DS not invited to his school mate’s birthday party and feels hurt. What shall we do?

[SillySmart]

DS plays well with another boy in his class and considers him as one of his good friends. So when DS had a small birthday party earlier in the year, that boy was among 10 kids invited. Now it’s that boy birthday party and DS was not invited, while others were all invited. DS feels hurt/betrayed and even cried when he told us this😂 So we said if you are not happy you should say it and should ask that boy yourself why you were not invited. So he asked and that boy said he was invited. DS then was in strong belief that he could go to that party. To clarify we messaged that boy’s mum just to make sure. But his mum just ignored the message…

Not to blame or complain, but as a parent, what should we do and what should we tell kids in this type of situations? Also, is it a big deal if you invite someone to your birthday party, but are not invited to his/her birthday party? I mean should we invite that boy again for DS next birthday party or exclude him? It’s kind of awkward now…

That is horrible when that happens. Happened to my son once and I said nothing but the mum of the boy arrived at my door and made the boy apologize and ask my son to the party which he did go. I never left any boys out of a party I did as only 10 in class and not fair to leave one out even if not one that son was that friendly with. All the boys always invited all the boys in the class so that was good. The mum seems to be the issue, not sure what else you can do. If you arrive with your son she can hardly send him away and if she did she would be a right horrible woman to do that to a small child.

Complete overkill to march the boy round to apologise 🙄. Why would anyone do that?

@Bouledeneige
I too had approached the school about friendships and isolation and of course we didn’t get concerned she wasn’t invited to parties in the beginning. This was primary and of course we didn’t expect constant invitations. . However it can feel like exclusion and primary DC do notice. We changed schools for y7. You did for 6th form. Your DS was happier and my DD was happier. It also rather proves that our DC are perfectly ok and can make friends if other DC are willing. It wasn’t just this one party but it was the final straw! Hope your DS now thrives. My DD did.

I had this yesterday but with an adult! She is a school mum and we invited her eldest DD to DS party (as a return invitation rather than DS really liking this child). She then asked about her youngest and I agreed she could come. I offered to pick her kids up as they were doing an activity 2 mins walk from my home, to save the drive and she declined.

Then she messaged saying her kids wanted her to come to the party, and she was happy to have some cake. I said it was a kids party, but I would save her some cake.

She then insisted for H&S reasons, she needed to be around for her youngest (we have a big paddling pool in the garden). I sent a photo of the pool, and said it was still a kids party, and if she decided against her youngest attending the party, I understood.

She then said she would hang around discreetly and I had to say parents are not invited, I was starting to feel uncomfortable about her insistence and to please respect our invitation.

So now she has deleted me from social media and isn't talking to me.

And she is forty something. I give up.

Your poor DS. It must really sting to not be invited.

I would message the mum and say sorry for the text, and explain that I was feeling emotional because DS was so upset. I would also offer to invite the boy over and mark his birthday separately.

And when the party is happening, I would take him out for a treat to keep his mind off it.

Oh my God!!

Wow! Insisting an extra uninvited child attend then demanding things for them not offered by the host is next level crazy!