DS not wanting to go to school

[anna114young]

I am really upset. This morning my DS was crying, lying on the floor absolutely refusing to go to school. I pretty much had to carry him there.

I just don't know what to do! I felt like all the parents were looking at me and judging me as a mother. He's always found school difficult but my DD has always loved it. How can two children be so different?

DS is really struggling with his lessons, he is quite behind I believe in his reading but it doesn't feel like the school is that worried about him. It's getting to the point where I am debating home schooling him because I just can't do another morning like this morning.

What do I do?

Hey everyone - positive update from me!

So I came across Easyread - not sure if anyone knows of it. It popped up on my facebook and they had a free 10 lesson trial so I thought it was worth a go.

DS has LOVED IT! I can't express my joy at seeing him actually wanting to do something to do with reading. He actually asks ME if he can do his lessons! Theres lots of games like paintball and pinball which he loves.

It's because of this enjoyment and the fact he is actually engaging with the course that I have signed up to the full program. Fingers crossed this really helps his reading.

Just putting this here as I am sure I am not the only mum who has had a problem finding engaging reading programs for ds! Will update to let you all know how we get on!!!!

I don’t think the teachers can do much about his reading level. That is up to you. Are you able to read with him every day? This makes a HUGE difference. The more they read the better they are. I admit I don’t always read daily, but when I do read more often I see more progress.

If this persists, it would really be worth having him checked for dyslexia. It is not always a “reading” issue. It can be short term memory related , rapid naming etc etc. My son wasn’t diagnosed until he was 10, the SEN at a new school picked it up and he was referred. It takes a proper dyslexia specialist - we had it done privately as it was quicker and it wasn’t as expensive as it might imply- you also don’t need a referral - just concerns. He was so relieved when he understood why he was having difficulties - he was given some techniques to work with and also sent to an optician who specialises in dyslexia where his tracking was checked (it was all over the place) and he entered a regimen of checking and changing his prescription. By 16 his tracking was “normal”. He had been a frustrated student due to this, but went on to great academic achievement. ADD or ADHD can also be contributing factors. These require different tests.

Final thought, was your DS being bullied at school ? They don’t necessarily share this and it can be insidious. Good luck and I hope it’s just early term nerves.

@deslibris that's a really good point. Easyread have identified that DS has an eye tracking weakness which is probably why he has resisted reading. We are working on this with some exercises. Also they have noticed that he has a blending difficulty. So he knows the sounds but finds putting them together difficult. They have given us some exercises/games to do together to help him with that.

It's two smallish things, this tracking and blending issue but I am hopeful that if we fix these then reading might just feel a lot easier for him.

It's so good to finally know what it is about reading ds finds difficult.

Luckily ds is not being bullied, he has some great pals and he's always happy to see them outside of school! We've just got to get the school part cracked now!

Dyslexia manifests in many different ways - it's not "one" condition. Some kids read well, but really struggle with retaining information - short term memory, rapid naming etc. An optical tracking issue would indicate dyslexia. Optical adjustment is not the only thing though and so a formal diagnosis is always helpful. When I raised an issue aged 8, my DS was given a reading test by the school and judged to have a reading age of 14. He was actually dyslexic and some classic indications were being missed. This had a serious affect on his written output, there was a disparity between his performance verbally in class (top 20%) and in written tested conditions (lower 35%). Bright kids often "compensate" without even realising they are doing it, they often also have much greater visual acuity and this can mask the condition and schools then do not give it much credence. The problem is that it becomes more of an issue the more complex the work becomes as they move up the school if they are not receiving support.
We moved him to another school aged 9 and within a few weeks they recommended an SEN assessment and she suggested he was properly assessed for Dyslexia etc. It revealed dyslexia and dyspraxia. I will message you with the contact for the private (and rather excellent) dyslexia consultant we used in London.
Dyslexia can be helped and any diagnosis often takes the pressure off a child as they understand why they have issues.

Just wanted to update this thread as you were all so helpful to me before.

Huge news. DS has gone up 2 reading book bands!!!!! I can't believe it! He is so proud of his new books and came out of school with a big smile on his face!!!

I can't believe the difference in him, he walks taller!

Just read this whole thread and am thrilled to discover that youve started the exact thing i was thinking of recommending lol! My DD is very similar in her reading difficulties and although we never had school refusal she definitely had regular meltdowns about reading... but i have just done the 10 day trial of Easyread and i agree, the support is amazing !!! DD is already improving and I feel like I actually understand how to help her now... it's like a miracle lol !! So glad it worked for your son too

What a fabulous update! Well done for both of you!

Fantastic news. Happy to hear thanks for updating.