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Primary education

Join our Primary Education forum to discuss starting school and helping your child get the most out of it.

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Original poster

New Year 4 Teacher Shouting; Banging Desks; Physically Pulling Kids Into Line....

85 replies

roses2 · 12/05/2022 09:04

Hi,

My DS in Year 4 (age 9) goes to a small outstanding rated school. Three weeks ago he got a new teacher as the old one "suddenly" resigned (we only got 1 day notice!).

The first two weeks he was coming home crying; said she shouts a lot and sends him out of class. Granted he can be disruptive but each year so far all the teachers have found a way to hold his attention without disrupting the class and sending him out.

DH went to speak with her; gave her a firm talking to that the shouting and sending him out isn't working and she needs to try another strategy which we will happily work with her on. Since then she has stopped sending DS out of class although the shouting continues.

Since last week DS has been coming home crying saying she has been hurting his friends. This is where I am now concerned:

she shouts a lot
Bangs the table of kids not listening
DS said she is physically hurting his friends. Another school mum contacted me yesterday to say she is taking her child out of school today because he was the one she physically pulled to get into line. DS actually gave me the name of another child the teacher did this to, not this child!
There is no longer a TA in the class, just her. So no other adult witness

I have a meeting with the deputy head this afternoon. Shouting at kids, banging desks and physically manoeuvring children to the point they cry is not acceptable.

I want to log this formally with the school but not really sure how to.

Can anyone help guide me on the process so I can articulate myself clearly when I meet the deputy head this afternoon?

It's normally a loving nurturing school with a great ethos. This is the first major issue we have had (and heard of).

OP posts:

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Magenta82 · 12/05/2022 09:10

Wouldn't the meeting with the deputy head be formally logging the issues? You could take in notes to make sure you cover everything and then follow up with an email if you are concerned it will be brushed aside.

I hope you get it sorted, this is not acceptable behaviour.

JuneOsborne · 12/05/2022 09:12

Well, there should be a procedure you follow. Check the school's website out. And follow it. Follow up your meeting with an email so that you have a record.

But, there are a couple of things to consider.

The kids are exaggerating.
The school could close ranks.

Keep your complaint as factual as possible, and perhaps angle it that you want to know if there's any truth in what the kids are saying.

Also, schools never discuss other children. This needs to be about your child.

If it's true, it sounds awful! (It's not that I disbelieve your child, I'm just always reminded of what we're told when the kids start at school: we won't believe everything they say that happens at home, and we suggest you do similar about what happens at school! And they don't mean terrible abuse, they mean, when my son told the teacher that he wasn't allowed any food at home, she didn't jump on it because he's a bit podgy and clearly eats! What he meant was that I hadn't refilled the biscuit jar because he was a bit podgy!)

Feenie · 12/05/2022 10:35

Your child is so disruptive that he has to be sent out but your Dh gave the teacher a talking to?!

SpindleInTheWind · 12/05/2022 10:44

Feenie · 12/05/2022 10:35

Your child is so disruptive that he has to be sent out but your Dh gave the teacher a talking to?!

Children with additional needs are entitled to be accommodated in a mainstream school, without being shouted at and excluded from the classroom.

Feenie · 12/05/2022 10:50

I’d want to establish that the shouting was happening.

Depends what the disruption consists of.Sometimes being taken out of the classroom/taking the rest of the class out is necessary for the safety of all concerned.

Feenie · 12/05/2022 10:52

Have I missed the part where the op said her ds has additional needs?

Furrbabymama87 · 12/05/2022 11:00

If anyone physically hurt or intentionally intimidated one of my kids I'd be seeing them directly and it would take every bit of me not to knock them the fuck out.

Original poster

roses2 · 12/05/2022 11:16

My child doesn't have special needs. She sends a considerable number of children out, not just mine. Previous teachers didn't do this. They seemed to be able to manage the kids by not shouting at them.

Thanks all for the feedback so far.

OP posts:

Yellowmellow2 · 12/05/2022 18:21

I’m struggling to get past the part where you said your husband gave the teacher a firm talking to….

if you want to make a complaint, you need to follow the school’s complaints procedure. As others have said, you can only refer to concerns about your own child.

cansu · 13/05/2022 19:22

Your child is disruptive. If he is disturbing the learning of the other kids, maybe he needs to be sent out.
Your ds is not an impartial observer. He is a kid who is naughty and has been in trouble.
Pulling a kid into a line and gently moving them into a line are two different things. You were not there.

The teacher left suddenly. I wonder why??

TooManyPlatesInMotion · 13/05/2022 22:17

Your DH gave the teacher a "firm talking to"?! Wow. That just isn't appropriate - you don't know the full facts and there is a clear procedure to follow in schools that doesn't involve getting your husband to bollock the teacher.

You are having a meeting with the deputy and can escalate from there if appropriate, but I suspect there is more to this than the kids' versions.

Viviennemary · 13/05/2022 22:23

Sounds like the class is quite badly behaved and not easy to control. But if you have concerns about this teachers strategy for dealing with this you are right to raise it with the head.

PAFMO · 13/05/2022 22:26

Furrbabymama87 · 12/05/2022 11:00

If anyone physically hurt or intentionally intimidated one of my kids I'd be seeing them directly and it would take every bit of me not to knock them the fuck out.

Classy.
Not what the OP is describing though is it?

PAFMO · 13/05/2022 22:27

What happened yesterday at the meeting then?

LisaSimpson77 · 13/05/2022 22:28

cansu · 13/05/2022 19:22

Your child is disruptive. If he is disturbing the learning of the other kids, maybe he needs to be sent out.
Your ds is not an impartial observer. He is a kid who is naughty and has been in trouble.
Pulling a kid into a line and gently moving them into a line are two different things. You were not there.

The teacher left suddenly. I wonder why??

Yes this, your ds has no additional needs yet every teacher so far has had to "find a way" to get him to do as he's told? Why?

If the class teacher left suddenly and the new teacher is shouting etc on a regular basis, that says to me that the class are really difficult and your ds sounds like part of the problem.

Should she be shouting and pulling children around? Of course not, but maybe you as parents need to try to work with her to ensure your ds stops disrupting the class.

XelaM · 13/05/2022 23:06

Why can't you give your son a "firm talking to" so he stops being disruptive in class? 🤷‍♀️

converseandjeans · 13/05/2022 23:13

Granted he can be disruptive but each year so far all the teachers have found a way to hold his attention without disrupting the class and sending him out.

I think this is the problem. The teacher is trying to establish some discipline and order and your DH gave her a stern talking to. Your DS has no additional needs so should by Year 4 be able to sit and do his work without messing around.

How does DS behave at home? Do you ever feel the need to raise your voice? Imagine having 29 other children to deal with in addition to DS.

Odys · 14/05/2022 07:46

Your DS may need to be removed from class so that he is not hijacking the learning of others. Perhaps you should think about how to support him to change his disruptive behaviour. It's affecting his learning and probably other kids too. Sounds like a very challenging class that the previous teacher either struggled to control, or he decided enough was enough and left. Its likely kids including your ds are giving the new teacher a tough time. What is shouting and what is a firm voice? It's not easy to take on a challenging class half way through the year. Give it some time, if ds stops mucking about, he won't get sent out. Hope it gets better.

TheOnlyLivingBoyInNewCross · 14/05/2022 07:55

Have you and your DH given your DS a firm talking to about why it is not acceptable to be so disruptive in class that he needs to be sent out so that the other children can get on with their work without being disturbed? How did that go?

BeautifulDragon · 14/05/2022 08:10

The teacher shouldn't be shouting or banging tables (if that is happening), but the class is clearly poorly behaved with that don't support the school in dealing with their children's poor behaviour.

The parents of the well behaved DC are probably glad OP's DS and the other disruptive children are being sent out.

Sounds like new teacher is trying to establish boundaries.

BeautifulDragon · 14/05/2022 08:11

with parents that don't support the school

robin20009 · 14/05/2022 08:15

We had this at a private primary school our child attended. It was marketed it as a warm, nuturing , family friendly etc. The upper part of school was anything but. There was a teacher who we reported to the school for grabbing and pushing kids for no reason at all.
In meetings they would deny it , or later describe it as " banter ".
No one should be laying a hand on your child.

ballsdeep · 14/05/2022 08:17

SpindleInTheWind · 12/05/2022 10:44

Children with additional needs are entitled to be accommodated in a mainstream school, without being shouted at and excluded from the classroom.

Show quote history

Where does the op say her child had additional needs?

PAFMO · 14/05/2022 08:20

ballsdeep · 14/05/2022 08:17

Where does the op say her child had additional needs?

Show quote history

She doesn't. But it's a MN rule isn't it?
Any misbehaving child must automatically have additional needs. Which is grossly offensive to those children who do, although it shows the posters up for what they really are. Disablist- as they believe that any child with additional needs = misbehaves.

ballsdeep · 14/05/2022 08:22

PAFMO · 13/05/2022 22:26

Classy.
Not what the OP is describing though is it?

Show quote history

How lovely you are. Did this actually happen? As pp said, guiding is completely different to pulling and if it did happen then it is obviously unacceptable.
Believe me op, I've seen teachers keep disruprive children in the class but at a huge detriment to the others. Maybe your child needs the firm talking to and not the teacher, trying to teach a class Of 30 and your child is constantly being disruprive.

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