Looking for an amazing private primary

[mudandbuttons]

So now that two education experts have told me that the kind of school I'm looking for doesn't exist, I thought it was time to turn to mumsnet...

My DS is 7, about to start Y3, and we are looking to move him from the state primary where he currently is, into the private sector. He is crazily bright for his age, if we were in America, I guess he'd be 'gifted and talented' (top 3% in a recent WHISC test - I'm not being smug, just setting the scene). Recently diagnosed ASC and ADHD, he masks it all at school and is incredibly diligent and conscientious: sits still, does his work, tows the line, top of the class. But at a cost to his mental health, meltdowns at home and close to burn out.

He needs a school that will allow him to fulfill his academic potential without stressing him out in the meantime. Small classes, lots of personal attention, lots of physical activity and being out outdoors in nature, preferably around animals, a varied and challenging curriculum with minimal stressful competitive situations.

Is there a school out there for him?! Or am I mad?

We are currently in Buckinghamshire but ready to relocate, so any suggestions for West London (we used to live in Hammersmith and would happily move back). Or maybe somewhere coastal. I also have family in Gloucestershire. Open to all suggestions, we want to spread the net wide in order to find the right place.

We also have a younger son in Year 1, who ideally would go to the same school. Particularly, though not exclusively, interested in all-through schools, to avoid the disruption of moving again later down the line.

Help!

Bredon ticks a lot of your boxes although it's real speciality is dyslexia but I'm pretty sure they dealmwith other issues.

@Arthurskeeper I'm making it my top priority from next week onwards. We also really need to narrow down where we would be happy to relocate to, if we do end up relocating. As a few people have said on this thread it's important it works for the whole family. And we also need to bear in mind suitable secondary schools in the area, if it doesn't end up being an all-through school. It feels completely overwhelming at this point, but I'm hoping that as soon as we actually visit a few schools it will feel less so.

@listsandbudgets it does sound like an interesting school if we choose to go the specialist route. I've actually already contacted them and they require school reports and diagnostic reports before you even look round, I suppose to see if it's appropriate for your child. So we'll soon know whether it's one viable option.

Have you looked at Abbotsholme? It's one of the only schools in the UK on a working farm. Very small and nurturing and some children with ASD who thrive there.

@Nightmanagerfan no I haven't heard of it. Thanks for the recommendation I'll have a look at it.

@mudandbuttons I do including one with ASD.

Not sure where are you in Bucks, but if you are the South End, Claires Court in Maidenhead might be good for your son. My friend has a son who sounds very similar to yours, super bright and neurodiverse, very well behaved (mainly because of anxiety about breaking rules). They have been amazing with her son and he’s thrived.

Thank you @BlueShoeTwo I will check it out. It sounds great

I have two neurodiverse kids at academic private schools and they are very supportive

@babybird123 I disagree all private schools want NT children. Most super selective academic schools now have very good neurodiversity support (because not uncommon to get super bright children with ASD). A lot of non-academic private schools are actively targeting the neurodiverse/mild SEN market. Children who are bright, quirky but would not cope in a class of 30. The main thing tends to be behaviour. If a child’s disability causes aggression, outbursts then a large proportion of private schools will decline entry. If they are well behaved, bright, but need a lot of pastoral support then these schools will admit, because they have the staff to allow this.