Daughter will be 4.8 months when starting school

[ChelsieBubbles]

Unsure if I should defer my daughter from starting school in August. She will be 4.8 when starting. She has some issues emotionally (doesn't know she's being bad in the moment but after understands she was wrong) intelligence wise i think shes ready but emotionally im not sure if we do defer she will be 5.8 starting next year. Looking for some advice if we should defer or not as can't make our mind up.

Absolutely defer - you would be mad to send her to school at 4.8, she will be the youngest in her cohort by possibly 1.2 yrs.

The English posters will comment having no idea about the cultural differences between Scotland and England.

The school / nursery are telling you to. Everyone else will be. If you don’t she may well have to go to Uni at 17.

Also bear in mind that in Scotland you can leave school after 5th year as they can have all achieved their university qualifications by then if that is the route they with to take. They can then work for a year gaining life experience and money in the bank.

Or they can apply for apprenticeships after 4th year, when they are 16, rather than waiting until the end of 5th year

She sounds like a normal 4 year old. If you think she'll be fine academically, you risk her becoming bored and frustrated about an extra year at nursery with younger peers. Many children are emotionally immature at the start of Reception. The teachers are well use to dealing with children who struggle with their emotions. PSED is a prime area of the EYFS curriculum, so they'll work on this a lot. She also has half a year yet before she even starts. They change and develop so much in that time at this age.

You need to move this to scotsnet.

It's a totally different system.

I know there are cultural differences between England and Scotland, but I find it hard to see the benefit of nearly a whole cohort of reception age children being essentially the age they should be by year 1 ? As long as a child is typically developing why would you delay them starting school? Year R is for most part play based anyway.

If she doesn't defer she will be one of the youngest in her year group in Scotland. Even more so if the January/February have deferred

How do you know what Primary 1 is like in Scotland if your children are at school in England?

And?

I was correcting your assumption that she would be one of the older children

My kids were both born in December and January and I didn’t defer either of them. I knew it was an option and had an open mind but never thought it was necessary.

My friends son is also a December birthday and she did defer him. He found going back to nursery tricky after his friends went to school but soon settled again although was bored between Easter and summer holidays. Ultimately it was the right decision for them but she did a lot of second guessing.

Editing to add that my friends son was the first kid to be deferred for years and none have been deferred since. It’s not that common, at least not here

My twins are a month younger - definitely won't be deferring and see no reason to. A December bday isn't that young

I have to assume they follow the EYFS too, or something very very similar. It’s not that different to England…it’s only up the bloomin road. DH used to live and work in Scotland and I have family there, it’s not a mystery.

I also say all of this as a mum with a child who is significantly developmentally delayed. I’d love to have a child who I know will be fine at school. I do think it’s ridiculous this culture of deferring when the child is completely typically developing. Development is also not linear and all children are different. They can’t and won’t all be at the same rate of development just because they are in the same academic year.

I’m a p1 teacher in Scotland. I deferred my child. There are only benefits for your child being older when they start.

Well she will be if she starts school when she first can

No, she won't, because she's in Scotland. Its a different system.

The oldest children are born March, April.

Being “fine” is a low bar. Children should be able to thrive at school and the research shows starting formal education older leads to better outcomes.

Mine was 4 years and 3 days on first day of primary school. They catch up fast.

She would be one of the younger children as the oldest children would have March birthdays due to the end of February cut off for starting school.

My DS’s both late August born so just turned 4 when they started (England state schools). They would have hated to be left behind. Both A’s at A levels doing their chosen degrees now. Only issue was when all their friends started clubbing and they couldn’t. They soon caught up in Uni though. Unless you have real concerns I would never hold a child back.

I'm Ireland so different again but I'd say the parents who have the choice between oldest/youngest in the class always go for the oldest. Especially if it's the eldest in the family. In our school it's Jan- March birthdays that we have 2 age groups and nearly all the younger kids have older siblings. I think where you fall in your class is what I'd focus on most and if you'll be significantly older or younger I'd avoid that. If it's a choose between oldest and youngest I'd pick oldest. That said ds2 has a birthday where it's the youngest based on the school rules and he's grand, not a bother on him. But he'd buy and sell you so emotionally we didn't have any concerns.

OP - you should really get this thread moved to Scotsnet for informed, relevant replies.

Well, I was clearly wrong then. But I still think starting t 4.8 is fine

DD was 4 yrs 4 months and has had no problems at all, in yr 6 now, due to start SATs soon, expected to get extremely good results and has a good social group.

Unless there are other reasons besides age why you don't think she'd be ready, I don't think you should try to defer.

I didn't defer DS1 whose birthday is late December. He's now 17 and left school after S5.
I should have deferred him. He was physically very small and also immature. He does have ADHD though.

I would defer. All the Jan and Feb children did when I was in Scotland, and a lot of the Dec ones really should have done because they struggled.