omg dd got in terrible trouble at school today and im the outcast mother

[nailpolish]

book day dd went as a cat. her friend went to pull ehr tail in the dinner queue. dd turned and scratched her friend "like cats do" - friend now has a 3 inch long scratch on her throat. headteacher was there and dealt with it and she spoke to me in the playground at the bell (oh the shame)

i couldnt apologise enough to the mother and dd said sorry about a hundred times. but i know hte mother is very annoyed and i m so ashamed

dd went straight to her room - ive told erh she cnat go to a classmates birthday party on sunday - should i stick with that?

How old is DD?

shes 5

Ahh, I wouldn't be too hard on her, sounds to me like she was playing at being a cat, and not being nasty.
Just make it clear she got a little carried away and needs to be more careful, I don't think I would stop her from going to a party.

how old is your dd? It does sound like an accident. You shouldn't feel ashamed, it wasn't your fault. IMO, not letting her go to the party is rather harsh - but it's your decision. You know your dd best.

I personally would cut her finger nails really really short.

i said to her about the party as a knee-jerk reaction.

You can always tell her you've rethought her punishment.

ok im away to talk to her

thanks

Sounds like she didn't mean it, and it was in retaliation to being provoked...like kids do. The punishment sounds a little extreme for the crime and it's not really very immediate therefore won't be as effective.

I'd try and reflect on it with her and help her see why it wasn't acceptable, 5yrs is old enough to do this.

As for being an "outcast Mum" don't worry about it, what's so good about being an included Mu
m anyway??? I'm sure they'll get over it.

Aw don't feel ashamed, your dd was getting into character. If your dd gives her a small prezzy (chocolate!) to say sorry I'm sure all will be forgiven.

Then she could go to the party?

Shame on the other girl too - doesn't her friend know you don't pull cat's tails?

I would go up and say you have had a think and will let her go to the party on sunday

she is very ashamed and white as a sheet after being in trouble with the headmistress. she siad no-one gave friend into trouble for pulling her tail all day

sigh

its a minefield

i didnt mention party just yet

Its always about visible marks isn't it?

No notice taken of day-long provocation

I have told dd2 she could't go to a party before due to bad behaviour

then when she behaved I relented and said she could

I think you should let her go and if she has apologised tell her not to worry about headmistress

thats right cam

it sounds like she's sorry, and she's not likely to do it again is she. I'm surprised the headteacher spoke to you about it nailpolish.

bless her, sounds like she had enough punishment already,poor little mite,tell her she can go to the party please

i think it was the head hwo spoke to me about it as it was her who dealt wiht it (she had just happened to be there)

she then went on to say "we have to watch our hands dont we [dd] - taking things from [teachers] desk amongst others"

sigh

we hve a parents evening coming up so i can talk more about that to teacher

i am slightly irked friend didnt get into trouble for tail-pulling

Maybe because it wasn't a real tail np

it was pretty damn good though - i sat up all bloomin night sewing it!

well she might have done - you don't know if (for eg) the class teacher will have a word with the other mum tomorrow. I wouldn't worry about the other girl, just make sure your DD understands that scratching is a bad idea (and it hurts more than pulling a flase tail, to be fair). Sounds like she's learned her lesson - let her go the the party, go oooooooooon

i am still thinking about the party. will probably let her go but im not telling her that at this moment in time

I had a birthday party one year and my friend wasn't allowed to come because she had been naughty. I was very upset as I wanted her there at my party.

Let her go!