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Original poster

Star of the week dilemmas

98 replies

Raisinsandweetabix · 22/09/2023 20:42

My son is in Y2. Despite not being the brightest or the most confident, he is very well behaved and hard working. Never once had a bad word about him from school.
At our school they do 'star of the week' for children who have demonstrated good behaviour relating to the core values.
Not ONCE in his time there has he received this award, while other children have had it 2,3,4 times. While my son sits there clapping like a monkey feeling rubbish because he never gets chosen.
I have felt really down about this as he is in need of a boost and why the hell shouldn't he. Never misses his homework, unlike some who never fill anything out . My question is- would you broach this with the teacher? I'm so so close to sending an email right now.

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Rosiiee · 23/09/2023 09:44

I’d mention it to his teacher in an email for sure! I think every student gets it at some stage? DS has been getting it at least 2 times a year and same with the others- I think the teacher just really makes sure everyone gets it at some stage. We’re in year 1. I’m sure it’s an overlook from the teacher OP and nothing to do with your DS 😊

JulesJules · 23/09/2023 09:45

This was the same for my D1, she used to come home really upset every Friday when star of the week was given to some naughty boy to encourage him to behave when she'd been trying so hard to be good. I mentioned it to the teacher near the end of the year and she just laughed and said not to worry, they all got star of the week at some point. Well D1 never did, she was distraught and I have to say it's still a bit of a 'hold against'! She has just graduated from Oxford with a first and I honestly feel like emailing the school to tell them (I won't of course) 😅

WinterCarlisle · 23/09/2023 12:09

@DiaryOfaTTCer

Poor on your part, I’m afraid. I am under no doubt how hard teachers work. I’m in a hugely under valued, under resourced public sector role too but this kind of attitude will absolutely lead some overlooked kids to feel absolutely shit

morechocolateneededtoday · 23/09/2023 15:50

DiaryOfaTTCer · 22/09/2023 23:32

Ex primary school teacher here.

Sorry to say it but I just used to make up who star of the week was when the list came round to my classroom and I was usually in a mad rush in the morning before assembly, so never time to look back and see who had had it so far that year!!

It's really not that deep.

Really not that deep for you. Shame that as a teacher, you fail to see the impact it has on the children you are teaching.

No doubt this is what my DC's reception teacher thought and so some children received certificates 4-5 times over the year and others not once.

Just not good enough. If it is that much of a chore to do, ask your school to get rid of it

AuroraCake · 23/09/2023 19:22

It's dead easy. Touvhave a class list and you tick them off when they get it. It isn't hard. Some get it because they deserve it and some get it because they have to. It matters to the kids though however if it may seem an annoyance to us teachers.

Iwasafool · 23/09/2023 22:14

CaptainMyCaptain · 22/09/2023 21:54

But there's no point complaining to this teacher about previous teachers.

Show quote history

It is information that the teacher probably would like to know. Doesn't have to be a complaint.

silvertoil · 23/09/2023 22:16

Always assumed teachers had a list to make sure everyone in the class got it at least once in the year?!

caban · 23/09/2023 22:19

His name has probably just been missed off a list or something. I'd ask the teacher to make sure he gets a certificate asap.

AnnieMay55 · 23/09/2023 22:35

When I was teaching I had a class list to tick off each week to make sure everyone had a turn. I remember one parents evening a parent told me their child had never been chosen and I was mortified. Slip ups happen. Maybe I'd ticked their name instead of someone else. We were also so rushed in the morning and would suddenly remember it when we were trying to get the children lined up for assembly, that there was the chance we could forget to tick the list. I think if it was me, depending on how your child is really feeling about it, I may wait until next term to mention it, but I wouldn't let it go on any longer.

flustereddriver75 · 24/09/2023 07:06

DiaryOfaTTCer · 22/09/2023 23:32

Ex primary school teacher here.

Sorry to say it but I just used to make up who star of the week was when the list came round to my classroom and I was usually in a mad rush in the morning before assembly, so never time to look back and see who had had it so far that year!!

It's really not that deep.

Not acceptable, no. I do get that workload issues cause this constant mad rush (and perhaps why you're an ex teacher) but if a teacher is honestly this lacking in empathy about how much the rewards affect children then I'd struggle to see how they would be doing an effective job in other areas. Relating to and understanding all of the kids in your class is central and like it or not, these rewards to matter.

Bankholidayboredom23 · 24/09/2023 07:33

In year 2 I questioned the teacher about this as my DC was becoming despondent about behaving so well and naughty kids getting star of the week. The teacher said they pull the names out of a hat and then try and think of something that child has done to use as the reason.

ColleenDonaghy · 24/09/2023 08:19

Definitely speak to the teacher. It's not their fault he never got it last year, but there's an easy remedy and getting it early in the year may be an extra boost for him.

I can well see my eldest falling into the forgettable box. Only in P2 so we'll see, but if she notices I will be saying it.

morechocolateneededtoday · 24/09/2023 09:29

I think advice from @outerlope qnd all those who’ve said similar is perfect. Just bring it up informally that he’s been missed out since he started school and he feels increasingly demoralised. She’s not at fault the previous teachers did a rubbish job but I’m sure she would be glad to know and have the opportunity to fix it

Mischance · 24/09/2023 09:37

My 2 youngest GC are often sporting the Child of the Week stickers when I pick them up. I praise them and look pleased, but I often wonder about the others - these two are very bright and well-behaved (at school!) so none of it is a challenge for them. I feel for those who have less talent and need a boost.

Original poster
Raisinsandweetabix · 24/09/2023 22:09

Mischance · 24/09/2023 09:37

My 2 youngest GC are often sporting the Child of the Week stickers when I pick them up. I praise them and look pleased, but I often wonder about the others - these two are very bright and well-behaved (at school!) so none of it is a challenge for them. I feel for those who have less talent and need a boost.

How rude?? You feel for those with 'less talent' it's not about talent it's about trying your best but you already know that, you're either a troll or a nasty bragging idiot

OP posts:
DobbyTheHouseElk · 24/09/2023 22:12

At my Dc school they had a kindness award. My friend and I noticed pretty quickly it was awarded to bullies who hadn’t hit or punched anyone that week!!!!!

Whitewolf2 · 25/09/2023 21:09

I wish there was no star of the day in any setting (school clubs included). It always seems the easy going kids are overlooked, but they do get upset when for months they don’t get it.

buttercupcake · 25/09/2023 21:18

We had this in primary school. I found that it upset me a lot more than it did the kids, once I realised this I let it go. When they were older, year 4 and above, if they mentioned not getting star of the week, I explained how it’s important to try your best and work hard for yourself, not for any other reason.

It’s nice for their efforts to be acknowledged & rewarded, but in my experience the squeakiest wheels gets the most oil. The kids who get star of the week several times a year must need it to encourage them. Just try and feel glad that yours don’t.

Mumwithbaggage · 25/09/2023 21:32

I'm a teacher and in assembly today saw a tough little lad cross his finger behind his back in the hope his raffle ticket for good work/behaviour would be picked from the tin. It really matters to some children. It was by the way :)

My own son won Star of the Week in Yr R and I asked what in particular he'd done. "Oh, it's easy. You don't do much till Wednesday then you try really hard and you're very polite." I kid you not.

Mumwithbaggage · 25/09/2023 21:33

I loathe choosing by the way.

Mumwithbaggage · 25/09/2023 21:37

Well-known teacher time saving hack is to write all the names on a certificate at the beginning of the year so you know everyone has received it - just come up with a good reason for each child. Does kind of make it as perfunctory as the thank you on a till receipt in one way, but in another, no child misses out.

Traceability · 25/09/2023 22:25

I'm a teacher and I have had a few parents over the years mention this to me and I'm completely fine with it. To be honest, I may forget where I'm up to or I have lost my list and have forgotten. Sometimes I dilly dally over who to give star of the week to so I'm happy to have a child in mind - most of the time we choose a child and just think of something they have done that week that can make them feel special. Just tell the teacher in a nice way. Though I have awarded it 2 weeks later as feels a bit contrived to do it the same week!

Iwasafool · 26/09/2023 08:50

Mumwithbaggage · 25/09/2023 21:37

Well-known teacher time saving hack is to write all the names on a certificate at the beginning of the year so you know everyone has received it - just come up with a good reason for each child. Does kind of make it as perfunctory as the thank you on a till receipt in one way, but in another, no child misses out.

That's a brilliant idea.

BoohooWoohoo · 26/09/2023 09:02

I have had to "remind" my child's teacher by May half term that they hadn't received Star of the Week that year so that they miraculously won it the following week. With 30 in a class and at least 2 winning every week my child should win at least once a year imo. They don't need to win as often as the kids with behavioural issues but once a year would do the self esteem well.
Very sad that your son didn't win in Reception or year 1 either. My kids cottoned on in year 2 that schemes like that aren't really aimed at them and that it would be easy to win the reward if they alternates good and bad behaviour which is a hassle.

Princessfluffy · 26/09/2023 09:06

I'm sad for all the children who behave well and go under the radar, getting little attention from the teacher.