Reasonable to ask not have teacher again?

[ToDoOrNotToDo81]

I've NC for this as it may be identifying when linked to other posts.

DD1 is in y2, DD in Reception.

We had an awful experience with DD1's yr1 teacher. We weren't alone in this, many other parents in the class had similar concerns. I spoke with the school, as did others I believe, and was assured the teacher was receiving support to improve, some sort of development plan was in place.

The concerns I had ranged from homework never marked, she never read with the kids, she seemed to actively dislike some of the children (mostly boys), was openly rude and hostile to parents. It was a dreadful year. DD1 went backwards in Maths and we did we could to just keep her up to speed with some bits at home. We essentially wrote off much of the year.

And now DD2 is in Reception and with two classes in each year, there is chance we will have this teacher again in y1. She only teaches y1.

I know this sounds awful, but I don't think we can do it. DD2 is v different to DD1, in that the latter is pretty academic and interested in learning for its own sake, would happily do a bit of work at home. My own circumstances have also changed in that my "D"H walked out on the family very recently, leaving behind 3 devastated children who are all struggling. On a personal level, as it is only me and I work, I would be unable to support DD2 to get through it in the way I did DD1 when DH still had involvement.

I feel awful even considering it, but would it be reasonable to talk to the school and ask to please not have this teacher next year?

I just don't know what to do.

Any thoughts appreciated.

Yabu.

I doubt they would listen, especially if its about marking homework.
Our school doesnt mark anything in 10.5 years of kids there.
Dd1 unfortunately had the one not great teacher twice!! I felt sad for dd as the teacher would still see her as the child she was at 5, when she was 9.

And they both got another one.

I don't think that you are being unreasonable, but I would be careful how you phrase it as you may end up having the teacher anyway. I would be tempted to ask for a meeting with the school and maybe highlight the fact that the teacher has lost your confidence and that you would prefer a different teacher.

If you said that you wanted a teacher to provide more support, my worry would be that you would be fobbed off by the senior managment team and put into the class with the promise that they are being supported.

Thanks.
@gato21 yes, my concern would be how I phrased it. It's a tricky one.

YABU. You can make complaints about the teacher via the complaints procedure, but the school will then deal with that however they see fit. I'm afraid you don't get to have an input into the staffing of the school. That's not how it works. I can only imagine how many requests to have/not have certain teachers there would be in every secondary school if this were a thing.

You can ask.

The chance they will take any notice of it is small.

I’ve obviously not experienced what you have but please don’t be too harsh about the homework and the reading.
As a year 1 teacher myself I’m afraid homework books are always the bottom of my list to mark as it doesn’t serve any real purpose for my teaching. It’s usually consolidation practice of things already covered in lessons so I already know who needs further support. There’s also no way of knowing how much parental involvement there’s been and how much was done independently. Homework for me is more a way of showing parents what we’re learning in the hope that some of the learning might continue at home. I will take a quick glance in the books to check who’s engaging with it but marking just isn’t a priority.
In terms of listening to the kids read unfortunately due to the curriculum and the amount of content we need to cover there just physically isn’t enough time in the day. It’s slightly different in reception due to the child to adult ratio but year 1 classes are lucky to have even one additional adult. I’d love to hear readers but unfortunately have to rely on volunteers to do it instead.
The other issues are unacceptable though so I can understand your concern there.

YANBU to ask. Don't know if the school will listen though unfortunately 😕

YABVU
learning doesn’t end when the school day ends!
learning happens at home too!
So to blame the teacher is out of order

YANBU. If you don’t advocate for your children no one will. Schools aren’t always ‘in the right’.
Whether you’ll get anywhere is another matter.

She didn't mark the year 1 "homework" and you complained? YABU

@shreknjumps if you read my full post you'd realise there was way more to it than that, unfortunately. No I didn't complain solely about the homework.

@Bertiesmum3 have you actually read my post?

It is not my job to do her job.

Teachers - like anyone else in a job - don't get a free pass for poor performance.

I am a single mum to 3 kids. If I wanted to homeschool then I would have though of it.

Yes I have read the post and if you’ve got a problem with your child falling behind then as a parent you put in the effort to bring your child up to the correct level for their age instead of blaming the teacher for poor teaching

My DS had a crap teacher and I spoke to the school when my DD was going to be in that year. I said that the relationship with that teacher had broken down and that I thought it would be best for everyone if my DD was in the other class and they agreed.

Teachers have to pass performance related management every year. If she was that bad she wouldn’t be getting through pm.

She will be watched and progress looked at. It must suit the school.

So if your child is falling behind, it’s your responsibility to sort that out? What if it’s due to poor teaching or poor communication with that child? Surely parents role is to support, ensuring children do homework and help them with spellings & timetables. not teach where they have gaps.

What is the other teacher like?
I really wouldn't frame it critically as schools - rightly - will usually defend their staff.
Could you ask it in such a way as you want to avoid any comparison between the children at home? So a different teacher would be really helpful for you. Not unreasonable to tell the school that the kids have had a lot of disruption at home and you're trying to ensure they're best supported at school.

"if you read my full post you'd realise there was way more to it than that, unfortunately. No I didn't complain solely about the homework."

Your post said she didn't mark homework, didn't seem to like boys and was "hostile" to parents. Righto 👍

@Bertiesmum3 no. My job as a parent is to support, encourage and engage. Not to do the teacher's job for them and make up for their poor performance in the school day. They are the teacher, it is their job to .... Do their job.

I am a lone parent of 3 kids, who works to support them solo. I read with them every night, ensure home work is done, enrich their lives as much as I can. But no, I don't accept that it is also my job to be their teacher when they go to bloody school!

@Beamur the other teacher is great, as far as I know. Thanks for your suggestion.

@sthonore glad to hear this, thanks.

@mammabing I take your point about homework, and indeed if that had been the only issue then it would have been fine. DD1's y2 teacher often doesn't mark homework, but it's not a huge deal as overall the kids are making progress, are happy coming to school and settled, the teacher is fab.

The problem with the y1 teacher arose from a collection of issues, some more problematic than others.

It would be ridiculous. The school are not going to allocate teachers according to one child's parents' preferences. If it is such an issue move schools. It is unreasonable to expect the school to cater for your feelings here.

I’m not surprised the teacher didn’t like the parents

Parents don’t get to dictate staffing at a school.