Daughter will be 4.8 months when starting school

[ChelsieBubbles]

Unsure if I should defer my daughter from starting school in August. She will be 4.8 when starting. She has some issues emotionally (doesn't know she's being bad in the moment but after understands she was wrong) intelligence wise i think shes ready but emotionally im not sure if we do defer she will be 5.8 starting next year. Looking for some advice if we should defer or not as can't make our mind up.

Yes, absolutely defer.

This is one regard in which I think the Scottish system is better than the English system.

4 is still so young. Defer if you can.

My daughter was also born Dec 2020 and I am not deferring. Just putting the alternative decision out there as most people will tell you to defer. Go with your gut.

What's wrong with going to uni at 17? A large percentage of my school year were December, January and February birthdays. Didn't stop any of us going to uni at 17. 4 of them had PhDs at 25.

Deferring a December born child will make them a full year older than some of their classmates. Going in August 25 she will be at most 10 months younger than the oldest classmates (March born)

ETA @ChelsieBubbles Your child could also leave school in December of her 6th year and not sit end of year exams. No obligation to stay if she's already 18.

@ByLimeBeaker

You've just illustrated the point.

They don't have "reception" in Scotland.

It's a totally different system.

Op, I would agree with the previous poster who said move this to Scotsnet to get more usual advice.

(As an aside, if I was in Scotland, I would absolutely defer a 4.8 year old).

I really don’t see why anyone would care that their child was almost one year older than others in the class?

DS1's best friend also left school after S5, he's a November birthday so started uni at 16. I went to uni at 17, but went to Edinburgh where a lot of the students were English and lots had also taken a year out. So I was 17, in lectures and tutorials with 20 year olds. It's a big gap at that age.

The comment was to the poster I quoted. Read the post.

I had a January baby and deferred. I knew I would as soon as she was born. I was less concerned about her coping with primary school and more about maturity at secondary. Though I had the same emotional concerns. She’s 10 now and thriving, she could have started earlier and coped, but I’m glad I did it and would again. You can only make the best decision you can OP. There’s years ahead of school and work, no hurry, whatever you decide will be fine x

How big is the school? If it is small and has a good system of nurturing the youngest pupils then it could be good for her to get started as she sounds academically ready. If it’s a larger school then she might feel overwhelmed by it? If it helps, I was a February baby and ended up the oldest in my primary school year group. I don’t remember anyone’s age ever seeming like a big deal, but being the oldest meant I was fast at sports and found a lot of classes relatively easy, which did a lot for my confidence.

I would defer if you have to make a decision now. If you can wait six months and decide then, that would be better.

why? Well you have behavioural concerns that are valid. You don’t want her to be constantly in trouble as this will create a dislike of school in her and affect her academically in the long run.

Have a chat with the parents of kids currently in P1 and get their thoughts. Will also give you an idea how common deferring is in your area. I have a grandchild started school last August and many children have deferred. In their class they have been having 6th birthday parties since before Christmas - the youngest child in the class just turned 5. In our area, your child starting school at 5 years and 8 months would not be unusual.

Yeah, defer her. Not abnormal in Scotland.

Going to uni at 17 means you can't legally drink. It means you can't socialise with a lot of your friends a lot of the time. My DC went to uni aged 17 and their tutors had to complete extra DBS checks to be alone with a minor.

Your daughter won't learn if she's not emotionally ready.

Absolutely defer her. Another year at nursery could make a massive difference. I'm confident that this is a decision that you'll never regret.

I'm a primary school teacher.

Surely if she's December born then she's one of the oldest in her year? Or it different in Scotland?

Yes its different
The cutoff for starting in August is to be born by the end of February so the oldest children are born in March and April and the youngest are born in January and February. Being born in December means she's on the younger side of the year group.

You'll get the majority of people saying defer.

I have an emotional Feb born DD. She turns 7 in a couple of weeks. She's in P3 and younger than some of the kids in P2. She's doing brilliantly and I'm confident in our decision.

My daughters were 4.2 and 4.3 and my son was 4.11 and they have thrived just as well x

Thanks for all the input still on the fence we shall see

What's the practical or logistical impact on you as a wider family by deferring? I'd factor that in if struggling to decide.

Agree. I deferred my January birthday although nursery had no issue with her starting school. I've never known anyone to regret deferring. People say they're glad they didn't as their kid was ready, okay, they'd also have been ready the following year and been a year older sitting exams, leaving school and heading off to Uni or college or into the world of work. It's an absolute no brainer to me.