Anyone else anxious about reception aged children

[Puddleduck42]

I know everyone has different worries and fears. I know 4/5 year olds are young and this won't alter their lives forever. But if our children have just lost 16 weeks of their first year at school it's a huge deal.

I am not debating the coronavirus and what it has caused. Without a doubt this needed to happen. I guess I wasn't expecting them to say the rest of the school year.

I know the kids will adjust and adapt. But my five year old cried this morning when we gently told her school was closed for a long time and she could stay home. She loves school. She is with her own age group. She's learning. She's outdoors. She's invited to parties. She's reading and writing. She's eating lunch with her friends. She has a little playground that they all eat snack in and sit in there little groups.

The reality is she may never go back to that class and playground. When she does go back it will be a new classroom. Years 1/2 together. She will be with a new teacher. She won't be in the animal room where they are called foxes. She also gets extra help as she wasn't quite ready for the academic stuff when she started. But now she's starting to read and write and understand numbers a tiny bit. I know that her stopping this consistent stuff for months will hold her back. She will forget all she has learned. She will close up. I will work at home with her. But silence for months at home and not being able to interact with her friends just feels so unhealthy and rubbish for her. .

I have cried this morning thinking has my little girl finished reception. This virus has stolen away her first year and first summer of school. Even knowing she won't wear her gingham dress and walk to school on a hot day with her sunhat makes me sad. All the wonderful summer days ahead she should of had with her teacher and friends. Discovering more and more and preparing for going into year one.

I also feel sad for all the other children despite which year they are in.

Please don't point out the obvious. I know we need to do this. I know people are dying. I am just hoping they can do the summer term and this isn't the end for them all. It's so hard to protect her and prepare her for the unknown. If I tell her the truth that she won't be in that class anymore she will be so frightened and upset. As will many other kids.

Does anyone else feel this way.

A couple of points OP.

You said earlier something about reducing the peak by 15%. That's quite a lot really. That could be the difference between the NHS coping and not coping.

The just now I hope that the government work out a way for the kids to just literally go to school and come back home. If they cancel all other social interaction in their lives and keep them home now for a month to ensure they are not carrying anything. Then it would be fairly safe for them to go to school and just come home.

I don't think you are grasping it. If you get the virus from shopping or working, then your child gets it before you notice you have it. Then she goes to school and passes it on to all her little friends and her teachers, who then pass it back to their parents.

The children won't really be 'behind', as all their peers will have missed out too. The curricula will be adapted for the next years to account for learning lost this year. Education is a marathon not a sprint, they have until they are 16, its doable.

Yes it is sad for you and for the children. But little ones can be quite resilient provided the adults around them are being positive.

I'm pretty confident loads of online stuff will spring up to help primary age. The school might do thing like say today watch this youtube link and tweet us a picture of the result, that kind of thing.

My DPs weren't emotionally scarred by growing up in the war. Affected yes, not scarred. Yours will hopefully be fine once you find a routine and it settles into the new 'normal'.

I'm not wholly unsympathetic, but the LOs will be OK provided their parents are.

So @Puddleduck42 do you think putting your children under a "horrible long period of isolation" will be more or less traumatic for them then losing a parent or grandparent?

Half the people requiring intensive care treatment with corvid 19 are under 60 (if you dont think the lives of the elderly and vulnerable are worth saving). Most younger people who get it will recover at home, but a significant minority wont. When you are upset about your dd missing her friends maybe try picturing her face as men in hazmat suits carry you away in an ambulance. You may find it helps.

I'm truly sorry you believe that your daughter will be so damaged by a period being cared for by her family. But, unless you are an key worker, then your job is to stop you and yours adding to their workload by getting sick. So just get a grip and do it.

OP I’m shocked at the ‘anger’ you wrote about in your post. You haven’t grasped the severity of what is going on. Have you read about Italy. A family member works in healthcare and describes what is being discussed in meetings in hospitals as making the hairs on the back of their necks stand up.
Remember too how your child reacts is dependent on how you react. They will follow your lead.

I have a friend who is a really hard head teacher and she is weeping over the fate of her receptions, nothing else, just that ... lost terms, never to be made up etc. Please try to read a lot with your child ... that's the only advice she is giving.

@Porcupineinwaiting

You have completely missed the point. Every single parent I have spoken to is feeling exactly the same. Angry at this virus for all the upset it's causing. Our children being taken away from their happy safe place.

Ofcourse I am aware of the situation and why it's important. But does that mean we cant be upset that our kids are being affect massively by this. Exams not taking place. Year six kids are hurting because they know they will never see their friends again. Teenagers also are not loving it. My nephew is 13 and gutted he can't go to school. He doesn't want to be stuck home with his mum for weeks. But yes I care about the people at risk. Ofcourse I do. But if we want to talk about our children and how it's affecting them and will affect them then we can!!??

Why is it a crime to focus on other aspects of this situation. The things you have spoken about have been discussed many times. But mums are worried for their young children. We have a right to discuss this!

@Moominmammacat

Is is a sad situation for the kids isn't it. The teachers look sad at my DD school too. They are going to miss their little people I expect. They were going on a school trip next month. They have two more terms of learning they will now miss. They have had reading books removed from their bags. They have been cut short of everything. It's their first experience of school and they are so little still. They are going to really struggle to understand why they can't go anymore. They are far too young to explain the sad reality to them too. I just hope it's not the rest of the year. If they can do the last 8 weeks at least they may recover. If they go into year one I think they will struggle to settle in easily. Because they don't know what's going on they can't make peace with it and say goodbye today.

@Porcupineinwaiting losing a parent or grandparent of course is going to be far more traumatic but that doesnt make this easy for anyone.

My Year 6 daughter is well aware of why she is doing it and the fact that sacrifices need to be made in order to save lives. It is why we will do it because we have to. She knows what she is missing out on her SATS, her Prom she has been fundraising for, friends etc and she isnt leaving like she wants to.

Its not about grasping the severity of the situation because if we didnt we wouldnt be doing what we are. Its about allowing people still to be upset about what they are missing

Daisypond I'm so sorry you are in that situation. Such a scary time to be having cancer treatment.

For most of us, I'm thinking of the school closures as hitting the pause button. The Y11s and Y13s I worry about. The rest I think will be ok IF we can manage to stick to the rules and contain this thing. It's not like a child losing a whole term while life carries on without them. It's a pause. Y1 teachers will meet YRs where they are. Then hopefully we will resume our normal lives, a bit more mindfully than we were doing them before.

Because they don't know what's going on they can't make peace with it and say goodbye today.

My DC is/was also in her first year of primary school. Her attitude and reaction is and will be going forward largely reflective of my own.

teenplus twenty

Just a point of information. Young people in the UK are expected to be in some form of education eg school, college, vocational apprenticeship until the age of 18 not 16.

So the current reception classes have plenty of time to catch up with their European peers, many of whom remember won't start a formal education until the age of 6plus.

My secret hope is that the government uses the opportunity to quietly get rid of Primary testing altogether. Obviously this year has passed, next year the current year five will not have covered all the curriculum for maths and English so it would be reasonable to give them a bye as well, and then who knows, if a two year cohort can survive their education without formal* testing, why go to the upheaval and expense of it at all.

*i am not saying there should be no assessment, but lose the misery of SATS.

Yes, my point of 16 is that it is the GCSEs that then act as the 'doorway' to next steps, but I agree I wasn't clear when I picked that age.

I think it's important to stay positive for our kids. I went to way worse crisis with my kids and my experience is that my mood has a huge impact on my little kids mood.

It's hard for everyone.
My house is alrrady crowded and now I have to work (single parent) and my kids stay home alone where my Y13 son tries his best to look after his younger sibling while my secondary aged children try to focus on their online learning.
I have no glue how I can feed my kids without the free school meals. Schools said they can come in and have a lunch, but it is worth it when they have to ride an hour every day in a public bus? On of my kids has serve special needs and is on oxygon support. I don't want to imagine what happens if one of my kids catch the virus and pass it on to her.
Both my kids with EHCP will miss out on their therapies. They will lose progress.

My plan is to do as many fun things as possible. Nothing big and expensive, but something they can look forward to every afternoon “after school“.
A cardboard house (we still have two huge boxes), baking cookies, some arts and crafts, a scavangerhunt in the dark house with flashlights, movie night, a yoga session, a fashion show...

I feel the same too. My 4 year old is in reception and going from the play based environment to the Year 1 environment will be a big shock, especially after months at home. He won’t be ready for that. My daughter is in Year 2 and I’m not so worried for her.

Their lives are being turned upside down and lots of things that they love and enjoy are being taken away from them. It would be great if currrent teachers could move up with them (our teachers often change years anyway) to make the transition a bit easier.

Y1 teachers will be fully aware of where YR children are and many will have experience of teaching YRs. I think all the children will need easing back into school and I'm confident that their teachers will be sympathetic.

I'm getting worried about my reception aged DD mental health wise. She has become very emotional, crying because she misses school and her friends, waking in the night with bad dreams.

We are trying to keep it happy at home, news doesn't go on, virus only mentioned if she questions why we can't do something, age appropriate (hopefully) responses.

We are trying to keep in touch with family on Skype but she has become withdrawn and doesn't want to speak to them. We aren't doing it frequently, maybe once or twice a week. We've done a couple of video calls to her friends and sent video messages. Not sure what else we can do?

She has stopped wanting to go out for daily walk/scoot up the road. I try and make it fun and interesting, but she is bored already.

She has a toddler brother, not a great age to actually play with, and he mostly disrupts or trashed games when I try and play something her age ability/interest. She is a bright girl, wants to play board games and Lego , or craft mostly. I'm tag teaming working from home with dh all day so there is only ever one of us at any time to look after the two of them.

Getting her to do any set school work is a challenge, it just reminds her she isn't at school and she gets emotional, she doesn't want me or dh to teach her, she wants her teacher! Trying not to push too much, but likewise she does need to try and keep up her education to some extent. I don't want to let her down, she is a sponge, was absolutely flying at school.

How can I help her?!

Sorry for the long post, I'm obviously anxious myself, maybe I'm projecting that onto her?

I agree with Daisypond's post,little children will be the least affected by this educationally.

I worry about my reception child. He is the youngest in the class as it was and started reception with a speech delay. He is already behind and probably too young really for learning to write and read and now he has missed half his reception year. My eldest in year 6 was ahead so I’m not worried about that but he has missed all the fun experiences year sixes get. I have to go to work in a hospital so won’t have the energy to home school. I just wish he could retake his reception year.

Don't focus on what is most. Focus on what is gained. Precious thanks me at home with family. A time where you can go slow
She may well love Year 1 more than Year R. Do t drive your mood down by dwelling on the negative. Try and find the positive and focus on that.

I'm definitely feeling this, I have one in reception and one in Y6. My little one keeps asking when he can go back to school, he was loving it so much. The older one is still enjoying the novelty but if he has to go from his small primary straight into Y7 at a big secondary it will be a shock for him, plus to miss out on all the usual Y6 stuff, residential, leavers assembly etc. I've also got a 2yo here and I'm having to work from home so I'm struggling with the 'slow down, enjoy the time together' stuff as it's just not enjoyable in all honesty. It's stressful and tiring, nothing is getting the attention it deserves and all of us will suffer mentally if this goes on for an extended period.