A letter to my little girl

[Sadmammaof2]

To my sweet (sometimes bossy) 5 year old.

Mummy will leave here home in an hour. I'll put a packet of biscuits in my pocket and walk the mile to your school. I'll stand in the little playground where all the reception children play and wait for your teacher to let you all out one by one. I'll smile and say goodbye to your teacher and try and hold it together as we walk away.

I wish I could explain to you that life is changing. I wish I could make you understand that your first year of school has been cut short. That there is a large chance this is your last day in reception. Your last day with the teacher you think so much of. The teacher you quote at home. The teacher who has been your first adult away from me to see you every day.

I wish I could help you understand it could be a very long time until you can see your class friends again. That when you next see them you will possibly be in the next class. Some of you won't be together because there's 3 classrooms of years 1/2. The walls will be different. Your peg will be different. Your teacher will be different. Your daily routine will be different.

I wish we could enjoy the Easter holidays this year. We wanted to take you to the beach. We wanted to buy rock for your school friends. We wanted to have a rest before we took you back to your school life. Your friends. Your favourite subject pe. You love the art corner. You are in it every day . You have began to read and write. You can now name the planets. You giggle and laugh with your friends after school and you charge ahead together. We sometimes stop at the park and I watch you swing with your friends. I often wanted to just get home because your little brother is getting fed up and we need to cook tea..... I regret that now. I regret it because now I would give anything to have a boring Sunday washing uniform and a rushed morning. Instead we could be looking at 4 months of you being home. I will try my best to help you learn. I will read and write with you. I will try and teach you about animals and seasons. I will take you for a walk to kill the long days. We will try and go outside in the garden. We will eat lunch together again just like we used to. It will be so nice to have you around. But I am still sad. Because I know you are happiest at school. I know you need your friends. I know your teacher inspires you. I know the atmosphere makes you happy. You love being in your school. You love telling us what you now know. What you did at lunch. Who you played with. What you ate. You love your walk home. You love your weekends with us. I don't want this for you. I don't want you to have everything you know removed. I don't want today to be your last day. I don't want you to stop doing the routine of school. Your bedroom is so quiet. Your garden is so small. There are no other children.

I love you so much and I wish I could change all this for you. Your first year of school and you have been robbed of your first disco. Your first school trip. Your first sports day.

I am so proud of how you have adjusted to school and settled in. I am sorry we now have to confuse everything we have taught you. But we hope when you do go back you pick the joy straight back up. I hope you skip up the road and run straight into class. I hope you adore your new teacher and class. I hope this doesn't phase you. Because it breaks my heart to think this could hurt you. This could make you anxious. This could make you worry.

We will get through this sad time. Love you always mummy xxx

Oh for heavens sake what absolute OTT garbage. Ffs get a bloody grip

This is fucking brilliant. I coughed up a lung laughing and got a filthy look off the dog.

I remember picking my dear sweet 5 year old son up from school and telling him his whole life had changed because his sister had died that day. Please put this into perspective. She is safe and protected at home with you, the best place for her right now. She is in the same boat as millions of children around the world right now. You really shouldn't be pushing your anxiety onto her, make it an adventure, not a bad thing.

Sorry, I blacked out before the third paragraph. Saccharine rush.

cheered me up no end at least

🤮

That's enough internet for me today , fuck me 🙄

Jesus Christ. Have a word with yourself.

We have personal journals for a reason

Please come back OP. I never actually laugh out loud at threads on here but I genuinely have tonight at the comments!! The Sistine chapel one 🤣🤣

But quick question, did you mean to post on mumsnet? 😂

This features that special form of cadence evolved from social media shared posts. I’m feeling a little sad but Jesus H this is something else.

People are having to cope with real tragedies in their lives.

Whilst having to deal with being shamed and criticised by other people, who've lived in a safe little bubble, for not "moving on" or "getting over" the horrific things they've been through. The kind of people who turn judgemental that therapy hasn't instantly and fully cured someone of the trauma of being raped or experiencing something else horrific. Or that the person hasn't plastered on a smile to pretend to be ok for their convenience.

I genuinely feel for people who are lost, sad, confused and scared right now, because it's a horrible time for so many, but it's starting to piss me off that lots of people who are sad about such tiny things and expecting empathy and compassion from others are the same people who usually have fuck all empathy or compassion for people who've survived horror and trauma and have had to live with despair and hopelessness long term.

The ones who witter on about how it's a personal weakness or some kind of character flaw to be suffering mentally, and say traumatised people just need to be more "resilient" or "positive" or "adapt" to being entirely alone in the world without social connections and "move on" like they can magic away the horrors in their lives and the injuries they've been left with.

People who had to cope alone without social support have been regularly criticised for not actually being able to cope with living in that way, and now it's happening to everyone it's being acknowledged that humans can't fucking survive alone without being damaged.

Suddenly they're learning that it's not their superior mental toughness that protected them from suffering but random dumb luck, and they still have no fucking insight.

OP is probably feeling a bit of a tit right now and also quite horrified by the strength of the animosity directed towards her.
It might be time to just lay off now.

Please don’t show this to your little girl, all the comments aside ( mine included) if she is feeling sad reading this will really upset her

Part of your job as a parent is to teach your child about consideration, risk and resilience. You need to model these for her, so start practicing

This is why this post got under my skin a little - you say you don't want your little girl to be anxious or scared or worried but you have dramatised things like a school disco.

She will have a 'first' all those things at another point when it is safe to do so because measures are being put in place to protect her to ensure she has the best chance possible of a healthy and happy life in future.

Chin up OP, I think it would be wrong not to make an active attempt to stop yourself passing this kind of of anxiety onto her.

One of my mates is so concerned with her little ones feelings (in her case I think for the approval of others so they'll think she is a lovely mummy, which she is but does rather over perform in public!) that I feel she sometimes makes things worse e.g. I'm sure you're terrified and that's ok / I know you're worried people we love will die and that's ok - both those things are true to an extent but I think there's an age appropriate way of discussing them without telling the child how they 'must' feel.

They won't know different and many of the measures are shit but keeping them alive.

If her first disco has never taken place and will take place...then she hasn't been robbed of it.

I barely remember being 5. Or my first year at school. Nor will she.

Wow, some of your replies are awful!! I thought this site was all about sticking together and been there for each other 🤔 yeah sure, there are definitely worse things going off in the world, lots of things, but omg isn't this woman allowed to feel sad ...?
She never said she wanted anyone to feel sorry for her or her child, chill your beans everyone.

Can we please have a bit of peace and love? Mumsnet is here to make parents' lives easier. We're in difficult times and everyone is entitled to their feelings and responses to what's going on at the moment - we could all do with a bit of extra support and understanding.

My nephew is delighted - his SATS are cancelled. He was furious that he had to sit them on his birthday and I mean FURIOUS.

It's awful, this fucking disease is killing people. The world is a shit place to live in at the moment.

However, I get where OP is coming from. The year 11s at DD1's school left yesterday (the school shut early due to insufficient staff and they've run out of hand gel) and I can't help feeling sad for them. They've been robbed of all the ceremony of the "last day" like getting shirts signed and the big assembly... I dunno. They're probably all "woohoo, we're done with this shit hole!!!" I think us adults are a bit more sentimental. Children are really resilient and are often better at coping than us.

Oh wow I'm so sorry OP. It's disastrous and your DD will never to be able to catch up on her education after this worldwide disaster is over. She will be so damaged and educationally backward I strongly recommend that you just treat her as an amusing pet from now on.

Jesus Christ, you need to get a grip and stop scaring the bejeezus out of her.

I regret it because now I would give anything to have a boring Sunday washing uniform and a rushed morning.

Wow, this is so moving. You should definitely post it on Medium.

This has to be a piss take, please tell me it’s a piss take.
It’s valid to have fleeting thoughts but to indulge them and get upset over a first bloody disco is ridiculous.

Well this has inadvertently cheered me right up!