Removing 4 year old from school

[loveto]

DS has struggled with his first week at school to the point where we are taking him out of the school and looking for a new, more suitable school. I won’t go into detail but the school he’s been at is fundamentally the wrong place for him and I’m unwilling to send him back.

Where do I stand? He legally doesn’t need to be in school until he’s 5 which is next year. Is it as simple as sending an email to school to deregister him?

Thanks.

We had already made the decision to send to independent school next year.

why on earth would you have your 4 year old join a school, have all the settling in experience, his first experience of school, and then just as he’s getting in to the groove…. Pluck him out for year 1.

makes no sense

I suspect OP is not really like the rest of us. I'm sure the more socially acceptable milieu of private schools will be more suitable for their needs, so it's the right choice for all concerned...

What doingpretty said!
howards - for most people it is very hard to ‘do better’ than school, it’s not just about teaching, it’s about learning to work with all sorts of people, not all of whom you will like or will like you. Unless there are particular sen or health reasons IME children (and the parent) who are homeschooled may have a lovely time short term but long term it does them not favours at all.

why on earth would you have your 4 year old join a school, have all the settling in experience, his first experience of school, and then just as he’s getting in to the groove…. Pluck him out for year 1.

makes no sense

I agree.

It’s pretty mean on the kid.

I don’t think many of us would enroll their 4 year old in a school, their very first experience of the education experience - knowing that they’re going to pluck him out at the end of the year.

So no, not like many of us I reckon.

Yes, but ideally put it in writing. Either way, ask for a receipt. Otherwise they are likely to not pass the info on to the LA and claim funding for him, and you could get into hot water down the line with welfare etc.

It depends on the reason why you have withdrawn him
It also depends on the area you live. In my area for instance, you cannot easily find a place in a good independent as they oversubscribed. I wish you all the best. The independent school may not resolve your actual problems; it depends on your childs needs.

I’m very confused by the suggestion of a plan to place a child into Year R in a state primary with a plan to move them into Year 1 in Prep.

@NCFT0922 I completely understand why lots of people with sensitive kids pick prep - we did it! Lots of those sensitive kids (like mine) go on to be dx with SN.

These are some of the issues we/friends with children with SN have experienced in 3 local preps….

Kids being forced out - asked to leave for failure to meet academic standards even at non-selective/not very competitive schools, parents told they need to leave as they are being labelled as naughty, subtle pushing out - withdrawal of support, saying kids will be better off elsewhere etc etc.

Poor teaching for children with SN and poor pastoral care - lots of preps seem to have teachers without experience of or interest in supporting kids with SN, unqualified SENCOS who do not have the NASSEN qualification and are years out of date.

Also issues with other parents - many go to preps partly to get away from what they see as the drain on teacher time caused by kids with SN. Locally we’ve heard of lots of parents complaining to their prep school about behaviour of kids with SN. The school wants to keep the majority of parents happy and in one case locally a child with ASD was asked to leave after most parents in the class went to the school in a group to complain about their behaviour.

There are so many other issues - being made to pay hundreds per week for basic support that would come for free in the state sector over and above the fees etc etc

Fieldfly

With respect, I doubt that your personal experience is extensive. Many universities would actually prefer home educated children because they are more accustomed to interacting with a wide range of people (not just their year group like a herd of cattle) and have been doing self directed learning for longer. It doesn't work for everyone but the reality is not nearly as difficult as you make out. But I recognise that's very inconvenient for people to acknowledge as all those children who are unhappy at school would no longer have a compelling reason to go.

@loveto : if you are still reading, I would recommend to join FB group "Flexible School Admissions for Summer Borns". It is a private group so will take some time to approve your request. There are lots of people there who are experienced with deferring school start. There are templates what to write and how so you will not loose a place in state system and your child can start Reception next September when he is 5 years and a few months old. I have read you are looking at private schools but as a backup may need to keep a state place until you find suitable private.

Sounds like there might have been some settling in issues if you were called so early on? That would be unusual. Probably best to move if it’s not working out at this point. If you remove him, the school has a duty to find out where he goes next (even if it’s to home education) or he would be known as ‘missing from education’. EWOs (Education Welfare Officer) have a safeguarding duty to keep track of these children so they don’t become ‘lost’. Not 100% sure if this applies to under 5s but suspect it does if he’s started school.

Do you have evidence/research/statistics to support such a statement?

@Howardsbend
Which universities prefer home-schooled students? I have spent twenty years teaching in universities and I've never encountered this idea. Quite the opposite, in fact. The home-schooled students that I've taught (not very many) had mostly been to conventional schools by GCSE and certainly A-level. The three who had never been to any sort of school all failed to get a degree for various reasons and were a huge hassle to deal with, mostly because they expected exceptions to be made all the time.

I think it varies. We’ve had the opposite experience.

@underneaththeash so did we…until we didn’t. We thought the warnings didn’t take into account the fact there are really nurturing and non-academically pushy preps, with excellent SENCOs. We felt we had made the right choice for the first three years. Then our head and SENCO both left.

IME a prep is only as SN-friendly as its SMT and of course that can change.