Daughter will be 4.8 months when starting school

[ChelsieBubbles]

Unsure if I should defer my daughter from starting school in August. She will be 4.8 when starting. She has some issues emotionally (doesn't know she's being bad in the moment but after understands she was wrong) intelligence wise i think shes ready but emotionally im not sure if we do defer she will be 5.8 starting next year. Looking for some advice if we should defer or not as can't make our mind up.

Presumably not summer born ?

4 and 8 months?
You won’t be able to defer her unless there is a reason separate to her age.

That's closer to the older end of the school year surely? Or does 4.8 not mean 4 years 8 months?

DS was years and 2 weeks old when he started.

She was born in December 2020. I should also say we are in Scotland so have the option of deferring till 2026

The next 6 months she will develop hugely. I would try to avoid deferring unless there’s SEN personally. I have premature twins who started school 3 days after their 4th birthday and it was the right choice for them. They are now 13. They were still napping after school before dinner for the first term.

in your situation, it may be okay initially but it’s as they get older the issues begin as she’d be so much older than the rest of her peers.

Unless you are Scotland as you refer to starting in September. I think there they are usually 4.5 so she would be one of the younger ones.

But based on what you’ve said I don’t think you need to defer. 4 year olds are impulsive an emotional

Are you in Scotland? If so and you have an absolute right to defer then I think it's a no brainier. A year can make an enormous difference in terms of emotional development and school readiness at this age. It's an extra year of childhood. An extra year of play before getting sucked into the treadmill of formal schooling. And it's not all about readiness for P1.
Kids will grow up with their peer group, and so when the time comes that classmates are getting smartphones, when they start dating, when they start to get into things like drinking alcohol she will be that bit older and more ready to cope with these things. If you defer she will be a year older and more mature when sitting exams in the future. She will leave for uni as an 18 year old legal adult rather than a 17 year old legal child.

We start school at a younger age than most of the world. The most successful school systems in the world have a school start age of 7, and the evidence does not support any benefit of starting younger.
I'll definitely be deferring my October birthday daughter.

Thats not young to start school.
Just turned 4 is young

Im not in Scotland so can’t comment how deferring at the age is dealt with I’m afraid.

@ChelsieBubbles maybe post in scotsnet as they might have more tailored answers. It used to be that only really January and February birthdays could realistically defer but now it's open to more children

What does nursery say? Do they agree she would benefit from another year of nursery rather than school?

It's just the emotional side of things but she's always been an emotional wee girl. Jusy recently started to work out how she's feeling and what makes her angry but I still get phone calls from the nursery saying she's hit someone or thrown something. She's our only child and don't really have anyone around the same age to work out if it's just a natural thing or if it's just her.

In Scotland children start school at a minimum age of 4½ years. The cutoff is the end of February for an August start.

My child was born at the very end of august and she’s done great throughout school.

I deferred both my DSs. They would have been 4y 9m but instead were almost 6. Being little bit older becomes really noticeable at high school - so much better having that extra maturity when doing exams and making good choices for themselves.

The nursery and the school are just saying they are advising most parents given the choice they should defer. They aren't giving a straight answer as to if she's ready or not. They are saying it's our decision which isn't really helping us to decide

What downsides would there be from deferring? Would she get another year of funded nursery?

In Scotland it is very common for children of that age to defer, often due to emotional maturity and social skills.

You never hear someone saying that they regret deferring their child, but mnay that say they wished thery had. Deferring also means that if they wish to go yo university after sixth year then thye will already be 18, if you don't defer they will only be 17.

Seek advise from the school if you are unsure.

Good luck with your decision.

The school and nursery aren't giving us a straight answer as to if she's ready they are just saying it's our decision. Which is a hard one to make

I wouldn’t defer a child born in December personally. I was one of the oldest in my year in school because of when my birthday is and I was fed up and couldn’t wait to leave by the time I was in my last year of high school. I was an 18 year old adult and I was fed up of being treated like a kid, needing a note from my parents if I didn’t do pe and the likes. Fuck that

Make the one you want to make. As i said earlier I have never heard of anyone regret deferring. In Scotland deferring is automatic if you want it so many 4 year olds with birthdays at the end of the year, and in January and February do defer now.In some schools most defer.

How on earth can you judge whether your (I assume typically developing) child is not emotionally ready for reception? All she needs to be able to do is follow basic instructions, sit in an allocated place for periods of time and have a degree of joint attention. That is all they need at this age. To be fair as well she’ll be 5 in I assume Jan / Feb. So she’s slap bang in the middle for turning 5 within her year group. Emotional development is all over the place at that age, but she’ll get the hang of being at school and know what’s expected of her by the end of the academic year. You’d be doing her a disservice to try and defer her when all her peers will be in the year above. You can only defer nowadays if there is a significant cause ie SEN or obvious additional needs. My child has SEN and give that they are September born I won’t be deferring them, but I absolutely could if they were summer born.

So she'll be one of the older ones. My dd started at four years one month. That is an age to consider deferring, not four and eight months!

I’ve not read your full thread, sorry. But my daughter was 4 years old end of August, and started school this September at 4 years one month and she seemed so small at first but she’s now second to top of her class and thriving so I really do think we underestimate them.
Edit as I realised she was 4 years old and 5 days when she started! Blimey 😦

We have the option to defer as we are in Scotland. Shes intelligent enough but emotionally we are not sure. Still occasionally throws things and has hit another wee boy in the nursery over something as simple as he had a bigger bit of play dough than her.

That’s so normal at that age though. As long as she’s able to imitate modelled behaviour and follow basic social routines she’ll be fine. That is a major flaw in Scotland’s education system, in my opinion.

Depending on where you live, a lot of parents choose to defer their kids. Given what you’ve said about her emotional regulation I’d defer her.