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Primary education

Join our Primary Education forum to discuss starting school and helping your child get the most out of it.

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Original poster

Moving 7 years old at year 3 to prestigious independent school!

90 replies

sindysindysindy · 24/03/2022 00:27

Hi,
My daughter is 7 years old, she is currently in lovely girls (GDST) school that has a very nuturing environment with great postoral care. She loves her school, friends and teachers a lot. We spend time with her classmates outside the school as well. All most all parents became friends we meet and let the kids have play date at least once in a week. Luckly we all live local so my daughter also goes to swimming and violin lessons with her best friend. They spend so much time together. We have no problem with the school as I mentioned above but we wanted to try 7+ exams for other independent school that known as more selective and academic then my daughters current school. She did really well in all exams, she had 3 offers from other independent schools. We were so happy when we received the results and we decided on the most prestigious local independent school and paid the deposit as well. But my daughter doesn't want to change her school, she doesn't want to move! She keep saying she will miss her friends and school a lot. I tried to explain her that she can still see/meet her friends but she says its not going to be same. She is very bright and academic little girl, basically best in the classroom. I believe academically other school will suit her better but I do not want to make her sad. I checked the previous GSCE grades, my daughters school did %79, and other school %94 for 5 GSCE in grades A*-B. Do you think if she goes to more academic school she will get higher grades? Or she will do good anywhere? Actually we can also try 11+ but far less likely as greater competition. Ofcourse she may not get in. If she doesn't get any offer she can stay in her current school up to 18. Yesterday I told her that I need to give notice to her school and she cried a lot. We a pay a lot for private school so while paying it i want my daughter to take best results. But she is going to feel sad whats the point. Pros and cons both ways and feels like such a big decision.

WWYD?

OP posts:

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LongSummers · 24/03/2022 00:41

Your daughter is too young to decide what is for the best for her whole educational career. At her age she will make new friends easily. I wouldn’t have hesitation moving her.

newsibling123 · 24/03/2022 15:17

@sindysindysindy

Hi, My daughter is 7 years old, she is currently in lovely girls (GDST) school that has a very nuturing environment with great postoral care. She loves her school, friends and teachers a lot. We spend time with her classmates outside the school as well. All most all parents became friends we meet and let the kids have play date at least once in a week. Luckly we all live local so my daughter also goes to swimming and violin lessons with her best friend. They spend so much time together. We have no problem with the school as I mentioned above but we wanted to try 7+ exams for other independent school that known as more selective and academic then my daughters current school. She did really well in all exams, she had 3 offers from other independent schools. We were so happy when we received the results and we decided on the most prestigious local independent school and paid the deposit as well. But my daughter doesn't want to change her school, she doesn't want to move! She keep saying she will miss her friends and school a lot. I tried to explain her that she can still see/meet her friends but she says its not going to be same. She is very bright and academic little girl, basically best in the classroom. I believe academically other school will suit her better but I do not want to make her sad. I checked the previous GSCE grades, my daughters school did %79, and other school %94 for 5 GSCE in grades A*-B. Do you think if she goes to more academic school she will get higher grades? Or she will do good anywhere? Actually we can also try 11+ but far less likely as greater competition. Ofcourse she may not get in. If she doesn't get any offer she can stay in her current school up to 18. Yesterday I told her that I need to give notice to her school and she cried a lot. We a pay a lot for private school so while paying it i want my daughter to take best results. But she is going to feel sad whats the point. Pros and cons both ways and feels like such a big decision.

WWYD?

As the new school is local, and you wont be moving home or anything, if you stress she can still have playdates with her friends, invite them over, etc - it's the friends they miss , rather than the school.

There's no doubt she should go to the new school, be careful on giving notices and liabilities for fees.

Original poster

sindysindysindy · 24/03/2022 15:28

@LongSummers @newsibling123
I think she will also miss the school. New school is 3.5 miles away, current school is local. New school will be coed. Only girls” schools have more warm, friendly environment. Even when I visited new school I felt like in that way. I am also happy with the quality of teaching of her current school.

OP posts:

Whinge · 24/03/2022 15:36

Does she have to move? It seems like a huge change for very little benefit.

She loves school, is happy, settled, has a lovely group of friends, seems to be achieving well and also enjoying activities outside of school. It sounds like you have your reservations about the new school, saying you feel in the way, and the increased distance will mean less chance of local friendships / playdates outside of school.

I would keep her where she is.

Original poster

sindysindysindy · 24/03/2022 16:22

@Whinge

Actually she is so friendly, confident child so I was always saying she will have new friends easily in her new school so I wasnt worry about it a lot. However in this platform I saw some links (previous news) about the school then I had some question marks on my mind. The school became recently coed and currently majority of the students are the boys, I think around %85-%90.
She is currently so happy, confident and feeling so safe where she is so I felt like it will be massive change in her life.

www.google.co.uk/amp/s/metro.co.uk/2022/02/06/private-schools-manipulated-exam-system-during-covid-to-inflate-grades-16056920/amp/

www.google.co.uk/amp/s/amp.theguardian.com/society/2021/jun/13/ex-pupils-who-compiled-sexual-abuse-dossier-accused-of-blocking-inquiry

OP posts:

Marmite27 · 24/03/2022 16:26

If her current school is a single sex environment, she’s settled, has an established friendship group and it’s local I’d leave her where she is.

Are you the poster that is expecting a 7 year old girl to take school transport that is mostly boys?

If she’s as good as you say she is, she will excel anywhere.

Volterra · 24/03/2022 16:26

Personally nothing on earth would make me move a 7 year old who was in a nurturing environment, has friends and is happy.

MalFunkshun · 24/03/2022 16:41

Speaking from personal experience, I was also in an independent school - small, nurturing etc. I was really happy and settled with a great friendship group, but my parents felt (probably correctly) that I wasn’t being stretched academically. I was moved at age 7 to another school, still reasonably close but with more of a focus on academia.

I still remember it as being a terrible decision. I didn’t settle very easily, I never quite found the place that I’d had at my previous school and my friendships were tricky all the way through. Yes I achieved academic success, but I think I probably would have done that anyway.

Honestly I think we can focus too much on the academic side of things at too young an age. Up to the age of 11, building one’s confidence and resilience in a secure, nurturing environment is SO much more important.

BendingSpoons · 24/03/2022 16:55

I was firstly thinking move her but your update sounds like in many ways you prefer her current school. If she is top of the class, she could probably get offers at 11+. Also don't forget the more academic school select more academic children, so getting better exam results is hardly surprising! Again if your DD is top of the class, she will presumably be getting the top grades. Are you happy with her current teaching? Is she being stretched enough or is she coasting? I would really try to decide based on your views of both schools and don't just go on reputation.

newsibling123 · 24/03/2022 17:16

If she loves the school and it's not a missing friends thing, then I'd be tempted to go for 11+ for more academic schools, get her onboard for this stage, if the school is suitable, she'll get in- true there's always an element of luck, but talent rises to the top.

A clever girl in any GDST school can go as far as she can, so you're worst case scenario is far from an awful one - DD stays

LondonGirl83 · 25/03/2022 05:44

If the current school is differentiating the work for her and keeping her stretched then I think it’s best to leave her where she is. Being local for primary school is a huge advantage as is strong pastoral care and being settled socially. League tables mostly tell you how selective the school is rather than being a statement on the quality of the teaching.

RealRaymondReddington · 25/03/2022 05:47

For me her happiness would be more important than a prestigious school. It sounds like she is thriving where she is so I would leave her personally.

newbiename · 25/03/2022 05:50

I'd leave her where she is. If , as you say , she is top of her class she should have no problems with the 11+ or any grades.

Leggingslife · 25/03/2022 05:51

She is happy and thriving where she is. If she is as clever as you say, she will perform well academically regardless of the school she attends.

CakesOfVersailles · 25/03/2022 05:57

Having read your updates I would say keep her where she is for now. She seems to be doing well, is happy, and has friends. If she outgrows her school you can always look at 11+.

DaisyTheUnicorn · 25/03/2022 06:09

I wouldn't move her. She is happy and doing well and although you say you'll m
Keep in touch it never quite works that way.

She is obviously being supported to do well so I would leave her.

Fucket · 25/03/2022 06:22

I would have a chat with current school. Is your dd being challenged enough? Do her school books show she is getting all the work correct straight away or does it show mistakes and therefore active learning in lessons. Is the homework giving her similar challenges? If not the case for moving schools becomes stronger.

If a child is settled, responding to the schooling, actively learning, happy and you can afford the fees then there is no point IMO.

Also I should imagine much like grammar schools the reason the GCSE stats are near perfect is because the students are academically selected to almost ensure that. The best grammars around here practically force students out and give them a nervous breakdown if they don’t get the top marks consistently. Some kids love that kind of competitive learning, others not so much.

The independent school I work at often gets students who’ve come from these grammar schools who’ve had the confidence knocked out of them, and are too anxious to concentrate on their studies.

Tidlo · 25/03/2022 06:33

Your poor daughter with a parent that has such messed up priorities.

JustMaggie · 25/03/2022 06:38

My father used to say "The cream always rises to the top." If your DD is doing well academically, has all her needs met and is happy then she'll do well wherever you put her. I think moving her now is tricky. I would think about moving her at the 11+.

DaffTheDoggo · 25/03/2022 06:41

We had a similar issue at a later point. In the end we agreed DS could stay where he was - the minor benefit of the slightly more prestigious and academic school was outweighed by the disadvantage of moving him against his will, the risk that he wouldn’t settle in etc etc.

VeronicaVanHoopen · 25/03/2022 06:44

I have two children at EC (one boy, one girl). I assume you're moving her from BHS. For me there is no comparison between those two schools and it would be a no-brainer to move her (I went to a GDST school btw). I'm happy to chat to you on private message if you want to send me a message.

Petronus · 25/03/2022 06:46

Well I think you’re mad to even think about it. You have a happy, well adjusted 7 year old who is doing excellently, why would you change that? And she’s right about the friendships they won’t prove sustainable. Do all this at 11 when everyone moves school anyway.

MsMarple · 25/03/2022 06:50

If your daughter’s current school isn’t academically selective, then those grades seem very good. She’s only 7 though - why not leave her where she is and re-assess the situation at 11+ age when potentially other friends might also be moving school?
It will be less traumatic and you will also get the chance to consider a couple of years worth of recent normal exam results rather than teacher-assessed grades.

Blimecory · 25/03/2022 06:50

Keep her where she is and move her at 11. It’s a no-brainer. It really won’t matter academically, and she’ll be happier. A happy child will thrive.

Miss2018 · 25/03/2022 06:53

I believe evidence shows that girls perform better in a single sex environment and boys in a co-Ed environment so there is every possibility that she would perform better academically at the school she is in now than a co-Ed school. I also wouldn’t move her if she’s not ready to move. I know she’s too young to be making big decisions, but to be pulled out of a school you are doing very well in, with friends you love, will have a huge impact on her life and I would take her feelings into account.

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