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Primary education

Join our Primary Education forum to discuss starting school and helping your child get the most out of it.

Original poster

What are state primaries like nowadays?

84 replies

questiano · 20/05/2023 14:55

I've got DC due to start reception next year. My question is what state primaries are like nowadays. I was at school around 30 years ago so not sure what might have changed.

I was at a 'nice' state primary in a relatively well to do area and the one local to us now would fit that brief too (under 10% pupil premium).

But I had a terrible experience. I was bullied mercilessly which the head did nothing about despite my parents constantly complaining, behaviour was awful, no extra curricular or afterschool clubs except music lessons, big classes with years lumped together, I was bullied by a teacher for a year, made to feel stupid with my confidence wrecked. Teachers had favourites who got all the best places eg in sports teams and school plays. I struggled to make friends and fell out with people all the time as we weren't taught emotional intelligence around friendships. I could go on!

Although I am a very well adjusted adult now with a good social life, through my teens and 20s I was mostly suicidal with loads of self harm, eating disorders and depression. I think my school experiences drove that.

Obviously I don't want this experience for my kids. Are state primaries better nowadays at meeting children's needs and giving them good opportunities?

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Original poster
questiano · 20/05/2023 18:03

@Jumpingjellycats yep I just thought of that a moment ago and will ask for thoughts.

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Grumpyfroghats · 20/05/2023 18:06

I am happy with my children's state primary.

There are five clubs after school which change every term - mine has done gymnastics, football, gardening, art, board games. There is also after school club which runs later and offers a mix of activities and some quiet space for kids who want to chill out.

My kids are really happy to go to school and have made friends. The staff seem to know all the children's names.

The teachers do a lot of differentiation in class, some kids are still working on the basics and they get different work to the others. My year 1 child is now reading independently on his own, he can write a page, he is working on times tables. I am sure he would be doing more advanced things in a private school but I am happy with how he is doing educationally

nicedaydoreen · 20/05/2023 18:13

Lovely supportive environment very happy children, multiple clubs, very nice parents.
It's also a small village school in an affluent area with parents who are well educated.
It's not outstanding just good on Ofsted. Because it probably doesn't tick a few boxes. But the children do academically very well and can all have a part in the school play etc. Never heard a sware word from child or parent no dressing gown wearing parents and no aggression.
It depends on the school completely and area where you live, do not go of Ofsted actually look at results and the school.

ParentsTrapped · 20/05/2023 18:17

My DC is at an “outstanding” (as of 2013 and no inspection since!) school
in zone 3 London. Very happy so far - kids all seem happy and well behaved. DC settled in really well and lots of lovely friends, skips into school each day.

Lots of clubs available and “enrichment” - cooking, sports, music, visits from theatres and musicians etc.

Class is massive (over 30) and DC doesn’t get much individual attention - eg I see from reading diary that she hasn’t read to a teacher for over a week now - but is reading v well for her age so suspect just isn’t a priority. Her happiness is the main thing that matters to me for now.

twistyizzy · 20/05/2023 18:19

DD was at small rural village that was very supportive etc BUT some serious safeguarding issues that were just swept under the carpet. The year DD left it became an academy, most TAs were sacked but big building project commenced.
Basically all state education is in trouble with lack of investment etc. Ofsted reports aren't worth the paper they are written on so take them with a massive pinch of salt. Visit the schools, ask the questions that matter to you and really scrutinise the Headteachers etc

twistyizzy · 20/05/2023 18:24

There is currently a thread titled "What cuts have your school made?". Would recommend you read it to identify the issues all schools are currently face. They are cutting support staff, TAs, cooks, cleaners etc. This gives you a very good picture of the current state of education.

Twilightstarbright · 20/05/2023 18:30

@questiano he adores it and goes running in everyday.

Original poster
questiano · 20/05/2023 18:31

@Grumpyfroghats that sounds perfect! If I could send my kids somewhere like that I'd be thrilled

@ParentsTrapped agree about the happiness. I'm not as bothered about the education side as I wasn't massively academic and would never have benefitted from being pushed academically but the most important thing for me is my kids to be happy and ready for the world at the end of school with self belief and social skills (as far as they are able). Do your kids get a lot of access to enrichment activities or do the big class sizes mean clubs get full quickly?

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MagpieSong · 20/05/2023 18:32

I definitely agree with going into schools to view them. I moved just before DS started primary, so ended up looking in two areas. In the first one, one of the schools was huge and really loud/chaotic feeling. It was nice enough, but I just felt DS would have been a bit overwhelmed. Another was just quite cold feeling and I wasn’t keen on them at all, while another was just really welcoming and I felt he would have been very settled there. As it happened, we then moved, but I definitely learnt a lot from the process. State schools are underfunded, but you still get some much better than others and, on top of that, one you feel will fit your child better than the others. The one I chose originally was undersubscribed, they’d recently changed Head and we’re going from strength to strength. You wouldn’t have known off the paperwork, so I was really glad we went in. Everyone else we knew at his nursery picked the loud, chaotic one, so it obviously really appealed to them for their children.

Original poster
questiano · 20/05/2023 18:34

@twistyizzy I've just seen that. It's so awful. I work in public sector (obv not education!) so understand the pressure. It's so sad and I wish there could be a solution (aside from as mentioned up thread the need to vote Tories out)

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Original poster
questiano · 20/05/2023 18:35

@MagpieSong i really want to look around but they don't have open days until Sept and I don't think they would do a random tour as we aren't new to the area and not looking for a space til next year. Come September though I will be at every open day in the area without fail!!

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Original poster
questiano · 20/05/2023 18:39

@Twilightstarbright sorry to keep asking questions! But how much do you feel the school is part of his identity? Like when I think of going to school it was like this tiresome place I was forced to go to everyday and I didn't feel like I belonged. I just wanted to get the day done and come home to my 'real' life! I get the impression some preps are more home from home or are often sold as 'we're a family here' and just wondered if that is the reality or if even tho the kids enjoy going it's still just a means to the end at the end of the day.

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CLEO42 · 20/05/2023 18:42

You could ask about primaries in your area on your local Facebook page. You'll get a lot of info

PuttingDownRoots · 20/05/2023 18:45

My DDs have attended 5 Primary schools.

They all had their positives and negatives. One common factor... they all had teachers that cared.

Different schools and different teachers suit different children. Even the best teacher in the world doesn't suit every pupil. I saw this with DD... I could tell the teacher was good at her job, but DD just didn't thrive in that class.

If the pupils look happy, it's likely to be a positive environment.

CurlewKate · 20/05/2023 18:45

Awful. Knives. Drugs. Gangs. Nobody leaves able to read. Just terrible.

planthelpadvice · 20/05/2023 18:46

My DS goes to a fantastic state primary. Historically it's been the least favoured in our small "niace" leafy home counties town and there was a lot of snobbery about it, but it's awesome. A really lively, engaging hands on curriculum, seems to be money for improvements (a brand new science center and lots of new playground equipment while my son has been there), enthusiastic and caring teachers, loads of lunchtime and after school clubs to choose from - my DS genuinely does 3 - 2 sports and one other. I love it!

NaturalBlondeYeahRight · 20/05/2023 18:50

I work in a relatively 'poor catchment' school but it is great. Good pastoral care, involved staff and safeguarding is much, much better than it was back in the day. We all know each other and most children. Some clubs and after school care.
My main advice is go and have a look and get a feel. Also if it doesn't work, just move your child to another school! Primary age children are mostly very flexible and happy for change if you are, especially in key stage 1. We moved house when mine were in ks2 with no issues so don't just stick with it if it feels wrong.

KleineDracheKokosnuss · 20/05/2023 18:58

My kids are at a city primary (not London). I’m really pleased. The staff know the children and support them. The atmosphere at the school is positive and happy. The teachers take action if there are problems between children and the education provided is fun and engaging. I’m incredibly happy I picked the school.

In terms of clubs - there are multiple to choose from, but at lunchtime and after school. Wrap around provision is well planned and my kids ask to go.

BettySundaes · 20/05/2023 18:58

If your only comparison is your own school 30 years ago you'll probably find things are much improved, but once you've been in the system for a while plenty of cracks will show.

KleineDracheKokosnuss · 20/05/2023 19:00

Also - and I know it’s hard because I was bullied and struggle with it too - it’s really important to try not to project what happened to you onto the schools you see. It’s taken me literally years to properly draw a line in my kind between my schooling and what my kids are getting.

Mintearo7 · 20/05/2023 20:30

DS is in reception and his school has an inclusion lead and well-being room for kids who are going through emotional difficulties. DS has never had to use it but I’m glad they have the provisions. It is a very large primary in an affluent area, but a high number of English as additional language pupils. Comparing to when I went to school they cover mindfulness techniques and have certificates and prizes for absolutely everything. They are pushed more academically and socially but get praised every step of the way.

SamPoodle123 · 20/05/2023 21:15

I think it depends on your area. Our state primary is great, although not as fast paced as my dc would like. But they are doing well there and happy. I can not imagine any bullying going on, but yes there can be some mean behaviour.

Original poster
questiano · 20/05/2023 21:39

@planthelpadvice what made you choose it? Did you just have an instinct it was a better fit than the others in the area?

@KleineDracheKokosnuss that sounds brilliant. Exactly what I'm hoping for

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IhearyouClemFandango · 20/05/2023 21:43

Ours is lovely. Like an extension of the family home.

One form entry village school.

Lcb123 · 20/05/2023 21:57

Every school is different-you’d be much better to ask on a local FB group so you can get specific feedback.