What are state primaries like nowadays?

[questiano]

I've got DC due to start reception next year. My question is what state primaries are like nowadays. I was at school around 30 years ago so not sure what might have changed.

I was at a 'nice' state primary in a relatively well to do area and the one local to us now would fit that brief too (under 10% pupil premium).

But I had a terrible experience. I was bullied mercilessly which the head did nothing about despite my parents constantly complaining, behaviour was awful, no extra curricular or afterschool clubs except music lessons, big classes with years lumped together, I was bullied by a teacher for a year, made to feel stupid with my confidence wrecked. Teachers had favourites who got all the best places eg in sports teams and school plays. I struggled to make friends and fell out with people all the time as we weren't taught emotional intelligence around friendships. I could go on!

Although I am a very well adjusted adult now with a good social life, through my teens and 20s I was mostly suicidal with loads of self harm, eating disorders and depression. I think my school experiences drove that.

Obviously I don't want this experience for my kids. Are state primaries better nowadays at meeting children's needs and giving them good opportunities?

Yep lots of cut backs in my siblings primary, staff not being replaced, less TAs and only for those 1:1 no class TA anymore. No supply teachers as no budget. No money for resources. Deprived area too but budget still not enough.

@questiano good question. He is very proud of his school and I’m lucky I’ve made some nice local friends with some other parents.

He loves going to school and they are very supportive of the SEN issues he has, which not all private schools are.

I feel I’ve made the right choice for my child and I know I’m very lucky to be able to afford it. I would visit your local schools and get a feel. Personally I’d try to go in the normal day rather than an open morning.

Disillusioned now with ours. Nice primary with good reputation with around 5% of kids coming from a rough area that's included in catchment. Without fail those kids cause disruption in every class in the school and judging by the comments those same parents make in the class WhatsApp groups it's clear where that behaviour comes from. Lack of funding (see 'nice school') means teachers are constantly managing their appalling behaviour.
DS8 is behind due to lockdown and 2 years of probation teachers and we're now looking at the private route which I'm sad about but I can't see how things will improve.

Daft question. It depends on the school obviously.

I'm really happy with our school so far (state school, one-form entry). Our child is in reception.

She is happy to go in each day, they seem to do a range of activities/projects to keep learning interesting throughout the school. Interesting school trips and school visitors.

They have breakfast club and after school club as well as different sports clubs, which change each term.

Our school isn't in a really affluent area, but not super disadvantaged either - a bit of a mix I think!

I was a bit overwhelmed when thinking about schools, but going on a tour really did help. Ask lots of questions and you'll get a good feel for the school and whether it will suit your child. We are passing another school with higher Ofsted to get to ours, but much preferred this one when looking round.

Sorry, I should have added - I do think all state schools are struggling funding-wise. Our school have a really good PTA that runs lots of events, and we try to get involved as much as possible to help out, but they really shouldn't need to be having to fundraise as much as they do!

I would agree with the poster above who said (kindly!) not to project your own experience. I think all schools are far more aware of mental health and bullying than they were 20 years ago.

My anecdotal evidence is that we love the village primary DS2 attends. He loves it too and is doing well. It’s small, so there isn’t a huge variety of clubs though.

I had no choice really, it's our nearest school, but I also knew enough about school snobbery to know it is often completely unfounded and to know 'less desirable' schools ofen get additional funding and support to help them improve (both parents and a sibling are teachers). But yes, I could also tell it was a school my DS would enjoy - in contrast to his very desirable infant school which was in reality the most boring, uninspiring school.

I also had other schools to compare it to. We moved house after my first DS started school but because of the age gap between my kids and the fact we have separate infant and junior schools in our area, we weren't eligible for sibling places. This means my kids have gone to different schools. My eldest has been to two of the most desirable schools in our area, and as I say, youngest went to desirable infants. The school my youngest is at now is hands down the best of them all, but people still look a bit sad for me when I say where he goes!!

My child goes to a one form entry primary.
There's an after school every night. These are run by outside companies and you pay.
They have outside people come in and run workshops and lessons eg an artic explorer talking about their experiences, rap workshop, orienteering but again you pay (normally around £2.50).
There's a pastoral lead. My child was in a fight after someone hit their friend. They were allowed to sit in a tent with a friend to calm down. Then talk about what happened and a consequence was decided. I think that was a fair way to deal with it.
So overall it's good. But you pay for the extras

I had a similar experience to you at school and one thing I've found is that it all comes flooding back when your children start school and it can be hard not to project that. Schools still smell and look the same as 30 years ago. I have to manage my own anxiety when I do anything school related not my kids.

For my kids they love school. They offer clubs every day (£30 a term per club) and lots of activities in the day, every other week is a different event or theme. We do get asked to pay for most activities. It's a small one form entry and every class has a TA that we get to know better than the teacher. It's an outstanding school so there's a huge amount of push on maths and phonics right from the start they bring a bag of flashcards home to memorise and my kids do extra phonics provision for 20mins before school starts, provided for free. They don't really seem to do much music and art and there's no celebration of creativity or mention of it at parents evening, which I find is a shame because my kids are more creative than academic but we just make sure we make up for that at home. There's high staff turnover and most of the teachers are newly qualified, but they are very keen and enthusiastic and always turn up in fancy dress for all the various days and events. My kids love their teachers and are always so disappointed when they leave but that's how it seems to be at the moment.

My one loved PS, an inner-city one. There was a safeguarding problem with one of my child's teachers, the kids didn't feel safe, so they went to the assistant headteacher to tell him they were scared, and the AH responded immediately. I was seriously impressed. (Parents concerns were dismissed up to that point, but the kids got the teacher suspended). That was a blip, all the other teachers did their absolute best by the children.

The support staff and office staff were also brilliant, and the kids respected them. Behaviour issues were nipped in the bud quickly. OFSTED (for all it's worth) said it was a good school. My daughter still looks on her experience fondly, and she's in Y11 now.

I'm sorry you had such a traumatic school experience. I think that your DC about to start is triggering. I would say schools will have changed significantly since your day in so much as bullying policies and procedures, safeguarding etc. Like others say, when you go round a visit your options you will get a good sense of each school and hopefully 'the feeling' for one or more of them. Best of luck.

I've done got one DD just finishing year 7 and one DD in year 3 who both attend/ed the same primary - 2 form entry. Even over that time the school has changed considerably, so what you start with might not be what you end up with. The school has an assistant head teacher for inclusion and wellbeing, recognising that this is a growing area where children are needing support. They follow the leader in me programme to put emphasis on personal development and accountability, which then supports learning and behaviour across the school.
Know that primaries are still dealing with kids who have gaps in education due to COVID - my year 3 child missed half of reception and had a patchy year 1 and consequently the spread of educational ability is much wider than usual. DD8 has had 3 great teachers and one iffy one so far, which was better than DD11, who had 4 iffy and 3 good (for them at least and they may have been great teachers for others).
I've found that parenting/attitudes towards education, much like many parts of society are becoming increasingly polarised. Some parents will be very supportive of their children, ask questions about school, do the reading at home etc, others seem to think school are responsible for it all and to parent their children too at times - you're going to get a mix! Our year 3 WhatsApp blew up after school communicated the PSHE topics for summer term which include anatomy of bodies and how babies develop. It was an eye opener - not so much the difference if opinions, but the anger which accompanied the opinion/lack of respect for others opinions from some quarters.

All that said the kids have been happy, although it took DD11 a bit of time to settle as most of the kids (and parents) knew each other as they all went to the school nursery and had already established friendships. DD11 left and confidently moved to secondary well prepared, which I think was a decent outcome.

I was being sarcastic. We’ve had a super experience with the state sector. Admittedly, some are dire but asking a question like that is akin to how long is a piece of string. It’s nonsensical. Go for a school with motivated, invested parents and you can’t go too far wrong.

We are very lucky my 2DC go to a small primary in our large village which is part of a larger academy group. They have enough staff that each class haves a FT teacher and TA as well as 2 pe staff who also take groups for interventions and small group activities to encourage confidence and resilience. They also have use of a CBT therapist one day a week from the trust and a full time learning mentor and senco (doesn't have a class just goes where needed). Resource wise all the basics are covered but I am aware that teachers pay for 'extras' such as powder paint to have a colour run and treats for end of term.

However I am also linked to another school in the same village whose budget is constantly stretched to the point of deficit they have to rely on TA's to cover teaching and teachers buy basis stationary pens etc for there classes as the money still isn't there. This school is not part of an academy.

But both schools have very good reputations locally and are always over subscribed.

We actually picked the non academy as our first choice but didn't get it due to distance as loved the feel of the school and the passion the headteacher had.

The dads probably dont wear dressing gowns as they're not practical for fighting in

Thank you @LittleMonks11 that's very kind

@SStarlet that level of support sounds brilliant

DCs school has an amazing senco and two ELSAs, great for DS who just had a couple of issues around lockdown. For year 2 DD with SEN, her class has a ECT teacher and no TA and there just isn't enough support, currently battling the council for an EHCP but not convinced that'll help. Some of DD's classmates probably don't get the attention they deserve as she's one of 3 ( that I know of) in her class with additional needs plus there's a couple of children who are so far behind they can barely read and a new child who can't speak English.

I've had to pull out DD from her school which has a 24 percent pupil premium. She's been attending since she was 3 at the attached nursery. It was fine they were a bit neglectful educationally I had to pay for dyslexia assessments, extra tuition and she's fine in that sense. I only kept her there because she had good friend's. This year ,year 5 I think the boys have got hold of porn, they talk about their bits all day and are starting to be degrading towards the girls.

They draw pictures of dicks all over the bathroom and urinate all over it. Theres no screentime restrictions or internet restrictions. Every teacher has left after teaching dds class. A boy shouted the N word in the playground, it's like a zoo and the parents are shit. Teachers can't be expected to parent the kids. I feel sorry for the teachers.

Her new school has 8 percent pupil premium and when we went for a visit. The children were just quiet learning it was like night and day.

Ok, so DD started in reception at a two form primary in September.

We went back and forth between state and private. Sadly, however, I think the case remains that state schools are underfunded, class sizes are too large and there is not enough support for SEN children, which can be at times to the detriment of the learning of other children if there are behavioural issues. (I'll probably get shot for that).

I don't feel DD gets enough individual learning time - her reading books are not challenging enough, for example. I do a lot of outside classroom learning to extend and stretch her.

@florenceandthemutt do you think you'll move her to private?

Thanks for all the responses which have been really helpful. Some reassuring experiences! But also a good dose of reality- helps me to think about what other support we could supplement with eg access to tutors or extracurricular outside of school.

I've asked on local Facebook about the nearest school but waiting for admin to approve my post. Will ask people I know with kids there too but will mostly have to wait for September when all the local schools start their tours. Your responses have helped me to think about what sort of questions to ask when we do start looking round.

My children's school is about 50% pupil premium which I think has been really beneficial in terms of shielding it a bit from the funding cuts.

We live in a 'deprived' area. But saying that, the Catholic school my kids go to have only a few pupils who qualify for pupil premium. It's not a glossy looking school but is the most diverse school in the wider area (we are BAME). It's an amazing school imo. I'd never have considered it if we weren't Catholic (it's a bit of a drive away but our church is right across the road, so we see many of DC's friends and teachers at church on Sundays). There aren't many issues with bullying (DH has several nieces and nephews attending the school, and I've heard from them that the head comes down hard on bullying). This school is rated 'good'. My son got targeted help when he fell behind the class.

I've family in other local 'outstanding' schools that are a bit rougher around the edges (parents fighting in the playground, social media issues) but my family feel the quality of education is generally good.

Now, secondary schools around here... not good AT ALL!!