Reception - disappointing parents evening

[moleinstudy]

Our DD is young in the year (early August) but is doing well at reading and maths (sits on the top tables apparently). Average at writing. She's not a genius but the academic side sounds like it is going ok.

But I feel sad today as her teacher has described a girl that isn't recognisable to me at parents evening. Apparently she often doesn't listen, doesn't try hard, rushes and sometimes even point blank refuses to follow instructions. This has come out of nowhere as far as I am concerned.

I feel like she is utterly exhausted every single day. Will this get better as she matures or do we need to hammer more discipline into her. I really don't want to! She just seems like a happy, well meaning child to us - we rarely have to tell her off.

Any tips for perhaps encouraging her to follow instructions most welcome. I'm all ears.

I am also hoping someone will come on and say their reception kid was the same and a model student by year 1!

I will ask teacher for advice (caught a bit off guard tonight) but don't expect she has much time to focus on one kid unfortunately. Teacher does seem lovely.

Thank you.

Chances are she will settle into the mould the teachers want her to, most children do!

Keep an eye on what they say next time. If it’s more of the same, I’d ask for concrete examples and suggestions. I agree with pp that your DD is so so young!

My DS had trouble listening from age 3 in nursery. I thought they were being OTT given his age, but lo and behold age almost 7, he is still the same and it looks like he probably has ADHD. However I’m sure plenty of other parents got the not listening comments in nursery and their children grew out of it. So keep an eye, chances are she will grow out of it.

I hated parents evenings.

Woah! Grouping them according to ability sounds quite full on. My dd just started reception and school are fairly serious academically. They acheived 100% working at expected level in their SATs last year. However, their numeracy and literacy lessons are incredibly basic atm and sorry to sound stuck up but she's capable of learning wayyy beyond what they do in lessons. She's been allowed to go at her own pace particularly with reading. However, they've made it clear that these first couple of terms especially are about the kids learning to love school and love learning which is exactly how it should be tbh. It sounds as if the teacher is a bit oldschool tbh and is maybe expecting a bit much ITO listening and concentrating. I'd try and diplomatically tell them that right now you're more interested in your daughter being comfortable at school and being embraced as the 4 year old she is.

I know it’s hard but try not to worry. She is 4, in a brand new environment where she is still finding her feet. How a child performs/behaves in reception is not necessarily indicative of how they will perform/behave in later years. Every child matures differently and learning does not follow a straight line. None of my children have particularly shone in EYFS but by year 2 have been more than comfortable if not exceeding expectations which has then continued up through the remainder of primary and into secondary (so far). Your love and support is what will help her most in everything she does xxx

Did the teacher talk at all about things they'd put in place to help DD at all? I wouldn't feel disappointing about her finding school hard, but I would be concerned if the teacher pointed out issues but didn't say how they'd support her.

DS is also August born and was diagnosed with ADHD in Y4 - he was OK the first few years behaviour wise but they did spot coordination issues and put him in a motor skills group at least.

She's only 4 for goodness sake! My prime concerns would be... is she happy? Is she kind? Can she share? Can she go to the loo and eat lunch ok? Everything else will come with time. She's a baby!

I do think they need to differntiaye work even at reception. Some children will be reading chapter books, whilst others can't recognise their own name

For most children though there is at least something they need work on and it should just mostly be playing with a little bit of work/skills training intertwined wherever they're at. Mine had already learned what they're currently learning in reception phonics and maths when she was 2.5-3. However she's more than happy to revisit it and they challenge her in different ways eg encouraging her to write whole words/sentences rather than just single letters. I also challenge her with harder work at home. They might be reading fluently but chances are

It could be giving up too easily. Some children need to be taught that it doesn't matter if you try and it's not perfect. They often also need to see failing and trying again modelled.

Not saying this is the case with OPs daughter but it could be what the teacher meant.

OP, how is she at home when you ask her to do something and she doesn't want to, eg. Go to bed, wash hair. Does she generally listen and do what is asked?