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Son starts reception this sept he’s 4 need tips

53 replies

Dreamymama · 13/07/2024 01:04

Hi guys,

my son starts reception this sept he’s a summer baby, I was in the middle of sending my son to reception this year and trying to get him tos dart once he’s 5 but council or school didn’t agree. Anyways I think he will be okay just on the emotional side I worry a bit.

he is tiolet trained and I am teaching him how to wipe himself. I was wondering how the toilets would be in school for little kids? He uses a smaller potty on the flush but would it be according to there size? Would they be able to sit on it easily? I am so worried as teachers are not allowed to help them. :(

also does he take packed lunch or does the school provided this? Anyone else has a summer born who started reception at 4? I am just worried about him settling and getting used to 5 days. He goes daycare at the moment 3 days a week.

also am I able to still send him daycare during summer holidays?

OP posts:
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BoleynMemories13 · 13/07/2024 06:26

Have the school not held an information evening for new parents yet? Most of the questions you ask will be covered then, or in your welcome pack.

Toilets in schools are always sized appropriately for the children in that year group, don't worry. They're not going to be sitting on regular sized toilets, needing special steps or seats like they may still require at home. You say he uses a potty at home. That's great that he's toilet trained but you need to make the transition to toilet now to get him more use to it. What does he use at nursery? It's true school staff can't help with routinely wiping, unless an intimate care plan is in place, but they can guide a child to use wipes themselves if they're in a big mess. Definitely mention to them that he struggles wiping when he starts, so they know to be aware that he may need support with this. Do you receive a home visit in September at all? That's always a good time to have private chats like that.

It totally depends on his childcare setting as to whether you can still send him in August. Most pre-schools and school nurseries close during the six week summer holidays (the ones which operate in school hours) but private day nurseries are open all year. Again, you should really know this by now as, if they're closing for the summer, you'll have the last date of term written down somewhere in your correspondence from nursery. If it's a private setting, you'll need to decide when his last day will be and inform them so that you don't end up paying for sessions you don't wish to use.

It's up to you regarding his lunch. He will be entitled to universal free school meals up until the end of Year 2. Most schools offer both hot and cold options, but you do need to book these in advance. However, most schools will also allow the children to bring a packed lunch from home, if you'd prefer.

I know that starting school seems like a daunting step, especially if your child has only just turned 4 and especially if you've never done it before, but law of averages suggests roughly a third of his class will be summer born. The school will be well use to dealing with children that young. Many schools or LAs do refuse deferral unless there's a kjown, diagnosed need.

Learning through play is at the heart of the Early Years Foundation Stage, of which Reception forms the final year. Therefore, although he will be experiencing some big changes (new setting, new people etc), Reception is largely an extension of nursery. I'm sure he'll adapt to the 5 days pretty quickly. Kids are generally very adaptable and it won't be long before this is the new norm.

Ohiwish12 · 13/07/2024 06:29

I'm really surprised the school haven't sent you information/invited you to parent information evening and visits for your child so you can see where he will be going, see the toilets etc. I'd contact the school and ask for support with transition information on Monday before the school shuts for summer.

Your current childcare depends if it's open over summer and if you are paying for the 3 days a week childcare? You would need to give notice to your childcare of when you want the current placement to end. The funded hours are usually term time only.

mumonthehill · 13/07/2024 06:48

I am also surprised that he has not done any transition days. Has he met his teacher? He will be looked after and shown the toilets etc. if you have any concerns then have a chat with the school next week. Also check with the school re school lunches. Mine hated school lunches. They may also let them bring in a soft toy on their first day. Label all the clothes with his name and also his pe bag and make sure he recognises it. Re after school and holiday care you need to see what is available around you so childminder, holiday clubs and if the school does a breakfast or after school club.

Philandbill · 13/07/2024 06:50

All of the above. Also (as an ex reception class teacher) please label every item of clothing or possession that he could possibly leave somewhere. Buy decent stick in or sew in labels for jumpers and coats and use them. Also buy stick on labels for water bottle and anything else like that. We have a pile of lost property in school, all if it with no name on. If a parent came to me to complain that a jumper was lost and it had no name on and was blue like all of the others in school I'd simply smile and point the to the massive box in the office and let them sort through it themselves. If things have a name then I'll help with the search. ----

witmum · 13/07/2024 06:58

This book could be useful. Five Minute Mum: Starting School a.co/d/bXhaFSb

autumn1638 · 13/07/2024 06:58

My little boy started reception last year and was just 4. His birthday is in august.

He was toilet trained but couldn't wipe himself (still v dodgy now). I put him on the loo after breakfast everyday and he has only done a poo at school a handful of times. His teacher helped him wipe in his first week. He comes home with skids sometimes but nothing too bad. I put flushable wipes in his bag and I make sure he has spare clothes on his peg. He has had one accident but they just changed him and it was fine.

He was very tired in his first few weeks but he adjusted.

He then broke his leg and had a term off! So it was a bit of a non starter!

I would speak to school and let them know that your child is young and that he finds toileting tricky but that he is toilet trained.

Ask what support they can give him in terms of settling. Our school are lovely and my child has been much happier at school than he was at pre school. Much more settled more friends and it's not boring. I think he was bored at pre school.

To begin with he forgot to drink and it was hot so I spoke to his teacher loads about getting him to drink. I think she felt pressurised but I just kept on at her and he drinks now.

I sent him with a lunch box because he is a fussy eater but he is allowed to choose in the morning to have the school lunch- he never does really. I think the lunches they provide are fine.

The summer born boy issue is well known and his teacher will support him to settle in.

mrssunshinexxx · 13/07/2024 07:00

I have a summer born who has just turned 4. She is starting this time I'm not overly concerned as she's pretty advanced but gets very tired. Legally they do not need to be in full time until they are 5 so I will see how she goes and not send her Fridays or pick her up Friday lunch if she's shattered or another day in the week

autumn1638 · 13/07/2024 07:05

Oh yes! Schools try to say that they have to start full time. I started my little boy mornings only and then pushed him up to full time. I told them he would be in full time so they could have the full time funding and then picked him up whenever he was tired at lunchtime so he could have a sleep. School were fine with this. It took him a couple of weeks to get used to it. Now we are at the end of the year I struggle to get him to sleep for 8pm and he doesn't ever nap. I would suggest doing whatever seems right for your child at the time.

Flubadubba · 13/07/2024 07:11

I would definitely read whatever info the school has provided- ours provided a book with everything you need to know, including information about how to ensure your child gets yhe universal free meals on infant school.

Talk to the school (ideally the teacher) about any concerns you have- it's likely not anything that they haven't seen before. And work on school readiness.

lifehappens12 · 13/07/2024 07:23

Hopefully before school starts you will get to the meet the teacher. We did and then we could explain things - like my son loves his teddies, sometimes needs a quiet space etc.

We used to send spare pants and trousers in his booking just to be sure

Dreamymama · 13/07/2024 07:28

There were issues with his admission so he only got offered his place last week which is why I haven’t heard from the teachers etc, I will try and contact his school Monday and see if I can see the reception and speak to his teachers etc.

OP posts:
Sprogonthetyne · 13/07/2024 07:37

The toilets in school are child size. Still proper plumbed in toilets, just smaller. At DD's they have cubicles at a hight where other kids can't see, but an adult can peek over the top to check everything's OK.

However, it's normal for 4yo's to be able use normal toilets. We have family seats at home but my 4yo has just been balancing on normal seats when out for years, and is starting to prefer the normal sized seat at home. I'd probably work on getting rid of the potty anyway.

Reception age kids are all entitled to free school meals. Your kid will usually get a choice between a couple of hot option or a sandwich. Check how it works with the school though, as sometimes you need to order online for them. If your kid is picky, you also have the option to send a packed lunch, if you want to.

Peclet · 13/07/2024 07:43

Things that would be good for him practise over the summer to do independently

toileting including wiping
getting changed into PE clothes and back into uniform
hanging his things on a peg
putting shoes/wellies on the right feet
eating independently using cutlery
turn taking
holding a crayon/pencil
recognising his name written down
putting sun cream on his face

mynameiscalypso · 13/07/2024 07:43

I can't add much to the excellent advice about but just to say my summer born is just finishing Reception and he has absolutely thrived. It's been quite remarkable. He's small and looks quite young for sure (and is terrible at PE although that's probably genetic...) but socially and academically he's doing brilliantly and is working at a Year 1/2 level according to his teacher.

NerrSnerr · 13/07/2024 07:44

Even though they do have small toilets in school I'd get him used to using normal sized toilets. My youngest is tiny (started school age 4.5 in age 2-3 trousers) and he managed it. This is in case they have any early trips (and it's easier at home and out and about if they can use a toilet properly).

thatstakingalongtimetoboil · 13/07/2024 07:57

Dreamymama · 13/07/2024 07:28

There were issues with his admission so he only got offered his place last week which is why I haven’t heard from the teachers etc, I will try and contact his school Monday and see if I can see the reception and speak to his teachers etc.

You need to make a packed lunch. Does he have to go to daycare In the holidays. He will need a rest.

UKposter · 13/07/2024 08:03

As you applied late you will have missed all the transition sessions where all this is explained and your DC has time to settle.
some schools only have a week left so getting in touch with the school on Monday will be a priority.
Hopefully they will allow a more staggered start due to missing transition.
A summer born boy in my DCs class was allowed to just attend mornings for the first term so you could ask about that if that is practical for you.
If your childcare normally goes over the summer then you should be able to continue that until he goes to school. You will need to give notice so they know his final date.
There is usually a what’s app group or SM page tor the parents, you could try to get on that. Also could you try to arrange a play at the park to meet some of the class if he doesn’t know anyone. This could be tricky at this stage but worth a thought.

NerrSnerr · 13/07/2024 08:09

@thatstakingalongtimetoboil not necessarily. They could also have school dinners.

Flubadubba · 13/07/2024 08:11

thatstakingalongtimetoboil · 13/07/2024 07:57

You need to make a packed lunch. Does he have to go to daycare In the holidays. He will need a rest.

All kids from year R to year 2 get a free lunch as standard. The school organises this- you often just have to choose from the options by a certain date. No need to make a packed lunch unless the child is fussy or has needs that can't be catered for if the school are told (unlikely as most are used to allergies etc).

OP just needs to ask the school how to organise this- it's likely they will include it in any materials sent to parents.

Sprogonthetyne · 13/07/2024 08:33

When you call, ask if they change for pe, or go in pe kit? No point buying 5 days worth if uniform if they need to be in joggers & t-shirt 2 days a week.

(My kids schools started doing this during covid, but decided to keep it as it saves time).

Also ask if there's anything else they need. My reception starter needs a school logoed book bag, and wellies/puddle suit for forest school.

IbizaToTheNorfolkBroads · 13/07/2024 08:54

Peclet · 13/07/2024 07:43

Things that would be good for him practise over the summer to do independently

toileting including wiping
getting changed into PE clothes and back into uniform
hanging his things on a peg
putting shoes/wellies on the right feet
eating independently using cutlery
turn taking
holding a crayon/pencil
recognising his name written down
putting sun cream on his face

Also going

IbizaToTheNorfolkBroads · 13/07/2024 08:55

Peclet · 13/07/2024 07:43

Things that would be good for him practise over the summer to do independently

toileting including wiping
getting changed into PE clothes and back into uniform
hanging his things on a peg
putting shoes/wellies on the right feet
eating independently using cutlery
turn taking
holding a crayon/pencil
recognising his name written down
putting sun cream on his face

Also

Doing up his coat

IbizaToTheNorfolkBroads · 13/07/2024 08:59

You also need to find out from the school about if they stagger Reception attendance at a the start of term, of if they all start full time on the first day of term. It is common to do a few days of half days, building up to full time over a number of days or weeks.

Dreamymama · 13/07/2024 09:00

IbizaToTheNorfolkBroads · 13/07/2024 08:55

Also

Doing up his coat

He doesn’t know how to do most of these things he’s only 4 😭 I am going to try to teach him but just so worried for him, if he doesn’t learn in that time will they support him?

I will speak to the school regarding this and maybe get him a visit in before they close

OP posts:
Dreamymama · 13/07/2024 09:01

IbizaToTheNorfolkBroads · 13/07/2024 08:59

You also need to find out from the school about if they stagger Reception attendance at a the start of term, of if they all start full time on the first day of term. It is common to do a few days of half days, building up to full time over a number of days or weeks.

Yes they did mention they will start him off on half days for a month and then see how he goes if they think he’s not ready they will continue half days until he’s ready for full time

OP posts: