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Primary education

Join our Primary Education forum to discuss starting school and helping your child get the most out of it.

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Original poster

Moving 7 years old at year 3 to prestigious independent school!

90 replies

sindysindysindy · 24/03/2022 00:27

Hi,
My daughter is 7 years old, she is currently in lovely girls (GDST) school that has a very nuturing environment with great postoral care. She loves her school, friends and teachers a lot. We spend time with her classmates outside the school as well. All most all parents became friends we meet and let the kids have play date at least once in a week. Luckly we all live local so my daughter also goes to swimming and violin lessons with her best friend. They spend so much time together. We have no problem with the school as I mentioned above but we wanted to try 7+ exams for other independent school that known as more selective and academic then my daughters current school. She did really well in all exams, she had 3 offers from other independent schools. We were so happy when we received the results and we decided on the most prestigious local independent school and paid the deposit as well. But my daughter doesn't want to change her school, she doesn't want to move! She keep saying she will miss her friends and school a lot. I tried to explain her that she can still see/meet her friends but she says its not going to be same. She is very bright and academic little girl, basically best in the classroom. I believe academically other school will suit her better but I do not want to make her sad. I checked the previous GSCE grades, my daughters school did %79, and other school %94 for 5 GSCE in grades A*-B. Do you think if she goes to more academic school she will get higher grades? Or she will do good anywhere? Actually we can also try 11+ but far less likely as greater competition. Ofcourse she may not get in. If she doesn't get any offer she can stay in her current school up to 18. Yesterday I told her that I need to give notice to her school and she cried a lot. We a pay a lot for private school so while paying it i want my daughter to take best results. But she is going to feel sad whats the point. Pros and cons both ways and feels like such a big decision.

WWYD?

OP posts:

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ilovebencooper · 25/03/2022 08:37

Please leave your happy thriving child where she is. She can move at 11 if you still want her to.

Volterra · 25/03/2022 08:41

I don’t think leaving a child in a school where she is happy at the rather tender age of 7 is showing a lack of ambition. She’s so young and there is plenty of time. A good, nurturing foundation now will go a long way and the OP can reevaluate at 11 or 13 and also at 6th form as they change so much along the way.

Admittedly I have no idea what a GDST school is but if she is doing well and happy it sounds decent. Personally I would be unhappy with the ratio of girls to bits at the other school as well.

OberthursGrizzledSkipper · 25/03/2022 08:51

I moved 2 of my boys at 7 and we didn't look back, BUT they moved from a school with zero pastoral care to nurturing schools.

In your case I would not move a happy child from a nurturing local school to one with majority boys at 7. Leave her where she is and reassess at 11 or 13.

newsibling123 · 25/03/2022 08:59

@Whinge

but her destination school is in a different league - its one of the best schools in the country, it ranks better than household name ancient public schools like Dulwich College, her current school isn't.

None of that matters if the child is miserable.

A child's haappiness is more important than attending a prestigious school.

I'm so sick and tired of this constant debate- it comes up whenever debates like this come up, Why in Gods name would I spend over 15K a year in a school that isn't geared for brighter than average children??

Because that's the point isn't it, the OP is making a huge financial commitment , she wants to make sure her money is being used wisely.

Why would a bright child be miserable at a school geared for brighter children??

newsibling123 · 25/03/2022 09:01

@Volterra

Admittedly I have no idea what a GDST school is but if she is doing well and happy it sounds decent. Personally I would be unhappy with the ratio of girls to bits at the other school as well.

I agree the DD should move at 11, but so many posters on here wading in with no idea of the schools involved, the London private school scene and the fact the OP is in the private school system.

In real terms she's spending around 20K a year to keep her in a GDST, hasn't she got the right to question if its best to keep her child there for gods sake??

Volterra · 25/03/2022 09:06

What is a GDST?

SirVixofVixHall · 25/03/2022 09:11

@Volterra

Personally nothing on earth would make me move a 7 year old who was in a nurturing environment, has friends and is happy.

I feel the same. I think you should leave her where she is, it sounds great !

SirVixofVixHall · 25/03/2022 09:12

@Volterra

What is a GDST?

Girls Day School Trust.

Volterra · 25/03/2022 09:17

newsibling123 my DS is a ‘bright child* and walked out of local Grammar School 6th form open day as he felt he would be completely miserable. It provoked a very strong reaction from him which is quite unusual for him - I was quite surprised when he said ‘I hate it’ out of the blue on the way home.

There are many shades of grey in a child’s education, things aren’t as black and white as we often think they are at the start of a child’s education.

Goldbar · 25/03/2022 09:20

Why would you move a secure, happy child from a lovely, nurturing girls' school which is local to you to a school farther away where the vast majority of the pupils are boys? It will have a completely different feel to it, the education is likely to be geared towards the boys and the girls may be something of an after-thought. This could go very wrong.

newsibling123 · 25/03/2022 09:31

OP would be wise to search under MN for the new school opinions from current parents who know the school since it went co-ed.

Other top boys public day schools have become co-ed in the past few years, and this school has admitted girls in the 6th form for many years.

bananabuddy3 · 25/03/2022 16:03

I work in a private school. A couple of years ago (just before covid) we had a drop in 11 plus results. We send a large amount to the local state grammars each year. That year, grammar entrants dropped. As a result, several parents panicked about academic standards and ran to other preps. The year after they flew back up again. That particular year group had just always been lower achieving in an academic sense, just how those children were for a whole combination of factors. Progress added was amazing. The brightest of the group still passed with flying colours.

I went to a state comprehensive with around 65% A* - C pass rate. I got all A plus grades and went to university. Your daughter can still achieve those top grades at her school if she is bright and works hard.

In all honesty, I’ve seen several happy children who have made outstanding progress be pulled out to another prep. Sometimes out of fear that our school isn’t “the best” and academic standards aren’t “the best” , some are just sheep who listen to others and follow, and some are just genuinely unhappy and the don’t think the school suits their child, which is true, no school is perfect for every child.

I personally just think a child who is only 7 years old, who is happy in their environment and has friends and loves their school should be left alone. Not pulled out for worry of exam results that aren’t for almost a decade. She could be fine or she could end up miserable in her new school. The efforts of the school could be one major factor in why she’s so confident in the first place. I would leave her be.

newsibling123 · 25/03/2022 16:30

@Volterra

There are many shades of grey in a child’s education, things aren’t as black and white as we often think they are at the start of a child’s education.

16 compared to 7 ? At 16 I'd be prepared for my DD to move school and have little say in her choice, not at 7.

Volterra · 25/03/2022 16:40

Newsibling123 - that was in answer to why would a bright child be miserable at a school geared for brighter children ie. it's not always clear cut and depends on the individual child .

newsibling123 · 25/03/2022 17:04

@Volterra

Newsibling123 - that was in answer to why would a bright child be miserable at a school geared for brighter children ie. it's not always clear cut and depends on the individual child .

I agree, and I'm not against what you're saying. I think it's skeward when a parent is paying huge sums to educate their child, that's all.

A child happy at an outstanding state primary is a no brainer, but she's at a fee paying school, and I understand the OP is questioning if her money is best spent. Like many others I think 11+ may be better if the DC is really against moving and she'll be more mature.

IrishMumInLondon2020 · 25/03/2022 17:10

What would I do? Chill out. She’s seven years old.

Aria999 · 26/03/2022 22:00

@Volterra

Personally nothing on earth would make me move a 7 year old who was in a nurturing environment, has friends and is happy.

This.

SouthLondonMommy · 27/03/2022 13:03

It really depends on the school she's in but I wouldn't make the decision based on league tables as this is often just a reflection of how selective the school is rather than if individual pupils are achieving their potential.

The fact she's settled and happy is a major pull. If you are really worried about the academics see if you can find out:

Does her current school do a good job at stretching the most able even with a mixed ability cohort? Take a look at their ISI reports which usually discussed progress made by different cohorts within the school based on ability using internal tracking data.

When comparing the secondary school results, look at both schools' value-add scores which is published data and gives a better sense of the quality of teaching rather than just the quality of the intake.

Its very hard not to get caught up in chasing prestige but often times that's not in the best interest of the children involved and a more holistic view serves them better.

passport123 · 28/03/2022 11:34

If moving now means not having to do the 11+ it's worth it. what are the two schools?

Partyatnumber10 · 28/03/2022 11:58

Firstly, the higher academic results at school 2 are a red herring. They're selecting the most able students so are bound to have better results. It doesn't mean their teaching is better.

Secondly, bright, well supported children will do well wherever they are. Do you feel she's not being challenged or hasn't got a peer group at the same stage as her? If that's the case, try talking to school 1 and seeing what they can offer.

I would be inclined to prioritise happiness, confidence and security over academic potential at this stage. If she loses confidence and fails to settle at this stage then that'll be much harder to recover from than coasting a bit academically.
Plus, she's right her friendships won't be the same. Shared experience is important in friendships.

roastedsaltedpeanut · 28/03/2022 12:13

If she is as academically capable and happy as you say, I would keep her where she is. At 7 years old it is more important to develop her social skills than academic. Indies dont offer much more than excellent state school at this age for bright and capable children. They are practically doing the same things and follow the same curriculum. Sounds like you are doing great extra curriculum activities too.

In my opinion some independent schools really shine by having exemplary teachers for A levels. All the students are keen and eager to learn so the teaching staff could focus on teaching as opposed to disciplinary. Coupled with extra curriculum activities, residential trips and good onsite sporting facilities. None of which really benefit primary aged children.

ukborn · 28/03/2022 12:31

I moved my daughter in y2 due to us moving house and it took a couple years for her to settle.
Frankly the stats are irrelevant - if your daughter is high achieving she will do well at the school she's at now. If it was something like 30% then I'd think there was something going on with the teaching. But that's not the case.
If she's happy and settled I'd keep her where's she's at. Where do the girls go in Y7? If she got those offers now she will probably get them for entry to secondary.

erinaceus · 30/03/2022 10:43

It might not seem like the done thing, but are you able to have a conversation with her current school about your concerns? I don't think you need to get into the ins and outs of league tables, but if you mention that you not certain that your daughter is fulfilling her potential or being stretched enough (or whatever your concern is) to the point that you are considering moving her, the school might be able to work with you towards a situation which you are all happier with.

If she is happy, settled and has lots of friends then it would make more sense to keep her where she is now and perhaps look at moving her when she is 11.

Another option is to discuss with the schools you have places at whether they have any insight into what her chances are if she does go onto apply for 11+ in a few years time. They might have some sense of her likely trajectory from her current exam performance. Of course they would likely want to have her now but they also want what is best for her now and in the future.

frost8bite · 29/07/2022 09:54

What did you decide in the end OP? I feel like this will be me next year assuming DS gets a place

acca2017 · 29/07/2022 11:20

@frost8bite hi, may I learn which GDST school your daughter goes to?

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