Move to independent school at year 3 - am I doing the right thing?

[munchymoo]

DS is at an outstanding state primary, year 2, he's settled and doing well. DH and I were both entirely state educated and have done well with our respective careers. We live in north London so are considering Highgate, UCS, Habs, City amongst others.

We had always planned to switch to private for secondary as the local state secondaries are not great, but now we've decided to move DS next year into Year 3 (so he'll be sitting the 7+ exam soon).

The reasons for this are twofold. Firstly we live in a very competitive area for private schools and it seems that statistically he is more likely to get a place at 7+ compared to 11+ (our first choice is Highgate and the stats are something like 300 applicants for 100 places at 7+ and 900 applicants for 100 places at 11+), my fear is if we keep him at state and then he doesn't pass the 11+, we don't really have an option other than to send him to the local state comp (moving house isn't really an option for us).

The other reason for switching now is that he is a bright boy, he picks things up quickly and his maths is at least 1 year ahead of the current work they're doing in class, especially since doing the 7+ prep work. He comes home every day with sheets of colouring and when I asked his teacher why that is he said it's because he finishes his work quickly and it's to keep him occupied whilst he helps some of the children who are struggling. He said he would try and get some extension work set up but we've not seen this yet. Whilst I completely appreciate that there are a range of abilities and it is really tough for the teacher to manage 30 children, I also want to do the best for my son and allow him to achieve his potential.

DH is 100% pro moving him and says why wouldn't we if we can afford it? I oscillate between thinking the same, and then thinking he's at an outstanding school, he's happy, we have local friends and a great sense of community and I don't want him to grow up in a bubble, I value the fact that he is currently mixing with a wide range of children of different backgrounds and I am concerned that sending him to private school will quash that.

There is no right answer, and I realise opinions will be divided. Please could I ask for any opinions or anyone else in the same boat? For those who went private, do you feel it was the right choice? Am I mad paying for private education when my son is at an OFSTED outstanding state primary? I realise this is a fortunate position to be in. I'm really struggling, please be kind!

Oh, thank you, I didn't know that. It must be fairly recent then.

Some state schools are better than some private schools.

But on average, a school funded to the tune of £15 - 25k per child per year will be able to provide more than one funded £5 per child per year

Brand new.

Literally a month old! I'm sure it will become very popular as a route into the respective boys and girls.

Smaller class sizes and selective admissions can really support more able students. There’s nothing worse than an able student just waiting around for the rest of the class to finish as over time this is extremely demotivating. However unless you have done some serious English and Maths prep and lots of exam preparation you do not have that much time to prepare him for 7+. 1 year ahead of state school expectations is in reality a fair bit below a successful 7+ candidate. Remember the vast majority of successful pupils will have been prepping for the exams since end of Rec essentially. As others have said Highgate stats explain themselves so perhaps, when you decide if you ideologically are pro private for your son, apply for some backup prep schools.

@BuffyFanForever I think its 1 year ahead at the start of pre-prep (i.e. reception goes through the year 1 and year 2 curriculum). This growth over time to 2+ years in advance of the national curriculum as a minimum for a selective an academically school.

Thank you all for responses. We've been doing a lot of prep at home, DH is really good (much more patient than me!) and we realise the standard for 7+ is a lot higher than current state school work. DS is coping well but I am looking forward to the exams being over!

It seems a common topic - state or private - with mixed opinions!

A happy child with supportive parents (especially supportive parents in a secure financial position) will do well pretty much anywhere. I personally feel being happy at school and being a part of your local community much more beneficial than a private education. You already have that. I may be going against the mumsnet grain here but that is not a boat I would be rocking.

I think a bright child in a good state school with supportive parents will do well, but if you can afford to put him in private school, with all the extras this gives (it's unfair yes, but it's a fact whether we like it or not) then why wouldn't you? We were in a similar situation to you a few years back, it didn't sit well with me to move from state to private because I didn't like the elitism of it but DH was insistent - now we've done it I'm glad we did. I think you're making a good decision OP but equally if you did decide to stay in his current school, he is very likely to do well regardless from what you say.

Also it can't hurt to apply because if he doesn't get in you get another shot at 11+ and if he does get in you still don't need to take up the place if you decide it's not for you!

Spot on ZebraKid71. Am so glad we didn't go down the private route (speaking as mother of late-20s so I can see how they turned out) for a thousand reasons. The money we would have thrown at the school coach (why do private schools never have buses?) bought each of them a house while at uni (the same good unis as their private peers, I might add) ... come the Labour government and VAT on fees, there may be second thoughts around here.

@Moominmammacat you used the money you would have spent on the school coach to buy a house?

I totally get this. What we could buy with the fees. But then I think - they can always (hopefully) work hard enough to buy a house in the future (although to be fair with mortgage rates now maybe not) but they can't get their education back.

@Moominmammacat If you can afford to buy houses for your children, it just means you are wealthy.

For some its not one or the other ( fees or helping them get on the property ladder. And even where it is, some choose school over handing over a house as investment in their child's future.

If you are going private, then as long as the child can keep up, and will not be managed out at key points, the sooner they start the better.

It is what it is.

It be interesting to see how Sunak would have ended up at 42 if his fairly ordinary GP father and Pharmacist mother decided against spending a fortune on Stroud prep school and Winchester... and got him a house at whatever university he ended up, instead...

This is my fear. Kids are generally resilient and cope well with change but I would be so so worried that they didn't like the new school. Has anyone done this and had a bad experience? So far it sounds like everyone that has jumped from state to private in primary have no regrets at all.....I'd probably be less worried about switching in secondary compared with primary tbh.

mmmm well he would have most likely been successful (education and career wise).....but perhaps not to the extent of being a PM!

My youngest is the only one to have gone through the private system since he was 4. I regret not doing the same for my older DC. They went to an 'outstanding' local state but struggled with the step up to private in secondary. Were not used to the expectations placed on them and struggled with the sheer amount of work. Thankfully they settled down. My youngest is confident and up for learning, He is in a class of 12 and gets extra support as required. Its not all about the results, he plays instruments, learns about history, art , science and sport and is exposed to things my older kids didn't get until they were a lot older. My youngest works hard, he is used to the level of homework expected, he is bright and has a thirst for learning which is nurtured in his private school. It wouldn't have been in his local 'outstanding' state where the top 10% are pushed, the bottom 10 and the middle are doing enough.

Out of interest...did you push your older DC who were being state educated in primary? In the sense of providing them with extension work at home, tuition etc?

VictoriaSandwich7 yes however I hadnt appreciated the difference in expectation between private and state. So my idea of pushing and preparing was very different. So all three of my older kids did extra curricular, chess, rugby, piano , football, tennis. They had a tutor to prepare for 11 +.

However the outstanding state only ever set one piece of homework a week, didn't focus too much on spellings and when they moved to secondary and had three/four pieces of work a night it was overwhelming.

My youngest is in yr 3 and has three pieces of work a night. He comes home and just does it. It's not long but he its part of what he does. He also does chess club and piano and just gets on with it

I should add that my youngest went to a prep school where to get into some of the local schools at yr 3 your child was expected to be working 2yrs ahead. So some parents had there kids being tutored from age 3 which seems insane to me

If PM is the goal for your kids, sure. But if his actions as a minister around social protections and public funding, demonstrating such disregard for the reality of a big proportion of people in this country, are a result of a private education he's a walking advert to stay well clear!

That said, if your son is happy enough to take the exam and doesn't feel under any pressure then there's nothing to lose by sitting it and assessing your options when you know what is really on the table. I hope you reach the right decision for your son and your family.

You do know I was taking the Michael, @ZebraKid71 about Sunak.

But if we're talking about this seriously, that private school is a breeding ground for the hard right, let's have a look at the last three leaders of the Labour party....

Starmer: Reigate , £7,100 a term
Corbyn: Haberdashers Adam, £4,700 a term
Harman : St Pauls Girls , £9,200 a term

😉

I don't think Sunak's politics are a result of a public school education, Tony Benn went to Eaton House prep and Westminster, didn't turn him against social justice (Although he still sent his son Hilary to prep school)

My daughter is currently in Y3 and we moved her at the start of this academic year from a 'Good' state school to a private girls school.

There were a few reasons for us - she was being bullied by a boy in her class and the school weren't v responsive but I also felt she is bright and the bigger school set up doesn't suit her. She went from a 120 per year to now 15 in the year.

Our experience is so positive, the school have been brilliant and the other families in the group have all been so welcoming. However the things I underestimated were how much she would miss her old friends (kids she had known since nursery to Y2 so very strong bonds) and also how it would feel for me getting to know everyone again. BUT having said that, when I see how happy she is and fulfilled academically as well as extra curricular, there's no question that it was the right choice for us.

Thank you @ZebraKid71 for your kind words 😊 @bridiebythesea84 i do worry a lot about him missing his friends as he has a good group, DH thinks he’ll still see them loads as they live locally but I think if we move schools those friendships are likely to be lost in the majority