Son can't write his name

[LivingForPinkGin]

Hi everyone

My son started primary school in September, he is one of the youngest in the class (June birthday). I have picked him up a few times and been met with his teacher saying that he can not write his full name and he really should be able to do this by now and we need to work harder with him. He can write his first name but not his surname.

We have tried to encourage this more but me and my dh work full time so by the time we get home it is getting close to 6pm and ds just does not engage with trying to do this. Anyway my mum picked him up today and again she was told that he can not write his name and said the teacher seemed almost annoyed when she told her.

I suposed we need to do more work with him at the weekend but I am really getting worried now. Is this normal? He went to a private nursery where they did not teach writting or reading. He has been there 2 months should he really be able to do this by now??

@Helena2022, your reception teacher should be ashamed at how she approached this.
with such a late birthday i'm sure your son is doing just fine at this stage.
please try and remember his pre-school years as the happy outdoor times it was.
he well get stronger and better able to manage school, he has several years ahead.

Does he need to apply for a job or a loan?
She needs to chill out. I taught reception last year and I had a few who at this stage couldn’t hold a pencil let alone make meaningful marks. Just encourage him to draw and maybe get one of those maze books so he can improve his coordination. Also play dough is great for strengthening their hands - I did play dough gym with my class - YouTube and great fun.

Mine couldn't at that age. His nursery teacher had me really stressing about him but he got 3 x A* at A level this summer! Worry not.

He is four.

There are children in American schools who will end up in Harvard and Yale who can't write their names at four. Or even five. It's not something American teachers would expect at four. Children don't start formal school until five there.

What exactly do they teach in child development courses in British teacher training?

And as for 'blending better by now' - that's ridiculous.

Again, they expect children to be blending when they're closer to six in American schools.

One of my friends sons found it hard to button his coat. He had poor pen grip also and general problems with coordination. The school noticed his problems and referred him to an occupational therapist who deals with children in the local area.
The occupational therapist who got him to do different things with his hands. They gave his mother different exercises that she could do at home with him. The exercise helped with pen grip and built up his hands strength.
Today this child is in secondary school and has beautiful writing.

Whoops, just noticed the date. Zombie thread alert!

But still a relevant reply because @Helena2022 revived the thread with very similar concerns.

I agree 100% with @mathanxiety. That sort of pressure on such little tiny kids is insane! The teacher needs to nurture, not compare.

Apologies in advance for the essay but this is just so wrong. There's far too much pressure on kids to develop at a uniform rate in the English school system.

We moved to Canada when my DS1 was turning 6. He'd been struggling with basic reading and writing in his English primary school. He basically repeated a year once we moved (he was put in a class of children who were the same age as him but they start school later in Canada) and he still wasn't excelling, but at least he was finally keeping up with his peers. The most important difference was that he loved attending school over here, with little pressure and far more play.

He jumped from struggling to read at all (finding even the easiest "beginner-reader" books very difficult) to reading chapter books in the space of about 6 months, at age 7, but it was only once he was finally ready.

The fact that he could barely read at age 7 didn't stop him from turning into a complete bookworm and winning a full tuition scholarship to do his undergrad degree. Now he has the same for his chosen grad program, with about $20k of scholarship funds left over after his fees are paid.

I'm certain that the reason he's won these awards is because of his attitude to studying (a direct result of him considering learning to be such a fun experience) every bit as much as his late developing intelligence.

He's a sensitive soul and if he'd continued to be told that his work wasn't good enough by teachers I know that we'd have struggled to keep his confidence levels up. He could so easily have been discouraged and ended up dreading going to school...

They're tiny little kids, not robots

Teacher sounds barmy. My DC (one of the older ones in the year) can have a go at writing their name but sometimes gets the letters the wrong way round. They are presently being sent home with a few letter sounds to practice and books without any words for me to talk about with them. I think this is fairly standard, although obviously there are a few who are further ahead. I'm not worried 😀. Writing their full name is on the list of things to work towards by the end of the year.

I’d try to teach them their full name so they recognise it and could make it from letters provided to them (magnets etc.).

As others have said, hand development is not ready for “neat” writing at such a young age.

My summer born DS was definitely one of the worst writers in reception (despite being in the top reading group) and although he knew the letters his pencil control was not good! It’s much better a year later in year 1, and I think general life (play doh, Lego, climbing) have all played their part in this rather than just practicing writing.

Weird. Ours never practised their surname then, I can’t actually remember when they started doing that but certainly not at the beginning of reception.

Don't try teaching anything. It won't make a difference until his brain is developed enough to grasp what he is learning.

Hothousing even in one specific area is a complete waste of time and energy and just interferes with the child's relationship with the parent.

Mark Twain said, "Don't try and teach a pig to sing. It's a waste of your time, and it annoys the pig." Apologies for the comparison of your child to a pig, but you get the gist.

Your child will learn to spell and write his own name when his brain is ready.

Thank you for all your messages it has really helped me. I felt like a failure of a mother to my son. I came home and researched the internet all night long typing in what, how, behaviours of a 4 year old, all sorts of things just to understand where I was going wrong. He is my first born so I did not think anything of it. I thought this was a behaviour of a 4 year old. I understand pre-school was all
play and not enough learning but I did not want to pull him out of the school and settle him into another school. I was told by the teacher today that he does not engage during certain periods, he tends to wonder around the class and sometimes he likes to lie down on a beanbag. He isn’t an aggressive or a misbehaved child he listens and writes when the teacher tells him to but the attention span is very short they have asked me to contact a speech and language therapist because they are still saying his speech isn’t clear. I can have a conversation with him he tells me what he wants, likes etc what should I do about his speech?

Thank you for your reply it has really helped me.

Thank you for all your messages it has really helped me. I felt like a failure of a mother to my son. I came home and researched the internet all night long typing in what, how, behaviours of a 4 year old, all sorts of things just to understand where I was going wrong. He is my first born so I did not think anything of it. I thought this was a behaviour of a 4 year old. I understand pre-school was all
play and not enough learning but I did not want to pull him out of the school and settle him into another school. I was told by the teacher today that he does not engage during certain periods, he tends to wonder around the class and sometimes he likes to lie down on a beanbag. He isn’t an aggressive or a misbehaved child he listens and writes when the teacher tells him to but the attention span is very short they have asked me to contact a speech and language therapist because they are still saying his speech isn’t clear. I can have a conversation with him he tells me what he wants, likes etc what should I do about his speech?

Thank you for your message it has really helped me so I’m not a complete useless mom. 👍

My daughters 7 and can’t write her last name. I probably should get on that really. I def would not worry at age 4!

Thank you for your reply I will try practising with my son some of your suggestions like buttoning his own shirt

Ooh don't admit this on the baby names board 😂😂

Sheesh.

I haven't taught Reception for a few years now, but I vividly remember having children who could do no more than put a few circles and lines on a page at the start of the year. By the end of the year, you'd be flicking back to the start and marvelling at the amount of progress they'd made - even just being able to know and form some letters correctly and consistently was such a difference from the start of the year!

And I'm not sure I ever asked a Reception child to write their surname!

What a crock of shit! Sorry I have been. Reception teacher and About half the class last year could write their name!