Should I delay my daughter's school start date?

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Help!!
I'm feeling desperately overwhelmed at the prospect of my daughter starting school this September when she turns 4 in August 31st.
I was hoping for people's pros and cons, personal experiences and in particular those with August babies of all years. Primarily I want to defer and her start reception next year, not go straight into year 1
I'm not worried about reception, but the longer term. She is so small, still wears age 2 clothes and is academically very bright but I worry about her emotionally being a year younger than her peers particularly into secondary school.

Can you defer so that she starts a year later? I thought that things had changed, and that this was now possible.

Reception is not about academics, it's mainly about training all the kids to behave and understand the concept of school.

Can she do half days for the first 6 months instead of full days?

We deferred our August born daughter, best thing we ever did. Shes about to go to year 3 now and turns 8 next week. She fits in well, she was small and emotionally immature at 4, shes confident, happy and has great friends now. No regrets and it doesnt bother her at all.

One of the girls in her class has a birthday on 31st August- shes struggled alot both academically and emotionally- she still does. Another has a birthday a few days before and is absolutely fine.

You do what you know is right either way. Feel free to ask me anything.

You can start her part time in reception. She's only legally obliged to be attending school full-time from the age of 5.

So you could easily have her attend 3 mornings a week, then let her stay for lunchtimes, then perhaps extend to 3 full days, over time if she's feeling up to it.

This is what I did with my DS, the school shouldn't really say no if that's what you want for her.

Hope this helps xx

Definitely defer if you can. Emotional and social readiness for school matters so much. Here, kids can start school at any age from 4 - 6. I've never met someone who said they started their child too late but I've met plenty that started too early.

I'm a teacher too. Reception is major I wouldnt advise half days, all phonics basis is learnt and basic number, afternoons are fun and friendship building so she needs it all.

@MilkCereal so was your child in a class with two other deferred children too? I want to do it but am struggling to get it so she goes into reception deferred and not straight into year 1

I'm August born as is dp, we turned out fine. In all seriousness there are upsides and downsides, she won't be a year younger than her class, just a few of them (my own DD's are both near Easter for instance). Birthday determines many things in school eg sports teams, maths competitions etc, if you delay her start she won't be eligible for the team her classmates are in. Another factor is that education is funding, it has different arrangements after 18 - who knows what future governments will fund. Finally she may not thank you as a teenager when other just 18 year old friends are off to university and she's still got another year. If there's sen or delays at least it might make sense but generally it is not recommended here

Watching this thread with interest as I have an end of August born son.
Is this the kind of thing parents can talk over informally with the reception teacher in advance? Is there any advice available about judging whether year group borderline children are ready?

My dd was born on the 30th August so started school the week after she turned 4. In my opinion she was ready. She had been in private nursery since she was 11 months old part time, full time from 3 years old. She's going into year 2 in September, no issues at all and is exactly where she should be academically, and even excelling in some areas. No regrets at all.

I would definitely defer in your shoes. I've done it and feel really good about my decision. We just needed the headteacher to okay it with the council which was an easy process but perhaps not all heads make it that way I'm not sure. DC starting reception having just turned 5. It is totally within your right and my DC is not the only one in their class to do this.

My friend has deferred her ds, he is also late August and starts this September when he will have just turned 5. Absolutely the right thing to do in their case and she said it was pretty easy and she didn't meet any resistance.

I didn't defer an August born and I'm glad I made the decision I did.

I do think parents should make their decisions on their individual child though, and I think some children really benefit from deferring. I've seen this with friends experiences.

All I would say is, as you said, don't skip reception. It's such a crucial year and they grow up so much and learn all of the foundations in terms of phonics etc but also social skills and emotional intelligence.

@RoseAndGeranium it depends but where I am they really are not supportive so it's difficult to have a measured unbiased conversation with them as the local authority as a whole are against it.

Really lovely to hear positive stories, I have emailed the council today to see if it's an option and will keep everything crossed!

Dd birthday is 20th august. Youngest jn class going into year 6 now. I'd say she struggled socially the first 3 years of school. Maturity levels were lower than her peers and she didn't really find her way with friendships for a while. I made a lot of effort (not really my usual preference lol) with the mums of the children she wanted to befriend and it's been a hard slog but she seemed to find her stride by year 4 and is now very popular and doesn't have the dreaded fall outs anymore. Academically she's always been one of the top children in the class and hasn't struggled at all. In terms of feeling happy at school, other than fall outs, she always has. My son is 30th July and going into y3. He's thrived socially and academically at school. You'd never know he was the youngest. Physically you can see with both of them that they are a lot smaller than most in class, but I'm quite small so thjnk they might just be diminutive anyway. Just letting know of my experience. I never considered deferring, mainly because why would I pay for another year of extortionate childcare. I wondered would they feel pressure to be the top of the class at everything if they were the oldest... my husband thinks we've had to work very hard to install a work ethic in both because they are youngest. He also thinks physically being so small my son is at a disadvantage but he's still glad we didn't defer.

I wish I'd deferred August born DS but primary head refused as he said the reception teacher could cater for all children's needs . Also check whether they will take children out of year at secondary or she could end up jumping from year 5 to year 7 if she has to be with her "correct" cohort for secondary. DS is about to go into year 8 but still noticably struggles.

August baby myself. Parents didn't even think about deferring. I thrived but that's not to say that others wouldn't. As a parent myself I would have given serious thought to deferring if I felt DC wasn't ready.

There is absolutely no downside to deferring. Unless you consider extra childcare costs for the year.
But generally - at 4 kids are way too young to start school. And difference between 4 and nearly 5 yos is huge. So extra year just gives your child a bit more time to mature.
And that can only help self confidence, and as a result - academic performance and success in life.

OP - of course many people who didn’t have a choice now say - my kid went at barely 4 and was OK. They were smaller but ready, etc.
They had no choice but to be as oK as they could be.

Now that parents have a choice - not sure why you’d not give your tiny kid an extra year of childhood. And a bit of the boost for further in life.
The performance gap at A levels still exists. Summer children do worse. And that is especially true for August born.

I had two very bright kids go through primary and both found it very boring by year 5/6 and were ready academically to move on long before the end of year 6. I wouldnt hold a very bright child back as they can find the pace of learning very slow as it is. I agree being the oldest can feel like a lot of pressure and expectation to be the best at everything. She wouldnt want to miss Year 6 though as there are lots of special events only Year 6 get to do residential, school play etc etc so you need to check when have to apply to secondary as she probably wouldnt thank you for missing that.

My DS is august born (4 this year) and I’ve delayed reception until next year and I have no doubts about it. We are talking days difference between august born and September born children so it’s not much different to a September born having to wait until they are 5 either, and nobody even questions whether September borns should go up a year if they are ready a year before. And you are right it’s not just about reception but other years. They will be just 5 in year 1 when others start turning 6, and so on.

I wouldn’t worry about secondary as these decisions always have to be in the child’s best interest and it would never be in their interest to skip year 6/7 when moving to secondary.

There is a good Facebook group for parents wanting to delay summerborn children with some very knowledgeable people if you definitely want to delay but you are having challenges with the LA. I don’t think it’s too late if it’s what you want.

If she's academically ready then that makes things much easier.

Will she cope with full days? Having said that, she might surprise you: my friend's July-born still had a nap (his choice) after lunch every day in September, when he was only half-days, but coped fine in October when he went full-time. My DD (August and prem) did get tired - fortunately I was part-time and the school were happy for her to have an afternoon off when tired - sometimes the teacher would suggest when I picked her up that we make the next day a half day. She had about one afternoon off a week for the first year.

Mine (now 15) is "emotionally younger" than some of her peers, but it's not a big deal, and there are plenty on her level (and plenty in the year below who are more "mature"). I went through school in the wrong year (I was younger by a few months), and didn't find it a problem either.

How much of your concern is actually you being worried about letting go? I notice you said that you're feeling "overwhelmed". Do her nursery have any concerns about her coping?

I'm not saying "don't defer her", but just suggesting it's not always the best thing. (I think I would actually have had problems with mine at home for another year, as she was so ready academically - I would have ended up effectively home-educating because she was ready to learn, although she'd still have gone to pre-school for the social side.)

We deferred our 31st august born so he'll be starting sept 2022 now instead, we did it a while back (may) so still after the proper cut off date which was January. It was a bit of a long process for us because the school wanted to assess him at home and in his pre school setting before they would agree, ultimately they did agree that he would benefit from another year at pre school and that he'd struggle in school.

He has a slight speech delay but other than that I think would have been fine, but because of that and his birthday we wanted to give him that extra time, his older brother his also a summer born but we didn't delay him, he was quite obviously ready for school and is thriving.

Have you been trying to delay her start for some time or have only just decided? I found we had to get approval from the local council and the school, council were fine but school more tricky.

Hi sorry no I difnt explain that very well. She has 2 friends in class who are about to turn 7 as she turns 8. 1 really still struggles academically and emotionally and is very young and its affected her confidence quite badly. The other is ok- average academically- did get extra help - most school offer extra help to the younger pupils to catch them up. But shes fine in every other way. My point was that each child is different.

Check out the Facebook group . I wrote to council explaining we would be deferring and explained why. Then contacted chosen school separately- I also have a written agreement that the county council will honour the year groups so she will go to year 6 at primary then year 7 in secondary with all her friends. Check about sports clubs too- my daughter was told it's on year groups not age. As is Beavers etc so none of that's affected.

Not all summer born children struggle. My son is September and his best friend is July - emotionally it took a bit of time for his friend to catch up but academically his friend has always done well & much better than my son.
I was a Reception teacher for years and I remember one year my best readers were summer born girls. There are a lot more factors to consider than just their birth date.

I’m an end of august person and it is fine. In fact it annoys me a bit when people make a fuss about it - I wasn’t a year younger than everyone! I was nearly a year younger than a couple of September people, but the same age as the other august people, a bit younger than the July people etc. You say she’s academically bright so holding her back seems unfair and somewhat pointless. I would only consider it if there were some suspected actual developmental issues or extra learning needs personally. I can see it’s nice to have your baby at home for a bit longer (we’d all like that!) but is it really in her interest- will she have to miss year 6, that would be awful? Being old for the year at secondary might be something she doesn’t thank you for - there might be a bit of a stigma and she might not like it. Are you an 11+ area - the score on that is age adjusted so if she does it a year later she’ll have to get a slightly higher score.