Relocating back to the UK son 5 so far behind

[MrsG2017]

Hi Everyone,

I would really appreciate your advice. We have just (today) sold our house in NZ and will be landing back in London on 5th December. We will be staying in surrey for a few weeks but won't be buying or renting a property there but will likely move to either Gloucestershire or Lincolnshire.

I am so so worried about my son it brings me to tears. He was 5 in April and the NZ school system is so behind. I have been working full time since he was 6 months and i feel like i have let him down.

He can only just count to 20, he can write his name but nothing else and is only in the first stages of his phonics reading. I am so very sad that he will be so far behind his UK peers.

I'm not sure what I can do as if we don't have an address, I can't register him for school and I'm conscious the uk term starts back on the 3rd of Jan. If i were to register him for a school in surrey where we will be for a few weeks, then he will have to move again.

Sorry i would love to know if anyone has been through this or is in education and has any advice. He is a lovely boy so very active and not very focused on his "learning" we really struggle to get him to focus it is such a concern.

Thank you I will stop waffling now!

My daughter learnt nothing in her first 2 years at school. I kept asking for help and they refused, preferring to just blame me for her lack of advancement. She finally learnt to read in year 2 and by the end of the year had a 14 year old reading level and her teacher was asking me to slow down with what I was teaching her at home as she was getting too far ahead!

Children learn at their own speed. I think 5 is far too young to start school. The Finnish model where they don't start formal learning until 7 has led to 100% literacy in Finland (and would have been perfect for my daughter!).

He will presumably be starting in Y1 or maybe even reception? If so he sounds within expected limits tbh and this is without him being in the quite pushy UK education system. I'd be confident he'll catch up. You'd be surprised how fast he progresses once he 'gets it'. Just read to him as much as he will tolerate, give him plenty of opportunity to write and mark make. The wipe clean activity books are really helpful for this. Learning apps can be really helpful. My 4.5 YO loves reading eggs, jolly phonics and numberblocks. I wouldn't panic. If he's capable and his speech and language seems on track he will likely twig on when he's ready x

ITO deciding on schools I'd be tempted to try and settle him down quick as having to keep moving schools might well unsettle him and set him back. If it's only for a few weeks you're staying in Surrey I'd be tempted to postpone school start and homeschool if possible until you're settled. You know your child best though

He will be fine, as others have said in a lot of European countries they don't start formal schooling until 6 and they don't have issues. Just give him time to adjust to the change. Worry about schooling once you're settled properly. You do not have to inform anyone that he is here in terms of schooling, just apply for a place once you know where you're going to be. The risk of informing the local authority is that they will cause you more stress by demanding to know what and how he's learning. As you have every intention of putting him in school I would just not going looking for extra stress.
If he likes it do lots of reading with him/to him. If he likes technology then there are some great apps for him to play with but they learn fast when they're ready, hence why the NZ system is more relaxed, which is no bad thing.

He’s 5, I promise he’ll be fine. The NZ curriculum isn’t behind as such, it’s probably more in line with the Scandi countries where they don’t formally start schooling until 6. Honestly, I think we do too much too soon with them here. And that’s coming from a teacher!

Where I live they dont really teach kids to read till they're 7, then they all learn in one term.
Relax

You say he is "behind" - behind what?

Do not spend his childhood comparing him to others or to some arbitrary government-set targets. He is himself, and he is fine, and he will be fine in school.

Concern yourself with finding a school with a good ethos and good pastoral care and forget the academic side.

While children in the continental model start reading/writing around age 7/8 the early years are gearing up for that. Lots of play but that play is focused.

There will be other children same level as him in Reception. He isn’t ahead but he isn’t behind either.

If you want his reading to progress, don’t worry about phonics etc just read him lots of stories and run your finger under the words as you do.

Would he not be year1 if he turned 5 last April? Still not much to be "behind" . Practice some phonics and number bonds, the rest can be addressed by school if needs be.

He'll catch up, I'm sure. Lots of kids do, and some of them arrive from overseas not only having not started reading, but not knowing English either!

If you end up in a rural area, it might be worth looking at small schools, where he might be in a mixed reception/ year 1 class - that might make it easier for the school to help him bridge the gap.