain amount of time and you can ask for the log number.

As a school first aider they can have as little as a days training and be called first aid trained. It’s really hard being a school first aider, kids expect you to be like a nurse. Some are total drama queens, some just want to go home, some parents have sent in knowingly sick as they don’t want to take a day of work, few are actually injured needing first aid.

phoning home and asking a parent to come in is often worse that trying to deal with an injury. Can’t they just walk home, no one can come for an hour or two as there in London, few say they are coming straight away without a grumble.

I once had an ambulance called for a seizure in a science lab, over an hours waiting - we are 15mins from the hospital. Schools don’t have access to speedy ambulances. X-ray machines, drugs etc…..

What I find a bit concerning is that there seems to have been some length of time between the accident and the OP collecting him, as they only rang her about half an hour before school finished for the day.

With that said, I don’t think it needs formal complaints or anything but it also isnt ‘the school did nothing wrong at all.’

It's so difficult to diagnose these things. My son, 12 at the time came off his bike whilst staying overnight with my Mum. She said he seemed fine. I thought he looked fine. Sent him to school the next day.
They called to say they think he should be seen in A&E as was complaining of pain. Omg they kept him in overnight to do surgery the next day to fix both radius and ulna clear breaks. He was in plaster up to his elbow for, I don't know 6 or 8 weeks.
The guilt is still with me and my mum. He's 28 a father himself now.
It will never leave me, I know it will never leave mum.
These teachers aren't doctors, or surgeons, they'll be feeling awful too. It's natural to want to appropriate blame, but they did the right thing and contacted you, they're not going to start trying to manipulate his arm to see if it moves okay then make a decision.

It was awful, but easily fixed in surgery. I cried watching him go under and went back to waiting area in tears. He woke up a grumpy git from anaesthetic, but didn't want to leave children's ward when discharged later same day.

I completely understand, but blaming the school won't help anything.

The paperwork doesn’t change anything. They do it all the time and there is no reason to think they haven’t. I think it was much better he went to hospital with you than a teacher who finished work shortly after the accident. Having strangers buzzing around him would have been even more distressing without his Mum there.

And this is why so many school staff are leaving.

I'm so sorry your son was hurt - hope he is ok today and that he recovers quickly.

Going in all guns blazing isn't going to do anything constructive. When you are feeling calmer, ask to see the accident book so you know what happened, find out how long it took for them to phone you, and then thankthe staff for dealing with the accident. Unless they've let him sit there all day in pain, I don't really see what else they could have done. At our primary school, protocol was 'sit in the school office with a piece of wet blue paper towel on your arm/knee/nose etc until your parents arrive"....!

I have four children, so have had the phone calls for various levels of severity of injuries over the years. It is scary, and the 'your son has had a head injury playing rugby' was probably the scariest...but at no point did I think of blaming the school.

School staff are not trained beyond basic first aid. They tried to keep him calm, called you, and you got him the medical treatment he needed.

Anger is a secondary emotion. You're just stressed / worried primarily, that is ok.

It's only reportable if it happened due to something relating to the work OK the school. If he tripped playing tight in the playground etc it wouldn't be.

I think a lot of people underestimate how many children crying and holding their arm a school first aider will see in a day, most of which need a rest, some sympathy and an ice pack possibly.

Nurse here. You’re massively over reacting. They hardly yanked him up from the floor with a broken spine. I have no idea what you mean by they ‘manipulated’ his arm. I can’t imagine anyone tried resetting his break? There isn’t a button big enough for how unreasonable you’re being. No one working at the school is a health professional and the extent of their remit in this situation is comforting your son and ringing you to collect him. I hope your son is feeling better soon

Not sure why you want to see the accident book. You know it's happened and your son can tell you how. I don't think the school have been negligent.

I agree, they should have realised it was probably broken and at the very least not moved it around potentially doing more damage.

Any of us would be upset if our child is hurt that’s only natural; but can you explain exactly what you think the school should have done?
School first aiders get two days training followed by a one day yearly update they are not fully trained paramedics.

'Who do I direct my anger to?'

The answer is, 'nobody'. You are shocked because your child was hurt. This is a no-blame situation.

I've worked in schools for 20 years. I firmly believe that a significant contributor to the current MH crisis is that children aren't allowed to safely explore their limits, perhaps occasionally 'coming a cropper' (not in any major way). (Btw certainly not advocating for neglectful parenting of the past!)

When they do hurt themselves (obvs not in a life-threatening way), parents model shock, hurt, blame and outrage, which worries the children even further.

Your DS broke his arm. School called you. It got fixed. He might even quite enjoy everyone signing his cast etc.

You're upset now and, quite rightly, worried about your son. Concentrate on him for now. The school did what they could and so did you. I hope he recovers soon - children are quite resilient.