My reception child is in tears

[Bashfulbanana42]

I just dispair. I understand that my child is 5 and the key is not to worry or force them to work. She is bottom of the class in many ways though so I really want reading to continue. She's well behaved but wasn't quite ready for school work when she started in september. It was abit of a disappointing first parents evening. The second one was slightly better though and I felt more encouraged that we could get her more alert and concentrating before year one.

Then Corona happened. I have been the most relaxed parent. No pressure on her. The first week we sat at the table and did bits and bobs. Max of 45 minutes a day. It was mainly colouring and crafts. I got her new crayons and pens and paper. The odd bit of counting and reading we did too.

The school sent 32 pages to us on Friday for a week. Quite fun work sheets like counting the apples in a barrel. Sorting insects (she loved this) filling in the missing numbers. Drawing beads on a string. They also sent us some phonics sounds they want us to learn.

Ive only asked her three times this week to sit for 30 minutes max when her brothers napping. I want to do nice things like colour, count and talk about insects etc which is this terms topic. But she just isn't concentrating. When she did the bead activity. She was drawing one bead so huge that there was no room for anymore. Or she would carry on drawing circles after she had the correct amount. I was gently suggesting she did smaller circles but she was eye rolling.

She was getting all stressed out and writing her letters wrong. then she was staring at the ceiling when I was pointing and showing her what to do.

I tried to write some oa words to learn. We talked about oa being an o sound. I wrote toad, road and load for her to sound out. She just wouldn't sound it out right. I then told her I only wanted her to do a very small bit of work each day and the rest she was free to do whatever she liked. She started crying. So I put the stuff away and said I was disappointed she wasn't trying. I told her she's not watching Tele this afternoon but can do anything else. She's laid on the sofa sulking.

I really am trying here. She struggles as it is and I know that if she keeps up with reading and counting she will be ok. But I fear she's going to get further behind while the confident smarter kids soak it all in. I am already trying to do the minimum and keeping most of it arty and fun. We will have another load of work tomorrow for next week and I already want to cry.

Is anyone else struggling.

I'm not a pushy parent but ofcourse I want to keep her up to date the best I can with reading etc.

I recommend downloading something like reading eggs that is super fun for kids, very engaging but works on those areas you have some concerns about!

Re phonics. Short bites via Geraldine the Giraffe on YouTube. Eg Today watch 'oa' sound (2.3 mins), tomorrow watch 'oa' again and watch a new one like 'oi'. Continue with recap/new sounds each day. Just 5 mins and leave it at that for now. You could even start her off on the sounds she already knows. I defy anyone to not love Geraldine (and her friend Mr Thorne).

twinkl accounts are free at the moment, you can get loads of stuff for her on there

Try games that they don't even realise they're learning.

One of my dc's favourite games when they were learning to read (actually they're teens now and still love this in a more complicated way) is treasure hunt.

At the start of trying to read just single words:
Window, door, chair-they have a trail of maybe 8 words with a small prize at the end. If they find 8 too many words, then alternate it with pictures.
Then as they get a bit better, you can do one line instructions: "go to the door"
More complicated: "Go to the blue shoes"
And very complicated for little ones: Lie on your back under the table (next clue pinned to the underneath the table)

Simple addition: Make the stairs into a number line with the numbers 1-10 on. For 4 + 3, stand on stair 4, and go up 3. What number are you on?

Pin sounds round the room that she needs to learn (eg oa, ch, s and th) and say the sound and she has to run to the sound. When she is getting good at that say words. Afterwards say "wow!" look at all the words we did. Show a list, with them under the correct sounds. Read them to her emphasising how brilliantly she did them. Then she can read the words to you and she has to say if you're right (make sure you're wrong sometimes!)

And have days where you do nothing.

If she is behind, then she should do more to catch up. “Taking it easy” will make her falling further behind and set her up for years of being miserable in school.

The trick is doing little and being consistent. At this age, 20-30 minutes session per day. After 1-2 weeks, increase to 2 sessions and so on.

Trying to fix it now is easier than next year or the year after.

Thanks everyone!

Reading eggs isn't available on her Amazon fire.

I have twinkl sheets

I managed to get her to enjoy doing a shopping list yesterday of her favourite foods. She also wrote to her teacher and did a picture.

I've found thup games on Amazon fire.

Where do I find bitesize?

Thanks again for all your helpful comments. I am feeling much more inspired.

Bitesize is part of the bbc. Have you tried Pirate Phonics and Teach your Monster to Read - I don’t know if they are available on fire but my 5 yr old likes them.

That is tonnes for a reception child, probably more than she'd do on a typical day in school.

Glad you are feeling more confident but do take it easy.

First time poster. Possibly last time :) Homeschool two boys (13, 10). Just a few things to add to the pile, expressed too fast and therefore probably sounding more strident than intended.

First, if you’re not having fun don’t bother. There is absolutely nothing a kid that age needs to learn urgently except that learning things can be fun.

Second, the schooling system works on the principle that doing averagely well at a wide range of mostly repetitive tasks is good preparation for life. It used to be. It probably isn’t anymore. Finding a passion for something, anything, and sustaining it over a long period is more likely to deliver a good life. The world isn’t going to need a lot of disengaged office drones, that stuff will all be automated or outsourced. Plumbers are probably going to do better than desk jockeys, obsessively focused academics better than people with all the ‘right’ bits of paper who don’t really care about their subject.

Third, from the moment you’re accepting that your kid can be measured against a same-age peer group you’ve already failed and you’re likely to damage your relationship with them and their relationship with themselves. To put it in perspective, the UK tests more, assesses progress more and standardises teaching more than nearly any other developed country...and has much worse educational outcomes. The country’s science and arts output is saved mostly by a small percentage of highly privileged (or in the state sector very lucky) kids who end up getting a much freer, student-driven learning environment in which individual teachers help them to, yes, follow their passions.

Also, learning to read and write is like learning to talk. If the kid is more or less neurotypical and gets the exposure, they’ll eventually learn the skill. This year, next year...who cares. And what they read/write when they’re adults is more important than how early they learnt when they were kids. Which comes back to the passion thing again.

So basically, fuck the beads, the report cards, Key Stages, pointless exams and the rest of it. Find something they really like, learn as much as you can about it yourself, get a tutor once you reach your limit (this happens quite fast in my experience, and is also amazingly cheap). Then ride the rollercoaster. Exhausting, but fun. Once they get really good, it’s amazing how everyone gets off your back and was suddenly ‘cheering you on’ from the very beginning...

Meant that to go private to OP. Sorry, everyone else...

Must be hard. But I think it is also the perfect time for your daughter to catch up. She will never get the one on one attention that you can provide her in school. So it might be a blessing for her to be able to progress slowly but steadily with you before the school opens.
Like others have suggested, play games. Don't stress too much on sitting straight for 30-45 mins and having her do some activity. It can be done in 10 mins spurts. Quite a few suggestions of apps above, While I know a few of them are excellent, I will use them with caution. It is easy for a child to get addicted to screens.

Practise counting throughout the day - let's get 5 spoons, I think want to eat 20 cheerios today, I think I will eat 5 more, So I have eaten 25 cheerios. One day draw a card for a friend, another day colour something to put out on the window,... Don't make it something that you need to do. Have you tried playing board games? There are such fun board game which help with maths, literacy,...There is an excellent facbook group ' Little Board Gamers'. Join it and ask questions there, you will get ton of games suggestions.
All the best!

This is good for fun story based maths whiterosemaths.com/homelearning/early-years/

I used to be a nursery teacher before I changed direction. If it helps....

You're own children are the hardest to teach. You have less patience with them and the highest hopes because you are emotionally the most invested in them. This causes you to feel more anxious.

Take a deep breath and don't worry. Whatever happens, your daughter will be learning. Reception based teaching is through play and should be lead by the child. If she (and you) aren't enjoying it, don't force it.

Beads on a necklace - can you try making some 'Beads' from salt dough? Take about making them the same size and practice making them. You can make them too and ask your,daughter to help you make them the same size. Put a hole through them using a knitting needle and bake them. While they are baking, draw the beads, asking her if she can remember what they had to be(same size). Later she can paint them and string them to make her own necklace. Take a picture and send it to her teacher.

Try getting her to read the words by saying a sentence with the last word missing for her to fill in. After a few goes, see if she can point it out from the others when she says it. Pretend you are trying to work it out so you can say it first...

Try and find a game in things - can you make the words out of sticks or pebbles in the garden?

Do you have the opportunity to print out 2 copies of the sheets? If so, you could do some of the sheets together and ask for her help.

Most of all, don't stress about it. Lots of parents will be in the same boat. It can be hard to let go and accept that your child is not going to get things straight away or their work is not perfect, but that isn't important. As long as it is their own work the teacher will be able to see progress.

I had endless patience with other people's children but much less with my own. With my first, homework became a tag-team exercise with me and my husband!

*Your not you're! Argh - bloody autocorrect and fat fingers!