Denied leave to visit grandparent who is terminally ill

[divvin88]

Hi all,

Wanted to find out what are my options in a tricky situation that we are facing.

My father in law was diagnosed with cancer 2 years back. Recently he had a massive haemorrhage due to cancer complications and was in a critical condition for over two weeks. He is based in India. So our family had to rush to India in that situation not knowing if he will survive. We applied for absence from school for my 6 year old daughter. Last week we got a letter from the school saying the leave has not been authorised and that we will be fined. To top it, we also received a letter stating that my daughter does not meet attendance etc. Now, I want to understand if a kids grandfather is in critical condition and if the kid has to travel along with the family to be with him in his last days is that not an exceptional circumstance. If this does not qualify as exceptional what does? The school head teachers lack of humanity has really shocked us and we want to take this matter legally as we think we have been fined unfairly. So wanted to know if anyone has been in a similar situation and if so what can be done to right this injustice.

Just go. They can hardly stop you

I’m sorry that your FIL is very I’ll that must be so hard being so far away.

Afaik - It’s not the school who impose this rule or fines. It’s the local authority - schools just have to follow the rules. As far as I am aware headteachers get very little leeway.

I think the fines are quite low really ( compared to say a flight cost ) so I’d just pay the fine if you decide to go.

Your DCs attendance however is another thing - have they had a lot of time off? In which case a letter is normal and justified .

Just go and pay the fine, it's only £60.

I’m sorry it’s stressful - but just pay the fine. You’ll waste money and energy better directed elsewhere.

You won’t get leave. It’s not a legal reason to miss school. It wouldn’t be a legal reason for a teacher if it was their father dying either.

just go anyway. I promise you the staff don’t care. They just have to pretend to, and go through the motions

Now, I want to understand if a kids grandfather is in critical condition and if the kid has to travel along with the family to be with him in his last days is that not an exceptional circumstance. If this does not qualify as exceptional what does?

In terms of this, the local authority (who administer the fine and not the headteacher) will argue that there was no need for the whole family to go.

Call them in the morning and tell them he has D&V what are they going to do?

They have to. Its out of the schools hands. They probably do support your decision to go but aren't allowed to authorise it.

Wow. Thank you so much for all the responses. Really appreciate the prompt help, wasnt expecting them so quick :)

To clarify, we did fly and we were with him. Recently came back home once he was out of danger and is on the path to recovery. The letter denying the absences was given last week when my daughter started going to school again.

My issue is not with paying the fine but wanted to just check if my frustration with the school is justified. From what I read, the law around what comprises as exceptional circumstance is vague and that its the discretion of the head teacher to decide if he feels its exceptional or not. So based on his decision the local authorities send you the fine. What has upset us is that the head teacher did not even bother asking us for any justification or proof before denying the leaves and recommending a fine. I think its not worth a fight but surely there needs to be more sensitivity in such matters. Ultimately, family comes first isnt it.

The trouble is that this happened at the same time as half term. So it looks to the LA that you've said one thing but actually gone on holiday.

Thats such a sad state. They go by prejudice and assumptions then!

What is your child's attendance? Before you went on the trip, was it above 90%

No. They go by the law

How much school did she miss? Was it 2 weeks? They usually only fine for 1 week or longer.

Whilst I understand your point, the guidance is strict and schools can't deviate much from this. They potentially would argue that 2 weeks was too long and one parent could have returned home with your DD.

I think you just have to pay the fine, roll your eyes and forget about it.

just pay the fine.

Yes, HT's discretion is deliberately undefined, because there is no way that all possible exceptional circumstances are codified. Individual local consideration is considerably better

If a HT decided not to authorise, it's on them. Regardless of whether they have abandoned their right, set out in law, to be the one who decided (in favour of eg the LA, as described in some posts), or to governors or to anyone else.

The HT does not however recommend a fine, they simply decide that what is or isn't authorised. The LA fines based on their fining policy and what is entered in the register.

Compassionate visits are usually day or two, but it sounds as though you were away for over two weeks.

It is utterly shite when your school does not believe you - ask any parent of a genuinely chronically ill DC who is now in a climate of disbelief because of the number of people who think it's OK to call in sick.

You have done the right thing in being truthful with the school, and as you say you have proof of expected death, it might be worth a brief email to the school attaching an image of that. Because although he has pulled through this time, presumably there's going to be a next time and you will want your DC present then as well. Even if you cannot overturn the HT's decision not to authorise, I'd get as much recorded in writing as possible, in case it's needed in future

How long did you go for?

If it was a few days then I would expect it to be authorised. If it was longer then I’m not surprised it wasn’t.

But it’s one parent’s parent, not both of your parent’s, so one of you could have stayed here and kept your child in education.

Just pay the fine. Though it sounds like the issue here was that she was off for a sizeable chunk of time (Week? Two weeks?) and that she has a background of poor attendance. So those things are going against you, regardless of how ill your FIL was.

I’m an ex teacher and 2 weeks would have normally been approved but 2 weeka would not cause and attendance issue. Why does she have low attendance? What is her attendance?

They honestly can’t stop you

They will fine you £60 per parent per child.

I’ve paid it before before because £120 fine was still cheaper than paying for a half term holiday

We were fined for taking our DD's out of school for DP's sibling's wedding. Their aunt! And they were bridesmaids. As if they weren't going to go to that! Ridiculous!

The head was nice and apologised about the fine and wishes us a great time; said she would have loved to authorise it but local authority rules didn't allow it.

Oh come on OP prejudice and assumption? No it is the LAW. You are completely overreacting to situation .

Attendance is governed by Ofsted not the school. Schools have to meet attendance targets to obtain a good Ofsted report. So when parents chose a school and go for one with a good Ofsted report they are partly to blame.
As stated above the staff do not care, they are simply doing their job.
Just pay the fine.

I also agree that one parent could have stayed so it wasn't a strictly necessary for the child to be removed from school for 2 weeks (if it was 2 weeks).