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Primary education

Join our Primary Education forum to discuss starting school and helping your child get the most out of it.

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Original poster

Removing 4 year old from school

66 replies

loveto · 18/09/2022 12:20

DS has struggled with his first week at school to the point where we are taking him out of the school and looking for a new, more suitable school. I won’t go into detail but the school he’s been at is fundamentally the wrong place for him and I’m unwilling to send him back.

Where do I stand? He legally doesn’t need to be in school until he’s 5 which is next year. Is it as simple as sending an email to school to deregister him?

Thanks.

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Doingprettywellthanks · 18/09/2022 12:25

Yes but I really would be careful op

Doingprettywellthanks · 18/09/2022 12:25

Presumably he’s only done just a few days of half days?

Beltloop · 18/09/2022 12:26

I’m not sure but just so you’re definitely aware
he doesn’t have to legally be in education until the term after he is 5. So if he is 5 in March for example he doesn’t need to be in education until the summer term. It’s not the day he turns 5. You probably already knew this but just in case. Hope he and you are ok.

FunsizedandFabulous · 18/09/2022 12:28

It's been, what, two or three weeks? I don't think you've given the school a good enough go. Wait until the Christmas holidays then decide. Sometimes it takes quite a long time for a child to settle in.

Pashazade · 18/09/2022 12:30

If you are certain that this school definitely won't work and it isn't just settling issues then yes all you need to do is send an email stating you are removing your child. They cannot stop you from removing them, even more so because they are not yet CSA.

Yellowmellow2 · 18/09/2022 12:34

Very early days. Would it not be worth having a chat with the school?
if not, hopefully you’ll find him a place in another school that you’re happier with.

Youcancallmeirrelevant · 18/09/2022 12:34

Wouldn't it be better to get him a place at another school and then move him? So there is no gap?

Depending on issues, some may be normal settling in issues, alao depends whether he has been at nursery/pre school etc and how much you prepared him for school days

2bazookas · 18/09/2022 12:58

Its too soon for that. Lots of children find it hard to adjust , then they do. He, and you, have not had enough time to work out that a school is "wrong for him".

What DS needs is for you to engage with his teacher and the school and find some adjustment that helps him to settle. You tell him "Mum and Dad and teacher are all trying their best to help you, so don't worry. LOTS of children take a while to settle in. ".

The very WORST thing for DS, is to give him the impression that any problems in his education or social life can be instantly solved by a change of school.

berksandbeyond · 18/09/2022 13:11

Way too early to make that call surely? They've barely been there?

Original poster

loveto · 18/09/2022 13:19

Believe me, this isn’t a decision we have taken lightly. He’s done a week and a half of full days. I’ve had meetings and phone calls with class teachers and head of year, both of whom were not only useless but dismissive and didn’t offer any support. I didn’t do my research properly or I’d have realised this school was unsuitable with old fashioned policies in place and terrible pastoral care. I am willing to have him at home until we find a suitable place.

Thank you for the advice, I’ll send an email.

OP posts:

NerrSnerr · 18/09/2022 13:19

I would keep him in this school whilst looking for another school (whilst communicating with the school about teachers whatever the issues are) and see if it improves in the meantime.

NerrSnerr · 18/09/2022 13:21

What are the old fashioned policies OP? Might be useful to give more information because PP could advise on type of school to look for or whether you'd have difficulties with most schools.

berksandbeyond · 18/09/2022 13:26

I don't understand what "old fashioned policies" can have left you feeling like this only 10 days in?

mistermagpie · 18/09/2022 13:32

I think we'd need a bit more detail on what's gone wrong with the school itself? You mention pastoral care? Seems unusual to need that so early on, especially for a little child.

As it is, you can certainly remove him, not sure if you will get any assistance with childcare until next year (or if that matters) because it's not a deferral as such, but you could just send him next year when he's five.

Did you choose the school? I'm in Scotland so people tend to just go to the nearest one, but I know it's different elsewhere. Were there other options you can check out now, to see if they have space?

admission · 18/09/2022 13:49

You need to be really careful about just deregistering son from current school. It then puts all the onus on you to either educate via home education or find another school. As soon as you deregister then you are on your own and the LA will not help to find another school. You can also just not apply again in twelve month's time for reception class.
I, as others have, would question the very short time span and also the sweeping statement about old fashion ways of the school. You would be better advised to start looking at other schools and making sure that they would be "suitable" before you make any moves to deregister. Also you need to be careful about the Infant Class Size Regulations. The vast majority of primary schools operate classes of 30, which is the maximum allowed with one school teacher. This means that there are no available places and if you go to appeal and it is an infant class size case you will loose. You would then find yourself in the worse possible situation or no school place and no ability to find another school place in the local area.

Starlightstarbright1 · 18/09/2022 14:00

Old fashioned policies?

I am really not sure why you are asking?

You know legally you can deregister.. you are prepared to wait for the right school..

Most schools aren't that different in policy to be careful what you might loose

birdling · 18/09/2022 14:04

Are they not doing free-flow? Is he expected to sit quietly and unable to manage? What are his prior experiences of education?
What exactly is the issue?
I'm asking these so that we can help you find the correct type of school.

sawwshaa · 18/09/2022 14:05

Will you realistically find a school you're happy with ??

Whatsthepointofmosquitos · 18/09/2022 14:06

Yep, I’ve done this. Email the school office (cc the head if you have her email). “Dear X, we have decided to deregister Z from the school. Please remove him from
the register, effective immediately, and confirm in writing to us that you have done so. Many thanks. Best wishes etc.”

The school may then phone you and try to persuade you not to do this, as they lose money for each child who leaves. That is not your problem and you do not need to even have a discussion with them, although it would be polite to do so. The school will probably not be aware how little power they have once you have sent that email.

They are then legally obliged to inform the council (so that their funding can be reduced). At this time school will also tell the council whether you are home educating and whether they have any safeguarding concerns.

I’m sorry it hasn’t worked out for your child and hope you find a better fit. Four is very young, few countries send children to formal school at that age.

Johnnysgirl · 18/09/2022 14:06

I'm not sure what "old fashioned policies" could have made his school experience so disastrous that you've decided to give up after little more than a week.
What exactly are they, that you're certain were peculiar to that school alone?

megletthesecond · 18/09/2022 14:08

What has been happening?
Did he have problems at pre-school / nursery? If so, did you give them the heads up?

PeekabooAtTheZoo · 18/09/2022 14:19

I’m not sure if PPs are singularly lacking in imagination or just nosey but you don’t need to tell us what the issue is. You’ve made the decision and that’s all that is relevant.
Now that he’s actually been registered with a school it’s not as simple as telling them no thanks, you will also need to inform the LEA (local education authority) who will now categorize it that you’re homeschooling him and you might get an ss visit to check your setup (I’m not sure if this has come in yet in the uk but it’s being brought in imminently and has always been the case in Ireland).
At this age if you get a visit, all they will want to see is some fun workbooks, maybe a display wall of art and a table/chair for him to work at along with chat to you.
Good luck with everything.

Johnnysgirl · 18/09/2022 14:21

Lacking in imagination? Sure, that'll be it 🙄

Johnnysgirl · 18/09/2022 14:22

And op is looking for a "suitable" school, she's not homeschooling.

DreadingWinter · 18/09/2022 14:26

This was the case for my DGS, but we worked with the school to get him into a school that was a better fit. Removing him totally would have been a big mistake.

Can't you sent him half days until you have something suitable sorted?

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