Reasonable to ask not have teacher again?

[ToDoOrNotToDo81]

I've NC for this as it may be identifying when linked to other posts.

DD1 is in y2, DD in Reception.

We had an awful experience with DD1's yr1 teacher. We weren't alone in this, many other parents in the class had similar concerns. I spoke with the school, as did others I believe, and was assured the teacher was receiving support to improve, some sort of development plan was in place.

The concerns I had ranged from homework never marked, she never read with the kids, she seemed to actively dislike some of the children (mostly boys), was openly rude and hostile to parents. It was a dreadful year. DD1 went backwards in Maths and we did we could to just keep her up to speed with some bits at home. We essentially wrote off much of the year.

And now DD2 is in Reception and with two classes in each year, there is chance we will have this teacher again in y1. She only teaches y1.

I know this sounds awful, but I don't think we can do it. DD2 is v different to DD1, in that the latter is pretty academic and interested in learning for its own sake, would happily do a bit of work at home. My own circumstances have also changed in that my "D"H walked out on the family very recently, leaving behind 3 devastated children who are all struggling. On a personal level, as it is only me and I work, I would be unable to support DD2 to get through it in the way I did DD1 when DH still had involvement.

I feel awful even considering it, but would it be reasonable to talk to the school and ask to please not have this teacher next year?

I just don't know what to do.

Any thoughts appreciated.

How about if it’s not the teachers fault a child is falling behind, the child is a slow learner and not able to learn like the other children in the class, that is not the teacher’s fault, it’s then up to the parents to give additional help outside of school hours, to try to help their child catch up !
yes talking from experience with one of my own

@Bertiesmum3 not the case here. The entire class struggled with things, not just my daughter. She isn't a slow learner. Not my job to compensate for her teacher's poor performance. Though you will note that I did what I could to support.

What exactly do you think the role of the teacher should be? Or do you think it is entirely a parent's responsibility and it doesn't matter what happens in the school day?

You can’t know about the learning of other students in the class. Gossip at the school gates isn’t fact.

I think teacher perception is funny. Some teachers are experts at cultivating the parents et al and others not so much. And when the narrative takes a certain turn things snowball and take a life of their own.

I can’t hear readers as a Y1 teacher…every child reads every day in storybooks but will be heard by different people. I have been down with covid shortly after Christmas and just marked homework books for the first time since last week. I am never rude but I am sure some parents would view me as short at times. Some probably wish their kids would never have me.

When I spoke to the head about the issues I had when DD1 had the teacher, the head acknowledged that the teacher's conduct had fallen short in relation to a few of the incidents I raised and she apologised and said that the school was aware of concerns and planned to address them.I did not imagine these incidents. The teacher belittled and was horribly rude to my DD in front of a playground of other parents and children. Not acceptable.

@AuroraCake I totally get that teachers have different styles, my soon to be ex is a teacher. I don't need a teacher to cultivate a smooth relationship with me or charm me, that isn't there job. But I do think basic politeness and not humiliating 5 yr old kids is part of the job.

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Well humiliating children is not acceptable.

and was assured the teacher was receiving support to improve, some sort of development plan was in place.

Improvement development plans should never have been discussed with a parent. This is weak leadership of the HT.

@DaisyDaffodil yes, I get that. But it doesn't change anything from my perspective - what happened happened, whether I know about the consequences for the teacher or not.

Whatever happened the leadership of the school is disgusting if an HT is discussing the performance of their teaching staff with parents.

You’re on here moaning about Y1 homework not being marked amongst other things. If you’re not happy with the school move your children. I’d love to hear the teachers version of events tbh.

Unless you’re in the classroom you have no right to judge. I feel so sorry for teachers and so many are leaving the profession due to ineffective leadership and awful parents.

It’s the responsibility of both teachers and parent!

@DaisyDaffodil firstly, I am not responsible for the conduct of the head. Secondly, if you had bothered to read my posts you would know that not marking homework is one part of the issue. Some of the other parts are significantly more serious.

I very much hope you don't think it is acceptable for teachers to humiliate and bully children, as that is what happened to my daughter. I assume you think that this teacher is beyond reproach purely because she is a teacher? There are some shit teachers out there, just like there are shit members of other professions.

What other behaviour would you defend or close ranks on without entertaining the possibility that a teacher messed up, or frankly just isn't good at her job, to the extent it affects the children.

Teachers are not infallible and are as capable of awful performance and behaviour as those who work in other walks of life, yet you immediately assume that I am an "awful parent" and can't be believed if I am criticising a teacher. 🤔

And I absolutely do have a right to judge because I was stood in the playground at drop off and saw and heard exactly what happened to my DD @DaisyDaffodil. So yes, I will judge that and when a teacher mocks my daughter's appearance and laughs at a new skill she has tried to learn, reducing her to tears before she's in the building, you're damn right I will judge.

How on earth would you know about the learning of the other kids?
Maybe your daughter needs to focus more in ckass? And yes, it is your job to support your own child!

I'd phrase it as DD needing a bit more TLC with her dad leaving. Do you know the name of the other teacher? Could you say that Mrs X / Mr Y's class would be helpful to your family.

I'd speak to head and ask that your dd be in the other class due to relationship breakdown with other teacher. What ever head says follow it up with a email so there's a oaper trail,

You don't say exactly why your younger daughter is different. Is it just that she doesn't do homework without prompting and you don't feel able to support her with it?

was assured the teacher was receiving support to improve, some sort of development plan was in place.

I am incredibly sceptical the head said this to you. You are getting a hard time because people are struggling to believe your version of events. You are coming across as very arrogant.

It might be this is just the way you communicate about a difficult time but, if you do speak to the head you meed to find a way to express yourself differently on this issue.

Marking homework is an incredible waste of time. There isn't much point to homework at all but if it's something that is happening and you choose to do it, the idea is that you are supporting your own child. Some parents are keen on homework as it gives them an idea of what's happening at school.

In year one, every child will be producing about eight pieces of work a day. So two hundred and forty things a day to mark and talk about and suggest improvements. One thousand two hundred a week for the teacher and one for you.

I know you say there are other issues but the homework one is nonsensical.

Take her out then. There are no teachers. I'm driving to a school half an hour away today, double my maximum distance as a supply teacher, to a year one class who have had no teacher since September as they can't recruit. They have been using two supply teachers to cover but now one of them has decided to leave - last night at 8.30pm.

Firstly, if you spoke to the teacher in the manner you’re doing so on here you’re rude. Secondly, you’re making a hell of a lot of assumptions about me (a randomer on the internet). If you’re doing this about someone on the internet poor bloody teaching staff at your children’s school.

Do it, OP. You can't dictate, no, but when I receive notification that a relationship between teacher and family has broken down, I do my best to ensure that child has another teacher in the future.

It doesn't hurt to ask. You may not get what you want, but as long as you're polite and reasonable (which you sound!), it cannot do harm and may well do good.

Hope you're OK. It all sounds tough at the moment

What is the reading policy at the school? Do you mean that she isn't reading the book that you take home with you? If so, that's perfectly normal. That's not for the teacher to read that for you to read with your child.

As you are mentioning things that should be happening at home, is it because you want acknowledgement that you are doing homework and reading the books?

How long do you think it would take a teacher to listen to every child in the class read?

What would you like the other children to be doing whilst the teacher is occupied with just one child?

@User56785 my mum is an ex reception/yr1 teacher and she thinks it is easy to hear 6 children a day read, hence getting through all 30 in a week whilst the other children are occupied with other tasks where they have been given instructions on what to do and should be practicing eg letter formation by themselves

@Blahahahah I have been an EYFS and Y1 teacher for 10 years. As class teacher, I'd hope and try to hear every child read once every couple of weeks, if possible.

To have a high quality reading session with a child, they would need undivided attention for a solid 10 minutes. This equates to an hour per day on your terms and just isn't feasible. If there are volunteer adult readers/ LSAs then it's certainly easier, but that equates to a good chunk of the teaching day on independent reading alone. What you aren't taking into account are SEND levels - children with or without EHCPs - where additional adults may be allocated to support and at worst, no support available. Certainly, a class LSA is a rarity these days and extra adults are employed to support children 1:1, not those in the rest of the class.

In addition to this, you're not considering that children between the ages of 4 and 6 have a very short attention span. If they think an adult isn't looking, they will mess around. They will also need support to check that they are completing a task to their best ability. You mentioned letter formation: it's no good them copying the letter 'a' 140 times but all to a very low standard because they are bored and unfocused and haven't had teacher intervention. In general, children will have questions about their learning, put their hand up to go to the toilet, wander over to you to show you something, all the while you're reading and multi tasking. The disruption to the reader is why they require a longer session - to actually make progress themselves.

With the best will in the world, the hearsay you have from your ex teacher mum's experience is not the experience of a teacher in recent years and certainly not of teaching in 2024. The curriculum has changed, OFSTED pressures increased and much more. It would be a joy to hear every child read per week but when you're teaching alone in a classroom with very young children, no other adult support allocated to the class and behaviour issues to contend with, it just isn't always possible.