Reasonable to ask not have teacher again?

[ToDoOrNotToDo81]

I've NC for this as it may be identifying when linked to other posts.

DD1 is in y2, DD in Reception.

We had an awful experience with DD1's yr1 teacher. We weren't alone in this, many other parents in the class had similar concerns. I spoke with the school, as did others I believe, and was assured the teacher was receiving support to improve, some sort of development plan was in place.

The concerns I had ranged from homework never marked, she never read with the kids, she seemed to actively dislike some of the children (mostly boys), was openly rude and hostile to parents. It was a dreadful year. DD1 went backwards in Maths and we did we could to just keep her up to speed with some bits at home. We essentially wrote off much of the year.

And now DD2 is in Reception and with two classes in each year, there is chance we will have this teacher again in y1. She only teaches y1.

I know this sounds awful, but I don't think we can do it. DD2 is v different to DD1, in that the latter is pretty academic and interested in learning for its own sake, would happily do a bit of work at home. My own circumstances have also changed in that my "D"H walked out on the family very recently, leaving behind 3 devastated children who are all struggling. On a personal level, as it is only me and I work, I would be unable to support DD2 to get through it in the way I did DD1 when DH still had involvement.

I feel awful even considering it, but would it be reasonable to talk to the school and ask to please not have this teacher next year?

I just don't know what to do.

Any thoughts appreciated.

@User56785 my mum is an ex reception/yr1 teacher and she thinks it is easy to hear 6 children a day read, hence getting through all 30 in a week whilst the other children are occupied with other tasks where they have been given instructions on what to do and should be practicing eg letter formation by themselves

When did she retire?

Quite honestly things have changed astronomically over the the last few years. The children who are starting school now are not quietly engaging in letter formation.

Standard response of many HT is to apologise and say that they will address issue. They say this whether they agree or not. The fact that the head told you that you were right is fairly meaningless.

@User56785 when did things change? It doesn't matter what I say I'm sure you will have an excuse

I don't know how you can tell if a child went backwards in maths between reception and year one. That's quite specific and I'm not sure how it's measurable at that basic level. But I do think they would take your preference not to have your younger child with this teacher into account, not lead to save themselves some aggravation later on.

Gosh! An excuse!

You make it sound like she is putting her feet up for the hour a day it would take to listen to six children read. Which is unlikely.

I'd say things changed when children started to spend so much time at home on screens. They aren't even looking out of a car window to see a sheep. Their parents aren't talking to them as much and they are arriving at school unsocialised and unskilled. Covid hasn't helped.

Listening to six readers a day isn't a possibility in EYFS.

You've rattled some teachers' cages here, OP 😅

Never feel guilty about advocating for your child's needs. People wilfully ignoring the substance of your post and harping on about homework when it seems clear that this was a small part (if any) of the actual issue with this teacher are not doing their cause any favours. 4/5 year olds should not be feeling unliked by the adults in charge of their care. They should not be humiliated as a punishment. If multiple children are not progressing as expected then there's obviously something going on, and in this case the HT seems to have agreed that the teaching was not adequate. No sane parent is going to want a second child to endure the same experience.

Teachers are just people with jobs. Some of them are hard-working and dedicated but some of them are entirely unsuited to their role and harm the wellbeing and progress of the children in their care. In those cases, parents should absolutely take steps to advocate for their child.

Thank you @FrankieLet

Trying to give a balanced reply as both a parent and a teacher.

Some teachers are better than others, and I have worked with some I would not like to teach my own children, they should absolutely not be humiliating children and that is one thing I would be very unhappy about .

As others have said, homework is. Non issue. Other than reading at home, all the research shows it’s pointless at such a young age, and when teachers are as stretched as they are, it will always be bottom of the pile, it really is only set to please parents.

Reading is also difficult, I would love to hear children individually more, but it’s just not possible. I try to explain that I teach children the skills to read in school, they also read in some form a lot ( paired reading, sentences across the curriculum etc) and I am constantly listening and checking. I do not often have time to read their home reader one to one though. Whoever suggested I could hear 6 in a day has not been in a class recently. I am regularly in my own with the class, and if I was properly reading with the child in a way that would have any impact, I would not be watching the other 29. Can you imagine if an incident occurred!

I would say, no harm in mentioning you would prefer a nurturing teacher next year due to family circumstances, but don’t think you should name names.

Change here, not an excuse, Department of Education statutory guidance.

Emphasises the teaching of reading, language and communication. Teaching the skills required to read is the teachers job.
Listening to a child read is only practising these skills. An adult can do this.

Includes the need for teachers to identify those who are not keeping up, rather than those that are.

https://assets.publishing.service.gov.uk/media/65830c10ed3c34000d3bfcad/The_reading_framework.pdf

That guidance is from July last year and is excusing teachers from doing it, doesn't say they can't do it. My mum retired year before lockdown, so not long ago and certainly not long ago given no teachers (apart from parent ones) were hearing children read for a year anyway. My mum would say that hearing a child read was important to her, even if for 5 mins as being very experienced she would spot quicker than anyone without her experience if there were issues with phonics/processing or speech and be able to put things in place to help them quicker rather than it possibly getting missed or delayed, but equally to recognise and extend those that can. This is not at odds with that guidance.

@Blahahahah , still waiting to hear what the other 29 we’re doing in that time that was of benefit ? As must have been about an hour each day? Being very experienced I can spot those things when listening in during phonics sessions, group work , targeting questions etc I hear children read all day but not their home reading book 🤷‍♀️

My suggestion would be to try to find out what you can about the alternative year 1 teacher. Is there a reason she might be particularly suitable for DD2?
It could be that you will get a more positive response from the school by saying you've heard such great things about this other teacher and give reasons why she would be just right for DD. Maybe you can find something very specific to say about this.

It's usually better psychology to big up teacher A than to criticise teacher B.
You have my sympathy though. A bullying teacher can ruin a child's educational experience.

OP you have nothing to lose by asking for a meeting with the head to discuss your concerns. I would. Hopefully she will listen. Don't tell the other parents though as they will all be at it!

We had this with an awful teacher and the relationship totally broke down. I struggled with what to do for younger dc. If it had been one dc I would absolutely have asked to not have him again but it was dtds who were in separate classes so my options were to move one dtd away from her friends and in with her twin which I also didn’t feel was beneficial.

it worked out as during the summer holiday he had a breakdown and never returned to teaching. I am not sympathetic as he created a narrative that had the child psychologist reviewing my dc1 because of some totally made up bs. It was so so crazy - he said he was scared of dd1 and thought she might hurt someone. The psychologist said dd was totally fine but anxious around the teacher, and the teacher yelled in my face in front of the head saying he knew dd better than me. It was madness. Dd is now 16 and the softest, kindest teen. I’m still totally baffled by that year of school.

Anyway, just ask on the grounds the relationship and trust between parents and teacher have broken down.

@OutwiththeOutCrowd that's a good approach, thank you. I know a bit about the other teacher & she's certainly very well respected and liked, so I will give this further thought.

Out of interest OP, how could you leave your DD1 in that environment for a year? I couldn't, personally.

I'd maybe stick to the fresh start line, don't mention the teacher by name or direct any criticism at all to them. Make it all about your DC 'for some reason' having had a difficult year and seeming anxious and you'd love a completely fresh start.

@WYorkshireRose I did consider moving her but also still had an older child in y6 at the school at the same time, and the younger one at nursery down the road. So, we went in to talk to the head about it all and then entered into a cycle of things improving a bit briefly, then worsening again, on repeat. And then we hit Easter and I figured we just wait it out and support as best we could. But yes, moving was a serious consideration back then.