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Primary education

Join our Primary Education forum to discuss starting school and helping your child get the most out of it.

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Original poster

Son can't write his name

72 replies

LivingForPinkGin · 08/11/2021 16:12

Hi everyone

My son started primary school in September, he is one of the youngest in the class (June birthday). I have picked him up a few times and been met with his teacher saying that he can not write his full name and he really should be able to do this by now and we need to work harder with him. He can write his first name but not his surname.

We have tried to encourage this more but me and my dh work full time so by the time we get home it is getting close to 6pm and ds just does not engage with trying to do this. Anyway my mum picked him up today and again she was told that he can not write his name and said the teacher seemed almost annoyed when she told her.

I suposed we need to do more work with him at the weekend but I am really getting worried now. Is this normal? He went to a private nursery where they did not teach writting or reading. He has been there 2 months should he really be able to do this by now??

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MimieD · 08/11/2021 16:19

Don't worry about this at all! Can't believe the teacher keeps mentioning this....he's only 4. There should be no pressure on him, or you, at all. Both my DDs could not write their last name in reception; all kids would just write their first name on their work and maybe the initial of last name if they had more than 1 kid with same first name in class.

Smeds · 08/11/2021 16:28

I've just asked my 6 yo to write her last name and she got a letter wrong. Its not something she ever has to do at school. They all write their first name on work. I really wouldn't be worrying, as long as he can write his first name.

SingingSands · 08/11/2021 16:39

Why does a four year old, in his first term at school, need to write his full name?!

I'd have a word with the teacher and ask her why she seems annoyed.

perfectpanda · 08/11/2021 16:41

Blimey. My 4 year old in reception- I'm not sure he even knows his last name!! And he will only write his abbreviated short name. His teachers haven't ever raised it as an issue and just got very excited when he tried to write a 3 letter word last week.

MonkeyPuddle · 08/11/2021 16:42

My June born 4 year old has a six letter first name, he can do the first three, it’s not phonetic his name so I think that’s why he struggles with it.
They’ll get there.

Hm2020 · 08/11/2021 16:44

I’m not sure my ds knew his last name at that age never mind could write it. For what it’s worth I have an august born boy and it really showed in reception in year 3 he’s meeting or exceeding expectation in all areas. Give him time.

Missmissmiiiiiiiiisss · 08/11/2021 16:46

At my child’s school they only started practising their names just before half term and only about half have got it, from what parents have said. This is just first names.

I don’t think you should be worried at all. Practise with him at home in fun ways.

purpleme12 · 08/11/2021 16:50

I don't understand this
My child learnt how to do her first name at 4 and a half (so after yours and no one had any concerns!)
I don't even know when she could write both but I think it was a long time after that!!

RenegadeMrs · 08/11/2021 16:51

My DD is also 4, started school in Sept. She too can write her first name but not her surname (9 letters long!). Her teacher has not mentioned it at all. In fact, we had a parent education meeting where they showed us the difference in bone development in a 5 yr old and 7 yr olds hands. They said to encourage activities to build hand strength like colouring & playdoh and not to stress too much about it.

LynetteScavo · 08/11/2021 16:52

Most DC don't write their surname at that stage of Reception. The teacher sounds really odd. If children can recognise and write their first name at this stage it's all good. Having said that, it would hurt him to gently work on it if he's happy to. Or just firmly tell the teacher you're working on his hand muscle development for now, and you're sure his ability to write his full name will follow soon. Then ask her if she's new to Early Years.

Original poster

LivingForPinkGin · 08/11/2021 16:56

Thank you so much for all of your replies, they have made me feel so much better. I am going to have a word with her this week I think. He cant even hold his pen properly yet so obviously he finds it hard writting his full name.

He was one of the only children to this school who didnt go to the school nursery so maybe the rest of them started a bit earlier but I was not expecting this much pressure so soon. I know he will get there eventually.

OP posts:

LynetteScavo · 08/11/2021 17:06

If he can't hold his pencil properly yet I'd definitely ask her what she's doing about that to see what she says!

ImFree2doasiwant · 08/11/2021 17:08

Ds2 is 4 and can write his first name in letters about 4ft high. Pretty sure he's never been asked to write his surname

bobsholi · 08/11/2021 17:12

My DD has a name that even her teachers struggle to spell so I've let the poor thing down already Honestly, it's really not something I'd be worried about at just turned 4. My DSs didn't write their full names until 5/6ish.

StandardLampski · 08/11/2021 17:13

I written my son's name inside his hat and today he asked what thr other letter was for.... his surname...

And it occurred to me he didn't know his full name 😆

Started reception in Sept

Ridley4 · 08/11/2021 17:27

My son still couldn’t read or write aged 6. He just wasn’t interested at that age. He caught up within a few years and graduated with a great degree. I think we make children focus on reading and writing too early in the UK - they learn so much through play and I feel you can put them off learning if you force it too much

toothache3000 · 08/11/2021 17:30

@LynetteScavo

If he can't hold his pencil properly yet I'd definitely ask her what she's doing about that to see what she says!

This! Ask her what she is doing about his gross and fine motor skills to improve his pen grip. She is the teacher after all, it's kind of her job. And I say this as a fellow teacher...

Rover83 · 08/11/2021 17:34

I think this may be a government target or something as our school expect it to be achieved by the end of this term for my reception child. She has hypermobile finger joints and really struggles to hold a pencil so is a long way from writing her name. Our school sent home a laminated cut out of the letters in her name and a laminated thing that showed her how to write her name. We practice every other day and she doesn't seem to have made any progress at all

Bunnycat101 · 08/11/2021 19:14

Judging by the class Christmas cards last December… there was one child who had writing that would put most grown ups to shame, lots that attempted to write their name, a few that did some illegible and a good chunk where parents wrote. I’d imagine most would be writing their full name beautifully.

Cooperjay · 08/11/2021 19:26

My 6 year old Y2 still can't spell our surname. It's a tricky one to be fair and she always mistakenly uses an alternative ending for it which would give the same sound. Teacher had never mentioned it but I doubt she's ever noticed because I don't think she's often asked to write it in school!

I would arrange a meeting with the teacher to discuss this so you aren't just catching each other at the door etc. I would say you don't feel this is an age appropriate target and ask why they are focussing on this at this stage. Definitely ask how they are supporting with pen grip too.

moimichme · 08/11/2021 19:26

I agree with a PP that there is far too much focus on the academic side of things in the UK. Whilst of course it wouldn't be an issue if he wanted to write his full name, it's rather early to expect it. The early years - especially reception - should focus on social and emotional development, motor skills and learning through play rather than sitting them in rows to do phonics etc. because there's plenty of time for that later.

Driposaurus · 08/11/2021 19:28

My son in year 1 can write his name but the first letter is the wrong way around.

He might get the first letter of his surname.

The school are bonkers

moimichme · 08/11/2021 19:29

^ Not saying all reception teachers do sit them in rows to work, but I wish none did!

liveforsummer · 08/11/2021 19:30

I had an argument back in June with dd over how to spell her surname - it was her final term of primary before moving to high school. She's dyslexic and her name is quite long and not British, but still! Anyway, there's absolutely no way she'd have known how to write it without any support at 4 or even 5. Strange the teacher is so focussed on it

Bobholll · 08/11/2021 19:34

I don’t think my 4 year old even knows what her surname is 😂 She can write her first name quite well but I’ve never really considered teaching her her surname 🙈 She’s the only one with her name in her class so I don’t think she needs it just yet!

Your sounds like he’s doing just fine. What’s the ethos of your school? Is it quite academic? Is it an outstanding school pushing for high achievers? That’ll probably give you a clue.. or it may just be the one teacher!

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