A letter to my little girl

[Sadmammaof2]

To my sweet (sometimes bossy) 5 year old.

Mummy will leave here home in an hour. I'll put a packet of biscuits in my pocket and walk the mile to your school. I'll stand in the little playground where all the reception children play and wait for your teacher to let you all out one by one. I'll smile and say goodbye to your teacher and try and hold it together as we walk away.

I wish I could explain to you that life is changing. I wish I could make you understand that your first year of school has been cut short. That there is a large chance this is your last day in reception. Your last day with the teacher you think so much of. The teacher you quote at home. The teacher who has been your first adult away from me to see you every day.

I wish I could help you understand it could be a very long time until you can see your class friends again. That when you next see them you will possibly be in the next class. Some of you won't be together because there's 3 classrooms of years 1/2. The walls will be different. Your peg will be different. Your teacher will be different. Your daily routine will be different.

I wish we could enjoy the Easter holidays this year. We wanted to take you to the beach. We wanted to buy rock for your school friends. We wanted to have a rest before we took you back to your school life. Your friends. Your favourite subject pe. You love the art corner. You are in it every day . You have began to read and write. You can now name the planets. You giggle and laugh with your friends after school and you charge ahead together. We sometimes stop at the park and I watch you swing with your friends. I often wanted to just get home because your little brother is getting fed up and we need to cook tea..... I regret that now. I regret it because now I would give anything to have a boring Sunday washing uniform and a rushed morning. Instead we could be looking at 4 months of you being home. I will try my best to help you learn. I will read and write with you. I will try and teach you about animals and seasons. I will take you for a walk to kill the long days. We will try and go outside in the garden. We will eat lunch together again just like we used to. It will be so nice to have you around. But I am still sad. Because I know you are happiest at school. I know you need your friends. I know your teacher inspires you. I know the atmosphere makes you happy. You love being in your school. You love telling us what you now know. What you did at lunch. Who you played with. What you ate. You love your walk home. You love your weekends with us. I don't want this for you. I don't want you to have everything you know removed. I don't want today to be your last day. I don't want you to stop doing the routine of school. Your bedroom is so quiet. Your garden is so small. There are no other children.

I love you so much and I wish I could change all this for you. Your first year of school and you have been robbed of your first disco. Your first school trip. Your first sports day.

I am so proud of how you have adjusted to school and settled in. I am sorry we now have to confuse everything we have taught you. But we hope when you do go back you pick the joy straight back up. I hope you skip up the road and run straight into class. I hope you adore your new teacher and class. I hope this doesn't phase you. Because it breaks my heart to think this could hurt you. This could make you anxious. This could make you worry.

We will get through this sad time. Love you always mummy xxx

It was!
I remember the 3 different breakfasts palaver, as if I didn't have anything else to do at 7 am
🤣🤣🤣

Lola 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

Is your daughter on Mumsnet?! If not you might want to write this in a letter and post it under her bedroom door hun.
Not the right place to be putting crap like this hun these women will rip you to shreds😂🤔

Fucking hell people are gullible. Look at the OPs name. Brand new poster with one post. Come on people ffs.

In fairness, @NoSauce, it's also possible she joined Mn specifically to share her sugary ramblings about the unbearable pain of her daughter never seeing her reception class peg again.

On the chance that this is genuine, OP, I suggest you read When Hitler Stole Pink Rabbit to your daughter. It's entirely brilliant, and about young children and their parents dealing with unforeseen major changes when they become refugees, and it's an excellent book for talking about resilience, and how not all change is necessarily bad or frightening.

Gosh Galley
I remember reading the pink rabbit book with secondary school children, it certainly puts things into perspective.
I had goosebumps when I read your post and recalled the book.

@menthollyinsane

what chance has a 5 year old got?! They have a lot to take in here, yes they will adjust because kids are resilient but right now they are surrounded by stressed and anxious parents telling them they can't go to school or see anyone, hearing snippets of an illness that could come for them or their families. Put yourselves in a 4,5,6 year old shoes now and how would you feel?
A 4,5,6 should be blissfully unaware of the severity of the situation. Parents should step up and make sure of it. Children take their cues from their parents so if stressed, anxious parents are causing issues for their children it's on them.

Yes they should be unaware, but not all are, some will have overheard rather than taken cues from parents and not all parents will talk about it.
My DD was told by friend at school that there was a bad bug that kills people. I've now explained it in a more child friendly way but they all take in a lot than we think.

They also take cues from other adults around them and what they see, which we can't always control. As parents we have a big responsibility to get this right with our children, I personally don't think complete shielding is the way to go though.

I've just read a thread where everyone is crying all day and telling each other it is a 'normal' reaction. Talk of reception years being stolen etc. Crying WITH their young children. That's not 'getting it right' with our children and that is where the issues are going to lie.

No one has said complete shielding is the way to go either. Making little ones part of a doomsday narrative you've got going on is the problem. Using them as part of some dramallama cut and paste job is the problem.

You're not wrong that they take in more than we think and it's a shame these 'crying all day end of the world' mothers don't consider that

An increase in anxiety and mental health issues in the very young, you say? And where is this coming from? Idiot overreacting parents sharing fears with children, that’s where! Get a grip. Carry on and put on a poker face for your kids. Thats what I’ll be doing next week and every week as I’m providing care for key worker kids. Kids are kids and have limited understanding. Crying and carrying on just makes them fearful and anxious. Stop it.

@JKScot4 why insult her kid? Get a life.

Spot on @CJsGoldfish

@CJsGoldfish agreed! There is no need to be crying with kids or indeed making into some morbid doomsday narrative. That's not appropriate or conducive to resilience and good MH.
I've had to have a quiet chat with some older relatives about not making a drama out of it already, last night one was talking to DD on the phone and the first thing they said was 'I miss you so much and I might not see you for a long, long time or ever again'. I stepped in and stopped it before they could go any further and asked that they don't go all drama llama, she will certainly not see me crying all day (or at all to be fair, crying isn't going to help us), rather we will carry on doing what we need to.

If you expect your children to be sad, then they'll meet your expectations.

If you show them 'hurrah, this holiday is going to be a bit longer' then they'll be happy.

I'm not suggesting you go the full Pollyanna, but allowing your thoughts to dwell on the negative will over time turn you into a total misery guts.

I agree with reading "When Hitler Stole Pink Rabbit"
I read it as a child (as did my middle dd, who's easily scared-she was about 6yo when she read it) and read it as a "didn't she have a wonderful adventure."
As an adult, you can see the fear, the real danger they were in and the hardships they went through.
The reason was at least the way the parents presented it-they presented it as an adventure.

If you present to your child-and talk to them, tell them what is happening in their language-it as a "fun adventure" then they will remember it as that.

Not telling them anything is building up problems because they will notice it's different. They are plenty old enough to tell them there's an illness and they need to keep in to be safe from it. Children understand more than you are giving them credit for.