What are state primaries like nowadays?

[questiano]

I've got DC due to start reception next year. My question is what state primaries are like nowadays. I was at school around 30 years ago so not sure what might have changed.

I was at a 'nice' state primary in a relatively well to do area and the one local to us now would fit that brief too (under 10% pupil premium).

But I had a terrible experience. I was bullied mercilessly which the head did nothing about despite my parents constantly complaining, behaviour was awful, no extra curricular or afterschool clubs except music lessons, big classes with years lumped together, I was bullied by a teacher for a year, made to feel stupid with my confidence wrecked. Teachers had favourites who got all the best places eg in sports teams and school plays. I struggled to make friends and fell out with people all the time as we weren't taught emotional intelligence around friendships. I could go on!

Although I am a very well adjusted adult now with a good social life, through my teens and 20s I was mostly suicidal with loads of self harm, eating disorders and depression. I think my school experiences drove that.

Obviously I don't want this experience for my kids. Are state primaries better nowadays at meeting children's needs and giving them good opportunities?

I get it OP I was bullied at primary school and still feel the effects. My kids went to a London primary school and were extremely happy though. I think schools are generally more nurturing now and much hotter on bullying than they used to be. You will get a good feel when you look round, really do listen to your gut when you make your choice.

My DC go to a tiny village primary (sub-50 pupils in total, spread across 2 classes). Many MNs have a real hatred of small state schools, but my DC are thriving there. We have 1 teacher & 2 TAs in one class (for less than 20 children), & 1 teacher & 1 TA in the other class (for less than 30 children). This means there is a lot of individual attention & support. There are lots of pros & cons to small schools, less after school activities but more joint activities like swimming every week from Yr3. Everyone participates in plays & sports - no lobsters/trees or not getting picked because your aren't semi professional/PE/ teacher's favourite etc.
Honestly, visit lots of schools, go with an open mind to each, try not to let preconceived conceptions cloud your judgement; ask lots of questions, & you will mostly get a 'feel' for the school & which will suit your children.

@questiano we will probably keep her in state primary, but move to private secondary. That said, it will all depend on how we feel she is progressing around Y3 / Y4.

Ok, mine does 3 clubs a week (gardening club, football club, and normal ASC which is free play - he could do art club etc but doesn’t want to). He has enough support (one of the things school teaches them is independence). They taught him to read with minimal input from us (on turquoise band at end of Y1). Lots of languages and music tuition. He has friends. Everyone seems to know him, headteacher, school receptionist, other teachers, the lot. He is very happy in school.

Downsides - they aren’t great at teaching maths or science (I do extra with him), and discipline seems to involve sitting out of break, which I don’t necessarily agree with for a five year old.

Absolutely awful. All those pesky SEND and Pupil Premium kids. Wouldn't touch with a barge pole personally.

Do you do constructive advice at all or just return at intervals to sneer at the op? 🙄

I'm not sneering at the OP. I am sneering at all the people judging schools on their %age of PPP and SEND pupils.

My granddaughter started at a state primary last September. Her mother was going to put her into a local prep at 7 however, she has made excellent progress and is very happy where she is. As far as DD is aware, no dressing gowns or punch ups at pick up. DD is delighted at the thought of all the money she will save if this continues.

I think I understand what your asking as I felt the same....

Purely my own personal experience (my DD starts school this year) and obviously all schools are different, good and bad everywhere etc etc but from what I've seen there is more emphasis on kindness and inclusion now.

For example in DDs school there is a quiet reading area in the play ground - I would have loved that as a child who wasn't sporty, there is more emphasis on confidence building and celebrating being yourself. A lot of effort is made to settle children in, they are assigned a buddy from year 4, and have settling in sessions which I never had.

My first school in particular though was very authoritarian, I remember being very frightened of some of the teachers so I really hope that isn't the norm now.