Not bashing, school have not been in contact at all, what should we do?

[drspouse]

Highly aware that teachers are under masses of pressure.
DH is KW and currently he's quarantining in the spare room (due to upcoming hospital appointment not symptoms), DS has SEN and his school have been great, loads of work packs, calling every day.
DD has been in on average one day a week but will do next to nothing at home. She's in Y1 and has an IEP.
Today she screamed for 10 minutes then read four pages, took 45 minutes to find 3 words in a word search, did crafts (she'd happily do only crafts, ever),

I emailed her teacher 10 days ago to say she was not coping. No reply. Not a single phone call the whole time she's been off. No emails.

We can't read some of the work set on the school website and the rest is too hard for her e.g. phonics way ahead of where she is, she's only just doing one more/one less. School said they were going to give the class the same choice boards in class, we asked the class teacher to let us know what she had done (she never tells us) on days she's in. No answer to that either.
What can we do now? I'm trying to work, she's learning nothing and just getting upset, DH can't help but she won't do anything for him normally anyway, she was already really behind!

My DS is like that with Alphablocks (we suspect he has inherited DH's dyslexia to some degree) - he liked and benefitted from numberblocks but stared/s at Alphablocks with a WTF expression, or wandered/s off. I hear you. Reading Eggs no good here either.

FWIW the following apps and resources have helped DS and he has reached expected levels in reading though writing is still very difficult.

• Nessy Letters and Nessy Phonics apps - multisensory, engaging, go at the child's pace (Teach your Monster didnt initially work for us as it went too fast though he likes it now)
• Mini whiteboards for writing and letter formation. The dyslexia shop have a wide selection, some blank, some with letters to trace on one side. He seems to find this more fun/less threatening than paper and mark making with a whiteboard pen is less physical effort too, if there is any fine motor issue. The tracing practice is gradually helping his letter formation and reversals issues.
• Project X Code and Project X Aliens books from Oxford reading Tree. The stories and illustrations are more engaging than Biff Chip and bloody Kipper, they start right from scratch and have an ongoing story arc to hook them in, they are strictly phonics based with adult led phonics practice pages within each book, and comprehension questions to discuss after reading. Available from Oxford or Amazon. You can try a sample free on Oxford Reading Tree b4 spending £££ on the packs.

For maths if you can chuck some money at the problem, manipulatives like Numicon or mathlink cubes might be a good investment. Getting them out every day and practising with her takes time, but no prep.

Drspouse in our small city we get none of that. The primaries are missing in action. One work sheet a day. No videos no zoom not even links to websites of others teaching no work submission no marking no contact no feedback. That’s our large primary friends with kids in the other primaries have the same.

See the “is my state school shit” thread sadly this is widespread!

Would those be better than just using her Lego?
Typical battle at the moment:
Let's do some numbers. Pop and get your Lego
NO IT'S TOO TRICKY. IT WILL TAKE FOR AGES.

I think that might be it with TYMTR, it moves fast and she just gives up thinking and guesses.
We have Hairy Letters but I'm not sure what the other ones teach so I'll see if she'd benefit.

Just go to YouTube search count in 2s songs and loads come up

My class loved the have fun teaching one, scratch garden ones or Jack Hartman.

It literally takes less than a minute to find them and they are short snappy cartoon type songs.

For maths, go back to the very beginning. Get 20 pieces of pasta. Start by working w 10 of them. Count them, add them, do one more, two more, simple subtraction. Do that until she's comfortable and getting it right then add in cards showing the numbers and use those in parallel with the pasta, doing the same thing. Then if she can get confident with numbers 1 to 10, do the same with 20 pieces of pasta.

Once / if she's comfortable adding and subtracting up to 20 you can look at sharing (still using 20) and number bonds to 20.

Hi,

Is it possible to look at the work being set for reception and follow that? We are differentiating work sent home so I'd expect some level of that.

Also,

Number blocks is a great educational show which is usually a winner with kids

grits teeth
See the rest of the thread.

OK
School should provide some learning. As your dd is Year 1, she is in theory allowed to return. As she has an IEP and some special needs, she is also vulnerable. Write a polite letter requesting a place after your dh quarantin ends either in the key worker bubble or the Y1bubble. You can also add that she is struggling to access online work.

If they say no, politely push for a reason. You could refer them to government guidance etc. Also ask for differentiated work that you collect from school each week and return completed. However, if you do ask for different work, you need to make sure you do it. I say this as a teacher who has been asked to print work or provide different work for those struggling with ICT, only to find that it remains in the school office as the parents don't collect it or that if it is delivered, it is not completed. Twinkl.com has lots of suitable Yr and Y1 resources. You won't find anything that doesn't require your input simply because children of this age cannot work alone, regardless of their ability.

I have a year 2 child and she can't do any of the work without 90% of my help. It's certainly not self guided.

@cottonsock. It won't be. Children under age 10 are pretty much incapable of working without an adult's guidance. Even if this is just prompting to move on or complete the next activity. I teach 10 year olds and many of these cannot do tasks alone.

@cansu I did initially think my daughter was behind (July born, quite immature), but speaking to other parents in class I realised it's the norm. It's good to hear you back that up.

I was implying in my post that perhaps the op needs to be more realistic.

We adapt some of the work set, don't get through all of if and my work has to suffer. You can't do everything

Ours weren’t either. I really think you believe your school is the outlier but it isn’t.

From what you say the reception resources sound like they’d be better. So what if she’s done it before. It will consolidate things.

I agree. I think it has perhaps been surprising and worrying for parents to see what their kids can do independently. Even as a teacher, I have at times been exasperated by my pupils online work! I have set what I thought was extremely clear and simple instructions and well structured tasks only to have kids asking me what to do! I think we underestimate how much support children get from their teacher and also from their peers. In most classrooms, kids automatically talk about their task with their neighbour and do what others are doing. Without all this unofficial help, they are pretty lost. I am desperate for children to come back to school and really sympathetic to parents trying to cope with this. I think most schools are doing their best but I think those with children in the year groups identified or those with vulnerable kids or especially challenging circumstances at home need to be welcomed back asap. I agree though that the OP does need to be realistic about what her daughter can do alone. I have a dd with SEN and I have been incredibly laid back about what we do. It isn't ideal but I have accepted she just won't work for me in the way she will at school with her teacher even though I am a teacher myself!

My year 2 does nothing independently. I have to direct her constantly then maybe I get 5 minutes out of her then she needs redirection. Even my year 4 child needs redirecting at least every hour and often every 15 minutes. As cansu says, this is deeply frustrating but it seems to be normal from speaking to friends and other children. It has appalled me how little they can do independently. Even my older child who I would say usually is very independent.

@drspouseWhy don't you want her in school more? I have just seen that school are happy to have her in but you only want one or two days. It is pretty straight forward really.

1. You teach her yourself in a hands on multi sensory way backed up by simple worksheets on the days she is at home.
2. You do your best with the online learning for YR or try the Oak or bbc bitesize but again you will have to sit with her and help.
3. You send her to school.

There really isn't an option where a teacher just works with your dd daily as the teacher is responsible for other students both in and out of school.

@cansu my DH is self isolating in the spare bedroom as he has a biopsy in 10 days' time to see if he has cancer, that good enough for you?

I've never said I expect her to do anything on her own.
I would like her to do something and not just scream.
Today we have tried:
How many eyes on two crabs?
Whine whine, two, no try again, IT'S TWO MUMMY, here, here's your two eyes I've drawn, oh, that's not enough, counting on fingers
How many pieces of bread is four white plus four brown? Four! Try again (and she did count on her fingers)
Which kind of bread comes first? Look at this word? I CAN'T READ IT YOU DO IT.
What sound does it start with I DON'T KNOW
Eventually she read the w and i and t and I explained it was "ai" but it's that level of resistance that is just wearing all day, every day.

You don't need to be aggressive @drspouse. I thought you were sending her in one day a week or have I misunderstood? Given the things you have said about how much your daughter struggles even with you teaching her to count four and four pieces of bread etc, it is hard to see how the teacher calling or trying to do that with her over the phone would help. Can you explain what it is that you want to happen then?

I should also say that I have a dd with quite severe asd and she also is unwilling to do work and struggles. I accepted though that there wasn't really anything the school could do from afar. They sent activities which we either tried or didn't do according to her mood.

I feel for you.

We had absolutely no help from school for our foster kids.
It took endless emails and phone calls to get them to even acknowledge that they had been removed from their mum and come to live with us.

You don't need to be aggressive
No, and you are free to actually read the thread, but here we all are.

Oh good grief @HelloMissus that's awful.
And yet many schools ARE setting differentiated work and ARE contacting families regularly and ARE giving children feedback and ARE providing video explanations. I don't understand how standards can vary so much.

it's that level of resistance that is just wearing all day, every day

It sounds like you have a 'mini me' on your hands.

I think, other than 'Paper trail' emails You need to accept nothing you get from school is going to be good enough to engage DD without an actual teacher 1:1

So you have choices

1: pay someone (Nannies are allowed to work, not sure about 'tutors' etc, but just find someone who can engage DD, call them a nanny.

2: Give up on formal learning entirely. Bake/garden/play and sneak in maths where you can. (Orchard Game On The Bus is a great game! Don't rate many of theur other ones) Dominis/cards/Lego 'I need a 'sixer ' to fill this gap- what can I use? etc Play shops - Buying/selling/how many for 20p etc etc. All a bit tedious granted, but so is trying to make them do 'obvious' maths when they're not engaging.

Read to her. Give up on phonics unless/until you have time to look at what people have suggested and find what works for her (do you know which system school uses?)

Science experiments are engaging, fun & great for teaching science/maths/reading etc.

Then obviously there's a lot of teaching available within crafts.

You're clearly stressed (I hope DH's biopsy goes well and comes back clear) And worried about DD falling behind, but she will catch up and sometimes you just need to take a step back and reevaluate when life is a bit shit. She's happy & healthy - maybe that's enough right now 🌷