Removing 4 year old from school

[loveto]

DS has struggled with his first week at school to the point where we are taking him out of the school and looking for a new, more suitable school. I won’t go into detail but the school he’s been at is fundamentally the wrong place for him and I’m unwilling to send him back.

Where do I stand? He legally doesn’t need to be in school until he’s 5 which is next year. Is it as simple as sending an email to school to deregister him?

Thanks.

The reasons are relevant. For example, if it was due to SEN then deregistering isn’t the best response as remaining on the school roll often results in quicker support.

In England, parents don’t have to inform the LA. The Schools Bill hasn’t been passed yet, and even if it had it doesn’t include an automatic visit from children’s services.

He needs pastoral care after 10 days aged 4? Is he getting support out of school too?

The purpose of this thread was to ask the question that has been answered.

I don’t need to go any further into detail. It is the right thing to do for DS and the family as a whole. We are now looking at independent schools which allow mid-year admissions.

Thank you to the posters who have been helpful.

Do you need your son to be in school for childcare? Four is very young especially for little boys to start school. I wouldn’t hesitate to withdraw him and let him start when he is five if possible. I realise my opinion is going against the majority here, but in the UK, children start school so much earlier than most other infants in the world.

OP if the reason for removing him from school has anything to do with SEN or additional support needs then I would caution against moving him to an independent school. It isn't always the utopia they portray it as, and many have a poor track record of helping pupils who require extra support.

I did this op. Best decision I ever made.

I assume he’s summerborn. There’s a really useful summerborn Facebook group and also a not fine in school group.

I took mine back to nursery and then he started reception a year later.

Sometimes you just KNOW

Wouldn't he just go straight into ur1? Your problem then is he hasn't practised the sitting still stuff and by god do they need to do that. Not the education stuff.

And getting a place somewhere isn't going to be easy as places will already be filled from nursery age. You won't be applying from scratch but effectively as an in year transfer.

That alone will limit your options.

A week is nothing. That's not really giving it time. It hasn't given you any time to engage with the school and work with them to sort out issues.

Instead you are just expecting an instant fix, which by the sound of it is unlikely to happen at ANY school your child goes to.

Better to be in they system and if there is a SEN issue at play get cracking on addressing that. If he's not in school, you are just wasting time.

*Straight into yr1

Depends entirely on area. In some areas you can defer into reception. And a lot of independent schools allow it.

Op I would say though be very very careful with independent schools. I know five people who have had their kids forced out. Heads can change and very Sen-friendly settings can go bad.

There are no SEN.
We have a lot of independent schools in the area so plenty of choice. We have plenty of options- move him as soon as we find somewhere, defer him so he starts reception next year and put him into childcare in the mean time (he is summer born), or worst case, I can home educate until we find an appropriate setting.
Again, I wasn’t asking for opinions, just a simple answer to my question.

Maybe best to be a tad more questioning of the schools in question before you send your child there

Off topic but related, if you end up home schooling for a while we just started using the app reading eggs (not an ad I promise) and I’ve been really impressed. Just incase you need some materials for at home

Op it might seem like there are no Sen now, but imho and also ime many children who struggle really markedly in the first week of reception do turn out to have Sen. Eg they get diagnosed with dyslexia or ADHD later In primary. It’s very difficult to be sure (I would say almost impossible) that a 4 year old doesn’t have Sen.

My dc is now 8. He is very bright, sociable and an all rounder. It’s only just been realised he also has ADHD. He is about to be assessed.

I was warned on MN about private schools and SN, ignored it and enrolled at a very nurturing prep. Hindsight is 360 tbh and I now wish I had listened to the warnings!

I'm asking these so that we can help you find the correct type of school.

Why? The op hasn't asked for any assistance in this regard.

It's hilarious how ruffled posters get at the idea of a four year old not being in school. It's like you think his head will fall off. And the idea that a parent might actually know, a week and a half in, that the school isn't up to snuff... mind-blowing.

My little girl has never darkened the door of a school. Perfectly good social skills, loves life, aced her sats when she had a go at them for fun. School is not that great, it's not hard to do better.

Why didn’t you go down the indie route initially?

@MissHavershamReturns sorry to hear that. Do you mind me asking what the issues are? My son has SEN and will be going to prep next year.

Yes, when I de-registered my child I literally just emailed the school to inform them.
Your child is then deregistered immediately.

The school are obliged to offer you a meaning to discuss your reasoning and your child's best interests, but you are not obliged to agree to any meeting.

Once the school receive your email, they have to inform the LA and take your child off roll.

I think you’d be doing your DS a massive disservice by pulling him out.

Of course you don’t need to go into details but it’s obviously nothing major else you would have said.
Therefore I think you need to take a step back and think about what’s truly best for DS.

Did he go to nursery?

Why not keep him there until you can find a more suitable place?

I'm also curious if he went to nursery?

He went to preschool full time for 2 years prior to school. No issues at preschool.
We had already made the decision to send to independent school next year.

My son is fundamentally going to be happier at home with me than he was at this school and no, it was not just teething problems with settling.

I don’t need to explain my whole life to you strangers on the internet so I’m going to stop there.

Thank you to the few non-judgemental posters.

It's clearly a very touchy subject for you.

Another one who wouldn't recommend prep schools for SEN. We took our DS out of a boys prep after 2 years and he's now so much happier at our local school. Private schools don't have the infrastructure to deal with SEND like local schools do, and they don't have the motivation to either. Atleast that was the case with us. But the OP says no special needs so I guess it doesn't matter.