Anyone else anxious about reception aged children

[Puddleduck42]

I know everyone has different worries and fears. I know 4/5 year olds are young and this won't alter their lives forever. But if our children have just lost 16 weeks of their first year at school it's a huge deal.

I am not debating the coronavirus and what it has caused. Without a doubt this needed to happen. I guess I wasn't expecting them to say the rest of the school year.

I know the kids will adjust and adapt. But my five year old cried this morning when we gently told her school was closed for a long time and she could stay home. She loves school. She is with her own age group. She's learning. She's outdoors. She's invited to parties. She's reading and writing. She's eating lunch with her friends. She has a little playground that they all eat snack in and sit in there little groups.

The reality is she may never go back to that class and playground. When she does go back it will be a new classroom. Years 1/2 together. She will be with a new teacher. She won't be in the animal room where they are called foxes. She also gets extra help as she wasn't quite ready for the academic stuff when she started. But now she's starting to read and write and understand numbers a tiny bit. I know that her stopping this consistent stuff for months will hold her back. She will forget all she has learned. She will close up. I will work at home with her. But silence for months at home and not being able to interact with her friends just feels so unhealthy and rubbish for her. .

I have cried this morning thinking has my little girl finished reception. This virus has stolen away her first year and first summer of school. Even knowing she won't wear her gingham dress and walk to school on a hot day with her sunhat makes me sad. All the wonderful summer days ahead she should of had with her teacher and friends. Discovering more and more and preparing for going into year one.

I also feel sad for all the other children despite which year they are in.

Please don't point out the obvious. I know we need to do this. I know people are dying. I am just hoping they can do the summer term and this isn't the end for them all. It's so hard to protect her and prepare her for the unknown. If I tell her the truth that she won't be in that class anymore she will be so frightened and upset. As will many other kids.

Does anyone else feel this way.

Ahh Puddleduck I know what you mean-my daughter’s in the same boat. Although she is absolutely delighted to learn she only has two days left at school even though she loves it.

She won’t forget everything. Kids are amazingly resilient. I think it’s our job not to let our sadness at them missing the end of their first year show and instead focus on keeping them going with mixed activities at home and outside where possible.

Don’t tell her news that’s too big for a little one to contemplate about the summer term. Take it day by day, make a timetable of all the fun things you’re going to do together and make the most of the extra time with her. That’s my plan anyway! Lots of love xx

I absolutely know what you mean. I'm a teacher and I feel so awful that Year 11 and Year 13 aren't having a chance to have all those happy end of year/exams finished summer experiences.

I know. DS3 is reception year, DS2 is year 6. I feel so sad for DS2 who of all my dc values school the most and won't now have any of the leavers stuff. And before anyone says it- I know it is necessary to take the steps we have and I know my sadness at DS2 missing out on the year 6 residential, the parties, the special assemblies, the leavers 'prom' etc is nothing compared to the reasons as to why he will miss out, but I do feel so sorry for him. DS3 seems mostly confused tbh.

It’s hard isn’t it? In some ways I’m relieved DS isn’t older as he’ll catch up on the academic stuff. But playing with their peers is such an important part of how they learn and develop at this age. I can’t replicate that at home and I don’t/can’t play like another child. He adores school and being with friends. The psychological side effects of being cooped up with an adult (and a baby) are what I’m most concerned with. Need to think of ways to mitigate this without creating too much risk. Maybe visit places in the open air with one other child/parent at a time.

But then I give myself a shake and realise that we’re much luckier than most. I’m not a natural home schooler or SAHM but I will do my best and we can afford for me to concentrate on the kids for now. And I’m sure you will do a fine job too. So many less fortunate children will fall through the cracks in the next few months. The fact you’re worrying about this means ours will pull through. And it will be normal for their peer group! Allowances will be made as they progress through school. Fingers crossed that what little they remember of this period will be cosy family memories.

Ah I totally agree OP and your post has made me a teensy bit wobbly! I have a son in Reception and he was so flippin happy. I'm gutted for him. I feel silly and guilty though when I think of people with children in critical year groups and feel so awful for them. Ours are the furthest from that, but are missing out on some great early memories as well as educational foundation. But it will pass. Keep strong.

I'm gutted too. My DD is in school nursery in the same class as reception and has really been struggling lately.
It's only been the past few weeks she's gone in without crying and I think we're going to have to start again when she does go back

It's a shame for all of them. We're pretending that home is nursery/school from now on and are going to be doing similar things at similar times as they do to try and hold on to some routine in the hope that it helps.

I had a little cry last night too OP, mine is in pre school at nursery and these are her last few months with this close group before they all go their separate ways to school, i'm so upset for her. Really really hoping the closure isn't until summer holidays and your daughter can get a bit more time in this class

@Puddleduck42 totally. It's not that we think this is even a problem int he grand scheme of things, but I am really sad about so many little things. I'm not saying they matter, I know they don't and there are much bigger things at stake here, but they still make me sad. Folding washing this morning, by youngest's little school trousers that he probably won't wear again because he'll have outgrown them. My eldest - probably will never get to go to Cubs again as he will be too old by the summer and should move up to Scouts. It just feels like all these little memories/moments are being stolen from them.

I'm a bit tearful today. I think we should focus on the new memories we can make - homeschooling might be fun, you never know!

I can see why you feel like that, truly I can, but reception children will be by far the least affect by this. Your dd has her whole education ahead of her, she will have an amazing time. This sadness is yours, not hers.

Try turning it on its head. This is your last chance (hopefully) to have a concentrated chunk of her for the next 14 years. And she'll enjoy that (my teens are far from enthused at so much mum and dad).

My dd is 4 and is in preschool due to start primary school in September. She is devastated that preschool is closed and I feel so sad for her that she might never go back.. she's not going to get to say good bye to her friends, or her favourite staff and she'll miss her pre school graduation and party. She won't have the excitement of going school clothes shopping with me, and I don't think she'll take it very well at all because it going to be such a big change for her

Aghh yes true. Its just there are 3 classes of y1/2 so most of her class friends will be separated. I just hope they can do at least the last six weeks of summer. Anything. In 4 months time she will of been away from it far too long. It's such a confusing message to send to them isn't it.

We spend all that time saying you will be going to school. You go five days. It's really important. Then they have got settled in and now we are going to be teaching them this life where they can't do anything at all other than stay home and possibly go for a walk.

I'm thinking of removing all these things from her life and it seems so unfair to any child's mental state.

From tomorrow she has lost school.
Lost her teachers
Lost her friends
Lost her swimming lessons
Lost her weekends at play areas etc
Lost her walks and trips to the park after school.
Lost her Grandparents.
Lost the simplest things like going in the shop.

Then I've lost my school runs. I do 4 miles a day in total on foot. I walk with other mums and we chat etc.

I know many will think it's reception, it's irrelevant at this age. But it will affect my child as more and more days go by. Still no school.

When will Boris have more information on the time frame?

Sending hugs to all you other mummy's on here also sad for your littles ones being robbed.

The whole point of reception is to build them up for school. I think missing half the year will be so hard on the summer babies and the children who have struggled to pick up things as fast. Year one is a huge change and I feel she simply won't be ready for that.

I've got everything crossed schools reopen after Easter. Even if they just go to school and come home and not allowed to leave the house apart from that.

I know what you mean, my reception age DD cried when I explained school was closing. She wanted answers but I can't give any.
It didn't help that her best friends are self isolating as of today because they have coughs, so they won't get those last couple of days. And of course DD has heard that people are dying so she's worried about her friends.
She doesn't understand why we can't see her grandparents or go to her ballet, swim and other classes/groups or any of our usual activities.

I feel so desperately sad for the children of all ages, it's difficult enough as adults to process what is happening.
None of that takes away everything else going on, But I do think to get through this we need to allow ourselves to process it all, piece by piece.

This thread says everything I feel :( My DD was getting so settled in reception and really enjoying her learning and making so many friends!

I feel just the same. Realised last night that my daughter might not go back to her Reception class again if schools close until the summer. It has been such a cosy, welcoming, environment for her, and she’s settled in well, loves her teachers, made new friends, and is doing well with the academic side. Taking that away from her feels awful

Know what you mean about the summer dresses and sunny days too!

I really hope they dont mess up this discussion. Expect because it was pressure from a petition that added to it. I think a month of them staying home will mean they are germ free and not contagious. Then after Easter Boris could let them back to school as long as they are taken and brought home by a parent and remain isolated apart from school.

At least that way they have something. I mean some poor kids won't have much food. Other kids without siblings will be really lonely without other kids to giggle and play with. Even my DD she has a noisy 2 year old brother. He rarely naps. Yet I've got to find time to focus on her and read etc. Many children will struggle being so isolated from their friends. Also it's such a sudden goodbye for them. My DD teacher is covering maternity. So she's there from October until July. My DD doesn't know yet beyond life with her as a teacher. We haven't had chance to prepare her it's not forever. We was going to do that in July.

I'm so unproductive today and I could cry again. Thanks for making me feel normal. Xx

No. The impact on them will be tiny. There are much worse things to worry about.

Yes I cried last night and I’m sure I will cry again. Mine are reception and year 3. I am so sad for them. They both love school. Love their teachers, their clubs. They’re like puppies with their need to be exercised. They need their peers. This is going to be a really hard few months for everyone.

Decision not discussion lol x

Also Especially not expect. Silly typos x

@daisypond

As a country there are much bigger things.

As a family this is a massive thing for our child. As it will be for many others. We never went through this as kids. They are being taken away from all that they know and it's daunting and scary for all of them. What happens in a month when they havn't seen a friend or been to school. They are bored. They want to go out. They can't because nothing is open. How do we explain they have no freedom anymore.

It's not like we can say don't worry we will pop to see some animals or go to the swimming pool. These are not school holidays. School holidays are fun. This is being isolated from everything. It is a big deal

@Paintforkitchen you've made me well up again. It's such a relief to know what I feel is normal. X

@daisypond the impact on children whatever happens WONT be tiny. The bit I am struggling with the most is that this will take away a bit of their childhood and they will feel differently after.

Now not all of it will be negative, in fact many positives will come from this, finding joy in the smallest of things, seeing the environment recover and knowing that (for us) the community spirit will come together.

But at the same time they are living with life as they know it suddenly stopping and adults who they rely on for answers having none.

And that isnt even going into the potential impact of actually losing people they know

I profoundly disagree. Small children can in general be protected and shielded. My child (teen) is trapped alone in a lockdown country far away. I have cancer and treatment is now being rationed. I go into the heart of the virus epicentre every day. I may never see my child again. If you have small children at home, be glad of it. Be grateful that they are there.

Well this thread has me in tears. Wasn't expecting that! I hadn't thought of the reception children at all and what they will be missing. I bet you've already bought a couple of lovely M&S gingham frocks too haven't you OP! I have a Y3 and a Y6. So my Y6 suddenly realised yesterday that she probably had just two days of primary school left and it's a shock. This morning I made two packed lunches probably for the last time. Probably won't be walking two children to school ever again. I'm feeling really sad about it all. And I think it's ok to feel sad about this, this is our reality. We know other people are worse off but that doesn't take away from our sadness about our children.

@Quartz2208 spot on! Agree with you. It's damaging to a child's mental health. They will be thinking in their little heads what's going on. One day we will be getting them out of bed for school again. The sun will shine and the playground will be busy. But the future months ahead are looking very gloomy and depressing. Even being in the garden is lonely and boring after a while. Months of summer but no options to see family or go swimming. I don't think many people are thinking about how damaging this is for kids of all ages. But especially damaging to the younger years who don't understand and can't process not having their familiar life anymore. They should be enjoying their days with other kids laughing and learning. It's never going to come close sitting with mummy and reading and writing. They are often inspired by their teachers and friends. The displays they make. The slide shows they watch. Even eating a snack with their friends. That's so important to their social and emotional development. They need to be with children. Humans are not designed to be alone. The fact we are doing this to our kids is really scary. I just hope they feel after isolating them for a month they are better off in school. We need to just keep them away from people at risk.