How behind is my daughter? Year one.

[Failingyearone]

She’s in year one, but she is an older one. Six soon. She’s reading blue band fairly capably and I think she’s doing ok ish in maths. I’d say she is probably average to slightly below average ability overall but she has had - as they all have - pandemic disruption, periods of isolation and she wouldn’t do much with me at home so I think she is more behind than she might have been.

She wrote this independently- froo is through 🙄 and the last sentence says ‘He sinks in the water.’
Oh and scwishee is squishy. Apparently in the story the bus arrives in a sparkly present? I have read the book but cannot remember it.

Her brother is much more able than her and I know they all have their ‘ceiling’ but I am concerned that she is going to fall further behind.

She's doing great!

She does not sound behind at all. I’ve got a year 1 child who is exceeding and writing is much harder for her than anything else. It is normal for them to be writing phonetically. This cohort of children have lost out a lot and apparently is one of the years that ofsted is particularly concerned about. Arguably they missed a lot of their nursery and formative education which will no doubt be having an effect.

Like others, I do think you need to address your negativity towards your children’s likely outcomes. If you don’t believe in them, who else will?

@Failingyearone

Lots of people don’t do very well in life. Myself included. I know this is mumsnet where most children are high achieving but that is not reflective of the real world. She’s pretty happy in school, which is good. Hopefully once she has her glasses that will help her too.

Surely you must see that not even 6 years old is awfully early to be thinking that she may not 'do well' in life? Lots of people have said that she's doing fine, better than fine in fact, that she's where she should be, maybe even a bit further on and you've barely acknowledged it, you seem stuck in this idea that she's behind and not very bright. Saying she 'failed' her eye test, like it's something she can control. Is everything ok OP?

Year 1 HLTA. I’ve not read many replies, OP. She’s doing fine, better than some of my Year 1 (oldest class). She’s showing most of the year 1 writing features: capital letters, finger spaces and full stop. Yes her letter formation could use some work but this will come with practice and there’s so much time. Please don’t worry!

Your username is dreadful.

Have a word with yourself.

@SaveWaterDrinkGin

Your username is dreadful.

Have a word with yourself.

This.

I think you need to be your DD's cheerleader and stop comparing her to her brother. Start focusing on her as an individual. I'm sure the school will let you know if there are any problems.

If you're concerned (and it doesn't sound necessarily like you should be), can you think of some ways to support her while developing her interests at home?

What does she like doing at home? Baking? Playing games? Colouring in? Painting? Cutting and sticking? Playing in the bath? Can you spend some time having fun with her at home doing things she enjoys and maybe incorporate some writing practice into them - writing recipes, labelling her drawings, using bath crayons in the bath, making and writing Christmas cards to her friends?

Oh my god your username is too sad. Your poor child.

Multiple people have told you that she is perfectly on track and there's no reason to believe she's 'behind'. You cannot 'fail' year one and your username is really sad 😞

Will you take that on board?

@OldSoho

Lovely application of known phonics - yes, even froo, which you take strange objection to. I could read it without a problem, she's using full stops, finger spaces and capital letters appropriately. Decent piece of independent work for this stage in Y1. Probably somewhere a little above average in my experience.

I love her take on scwishee, she recognises that the double e will give a long e sound and the words she is using, however she spells them, are very good for her age.

It's fine. And yes, the naughty bus does get given to the boy wrapped up in a sparkly box. It's at the start of the book.

Really don't worry. Yr1 children have also missed a huge percentage of their schooling

@regularbutnamechangedd

Why the 🙄 after correcting the (very common at that age) spelling error?

That's the thing that troubles me here, not your child's literacy.

I completely agree

Did anyone question her eyesight? I didn't notice that (ironically) - only a small comment on presentation. Your response to that comes over incredibly defensively.

I worry her confidence will go and that will harm her performance more than any of the things you are flagging as concerning.

Which I don't think are an issue, by the way.

Yes she failed the school eye test they have.
That’s how the form phrased it ‘failed eye test’
She has reduced vision in both eyes.

I will see if glasses help her.
At least she doesn’t seem to be as behind as I thought she might be.

She's not behind at all OP, can't you see that this the comments here?

Typo - see that in the comments on here

She will do well in life if she feels valued for who she is.

Seems fine, I had one who at the beginning of year one could write paye lonv essays, read proper chapter books (eg lion the witch and the wardrobe I remember from that year) etc and one who couldn't spell her own name still ... same parents, same extracurricular activities. They are all different

@Failingyearone

Yes she failed the school eye test they have. That’s how the form phrased it ‘failed eye test’ She has reduced vision in both eyes.

I will see if glasses help her.
At least she doesn’t seem to be as behind as I thought she might be.

Glasses will massively help her!! She may we'll be see

She may well see everything blurred. Or barely see at all!

Cautionary tale:
My parents moved onto a new build estate when I was at uni. Their neighbours were a lovely, tell it like it is, couple with an adult son a couple of years older than I was. I never met the son, but I knew from talking to them how much he struggled and how he would never amount to much, such a shame for the poor guy.

Anyway, a few years later they were having a party and the whole street was invited. I was in the country visiting my parents so was invited too. I nearly fell over when I met this charming young man who could talk about anything and found out he was THE son. The way the parents described you wouldn’t imagine him even being able to function without organised support.

He was just a regular guy. Another neighbour saw me, mouth agape and laughed “not what you expected? Yeh I was expecting two heads too the way the mother describes him.” Their negativity Judy didn’t match up.

Just imagine what it was like for him growing up under the expectation that you will and are ‘failing’.

Op even if the work hadnt been goid, they can make a lot of progress against expectations and peers.
In y1 dc1 only got not met for maths. I was surprised she didnt seem bad at it.
By y4 dc was within top 25th centile on the school testing against national levels. And coming out at met.
I would say y1 you don't really know yet.
Dc2 may exceed for maths but is struggling more reading. She is logical and reading/writing isnt. But im sure she will get there. Also other dc are higher band booksbut continued to be books during the reception lockdown (we missed 8w of books. ) so it seems like those kids are brighter but it wont be clear until y2 as the home schooled ones catch up. We are still covering phonic sounds which dc1 picked up quickly in reception.

My eldest was years ahead reading but others do catch up. It requires commitment to daily reading still. A friend was saying their dc needs to read a page... They cannot end up with the same vocabulary when comparing to say 20-40min a day reading.

I feel like you are pushing for self fulfilling prophecy for some reason.

Try to create some higher expectations for your children and yourself. Your life hasn't reached an end point and you can achieve lots going forward. Your children have their whole life ahead of them. They can achieve so much.