Relocating back to the UK son 5 so far behind

[MrsG2017]

Hi Everyone,

I would really appreciate your advice. We have just (today) sold our house in NZ and will be landing back in London on 5th December. We will be staying in surrey for a few weeks but won't be buying or renting a property there but will likely move to either Gloucestershire or Lincolnshire.

I am so so worried about my son it brings me to tears. He was 5 in April and the NZ school system is so behind. I have been working full time since he was 6 months and i feel like i have let him down.

He can only just count to 20, he can write his name but nothing else and is only in the first stages of his phonics reading. I am so very sad that he will be so far behind his UK peers.

I'm not sure what I can do as if we don't have an address, I can't register him for school and I'm conscious the uk term starts back on the 3rd of Jan. If i were to register him for a school in surrey where we will be for a few weeks, then he will have to move again.

Sorry i would love to know if anyone has been through this or is in education and has any advice. He is a lovely boy so very active and not very focused on his "learning" we really struggle to get him to focus it is such a concern.

Thank you I will stop waffling now!

He's 5, chill out. Seriously

Really?

He'll be fine

He will pick up quickly as age helps a lot. Try not to worry as you have a lot to sort. By this time next year this will be a non issue. Just take one step at a time.

He’ll be fine.

He’s five, he’ll be fine. I moved to the UK as a non-reading eight year old who didn’t speak a word of English. The first few weeks were a bit weird, but it didn’t slow my reading progression etc.

He's five. Seriously it sounds like you are diverting your general anxiety about relocating to him. Most kids in the world haven't started any formal education by the time they are five. UK kids aren't cleverer than all these kids just because they were told to sit down and learn to read and write at a younger age. Your kid will be fine.

We lived in an area of England where children started school the term after their 5th birthday so my son was due to start in the September. We moved in June to an area where children started school in the September after their 4th birthday so as a July birthday, my son missed most of his Reception year.

However, he had been to a school based nursery part time for almost a year and had a good grounding in recognising letters, counting, colours etc. So he had four weeks of school in the summer term with children who had already been at school for almost a full year and I will admit he really struggled. Fortunately the school made provision for this the following year and he had extra support from the SEN teacher to help him catch up. I think he was still behind though until he was in Year 3, socially as well as academically.

I'm a KS1 teacher. If he's just turned 5 that is Reception age and what he can do is perfectly normal for the first term of Reception. He doesn't sound behind at all. They may have started to write letters and simple words but there will be many who haven't picked it up yet.

Oops, misread that he was 5 in April so should be in Year 1. Counting etc you can work on at home as well as stuff like basic letter formation. I would concentrate on research for where you will love so the delay on him starting school won't be too long.

Gaps in learning aside he is compulsory school age in the UK so as far as I understand it will need to be either registered with a school or registered as home schooled pretty soon after arriving. If you are still working and therefore don't have the time now could you find an online tutor several times a week to try and plug those gaps now?

He's where he should be for that age in nz/aus

I really would try not to be too anxious. I would consider using the Nessy learning suite of apps and their reading program, as many days as you can and for 10-20 minutes each time.

Otherwise, he will catch up. Just make the school aware that he's come from a system where he wouldn't have even begun school until February. They know that children coming from outside need to catch up.

Honestly chill.

kids that age are sponges and the Uk school system is geared towards getting very small children away from their parents to facilitate working. In many countries with better state funded childcare kids don’t start formal learning til 6 or 7 and they still complete high school as well rounded intelligent adults.

please don’t pile pressure on him.
moving wil be unsettling enough. Focus on social skills and developing friendships, the academic stuff will follow suit

We moved to NZ 11 years ago when my son was 6. If anything he was behind the NZ kids who'd been in school less time than him. He soon picked things up. He's had his last day at school today and is off to Otago university next year so obviously no long term issues.

Try not to worry, if you worry about it so will your child. Do some fun stuff, learn songs, go on scavenger hunts, read books together. It will be all good.

I’ve been through something similar for our youngest. She is way behind in the US and struggling. The testing performed by school identified what they think is dyslexia. Something isn’t right but evaluations will tell us what the problem is.

I have set her up with daily skills drill with the sitter. Hired a lovely college grad who is fun and is able to play with her to get through spellings, alphabet, numbers and phonics. At school she is pulled out twice a week for support. I highly recommend doing something similar.

If you start now I’d think you could make a fair bit of headway before January tbh. Get reading scheme books off eBay if you can. Lots of resources for maths etc, and he’d learn so much quicker with one to one anyway. (Doesn’t have to be long sessions at all if he struggles to focus, just five minutes here and there, counting/counting games in the car etc). He’ll be fine I’m sure

We get children arrive like this all the time, the rest of the world starts school later so anyone moving from abroad goes through this. Please don't let him know how anxious you are and if you are really worried you could download 'teach your monster to read.' He'll be absolutely fine.

I disagree about the scheme books, you have no idea what scheme he will be doing at his new school and these boring books can end up doing more damage by knocking confidence and making reading a dull chore. Online phonics games are great, we use topmarks, ICT games, teach your monster to read and I'd really recommend busy things (this one needs a subscription but I use it most days when teaching).

The NZ school system is not 'behind' - it's just different from what you're used to.
Some might argue it's actually progressive not to be drilling little five year olds and assessing them but rather letting them play...

Schools are very used to children arriving with no English and from different school systems. Or that have been in the UK system but reading etc hasn't clicked yet. They catch up.

There are lots of resources available online to help with Maths and English over the move. Including games if you don't mind computer time.

You forget we have had 2 years of Covid lockdowns, many 6 year olds are behind where they would be normally. Don't worry.

He's 5, he'll be fine.

He'll fit right in on the first day and have no problems, there are plenty of other dcs who aren't perfect scholars.

It may be hard but you need to get things back in proportion or he will pick up on your stress and you'll make him anxious.

You do need to calm down or you will pass this misplaced anxiety to your child. Remember many people deliberately homeschool for the early years to avoid the early formal schooling which has mixed reviews anyway - English (because it is an English thing) children do not end up cleverer than the rest of the world.

Buy the jolly phonics books and work your way through. Do plenty of counting games. Read to your child a lot.

We had the same thing, moved back from abroad where dc had play-based curriculum to U.K. hothouse environment where sums and spellings had been drilled in from reception and many kids went to Montessori nursery so could read even earlier. Our dc caught up in a year or so. Don’t stress, they will be fine.