Anyone else anxious about reception aged children

[Puddleduck42]

I know everyone has different worries and fears. I know 4/5 year olds are young and this won't alter their lives forever. But if our children have just lost 16 weeks of their first year at school it's a huge deal.

I am not debating the coronavirus and what it has caused. Without a doubt this needed to happen. I guess I wasn't expecting them to say the rest of the school year.

I know the kids will adjust and adapt. But my five year old cried this morning when we gently told her school was closed for a long time and she could stay home. She loves school. She is with her own age group. She's learning. She's outdoors. She's invited to parties. She's reading and writing. She's eating lunch with her friends. She has a little playground that they all eat snack in and sit in there little groups.

The reality is she may never go back to that class and playground. When she does go back it will be a new classroom. Years 1/2 together. She will be with a new teacher. She won't be in the animal room where they are called foxes. She also gets extra help as she wasn't quite ready for the academic stuff when she started. But now she's starting to read and write and understand numbers a tiny bit. I know that her stopping this consistent stuff for months will hold her back. She will forget all she has learned. She will close up. I will work at home with her. But silence for months at home and not being able to interact with her friends just feels so unhealthy and rubbish for her. .

I have cried this morning thinking has my little girl finished reception. This virus has stolen away her first year and first summer of school. Even knowing she won't wear her gingham dress and walk to school on a hot day with her sunhat makes me sad. All the wonderful summer days ahead she should of had with her teacher and friends. Discovering more and more and preparing for going into year one.

I also feel sad for all the other children despite which year they are in.

Please don't point out the obvious. I know we need to do this. I know people are dying. I am just hoping they can do the summer term and this isn't the end for them all. It's so hard to protect her and prepare her for the unknown. If I tell her the truth that she won't be in that class anymore she will be so frightened and upset. As will many other kids.

Does anyone else feel this way.

Yes I understand OP and mine are in year 3 and 5.

On the way to school yesterday my dd(5) excitedly Told Me that on their visual timetable is a sign for 'school trip', which must mean that they will go on a trip later in the year. She was just so so excited. Now that might not happen. Not the end of the world, but still sad for he and us.

@thisislovelyme I got the dresses two weeks ago and got some knee highs too. I just feel robbed. I've also met some lovely mums at the school and the ten minute chat with them in the reception playground is nice. Maybe those days are over too.

I am sorry for your kids too. It's so sad for your DD not getting to enjoy her last month's of primary school. Those were the best days for me back in the 90s.

I also send you a hug about taking your kids to primary school together for the last time. It's those little things coming to an end that make this all feel worse.

I actually think the kids who are being kept at school as their parents are NHS workers etc are lucky. They still get to keep some normality and enjoy the company of other children.

Let's hope a month in isolation is enough for them to return to school germ free. They basically said the kids are ok and schools are safe anyway. They also said it won't make much of a difference but will just slow the peak slightly. So I don't think that justifies months of messing up a child's education and life in general. Would be different if they were catching it or spreading it like wildfire. Where I live there's not any cases so far. That's what is even more frustrating.

I get it

Op I feel for you. my DS is in reception too but we live in Singapore where schools are still open. We are projected to keep powering with open schools so he is continuing. I'm so glad for him - it would have been really hard for him to have stopped as he's made so much personal and academic progress since he started. I would be gutted if we were in the UK and this has happened. So hugs to you, and take heart in the fact she won't remember and she has a whole lot of school ahead of her

Yes, I am devastated. My DC is so social and thriving so well at school. He will miss his friends terribly and already so many of them have been pulled out and aren't there today. He is an imaginative and anxious child and will worry. He is so close to his grandparents and will miss them a great deal. I cried today dropping him off for the last time in God knows how long.

There are absolutely people worse off, and my heart goes out to them, but I won't apologise for how I feel today for a second. This is terribly sad and difficult for all of us.

@LoisLittsLover aww it is the little things though that mean the most to them and us.

My DD has had her first disco cancelled. Her swimming cancelled. Like many kids I know. But it's sad for them all isn't it. Now the weather's nice they should be outdoors learning about spring and enjoying their childhoods. Not stuck inside watching Bing and trying to write sentences whilst their little brother tries to steal the pens. (My household haha)

I totally get it OP. I had a massive cry about it last night - I feel like the next few months have been stolen from all of us. All our plans, big and small, are on hold. But mainly, my lovely DDs have had so much that they love - friends, ballet, swimming, etc - taken away.

I know it’s necessary, we’ve got no choice. But I feel very very sad about it. Almost like grief, actually.

@ploughingthrough

Bless him. Sounds like he is doing amazing. I have everything crossed for you all that your children don't have to be taken from school etc.

I think people will regret signing the petition to keep them off. I wonder if Boris was pressured. But people probably thought it would be a 4 week Easter not a 4 month isolation.

Our foundation parents have a whatsapp group, so we're going to use the group for the kids to send videos and pictures to each other, so they can keep in touch. You can apparently also do a group video call on there, so we'll hopefully do that. It's a small thing, but it's something. Maybe you could look into quickly setting something up?

@Imanamenotanumbernow

I agree. We only want to protect our kids. I think that's the hardest part is this is affecting our little people directly. It's a scary world once we can't protect our children.

After months of fun at school and being in that atmosphere I can't think of anything more boring for a five year old than being home with mum and toddler brother for months. They like being productive and busy. They like getting fresh air and running about. I already can see my DD whinging she is bored by Tuesday and eating all day. There's only so much work she will want to do.

I just lost a long message, but I’ll just say- we are a week “ahead” of you, in that our schools closed last Friday. I think my friends and I went through the stages of grief. We’re now swinging between Acceptance and Anger. My children are similar ages to yours, and the fabric of their lives has been ripped apart. They ask questions, not all the time, and I answer them as honestly as I can. I think this will be a defining moment in their lives, so I’m determined to cherish this unexpected time we have together, even though I had (big) other plans. You’ll get used to the idea, because you have to.

@balloonsandbunting

Where abouts do you live and how long are yours closed? I guess it's normal to feel grief then. I feel absolutely flat about it. I just want my DD to be on her happy safe little world. I truly hope they stagger the new kids next year so all kids can do a couple of months back in their classes. They will cope better if at least for a while they go back to their familiar classroom and get reunited with all their friends and teachers again.

It's sad. I get there are worse things but it's still a big thing for families and small children. My daughter is in school nursery. I was already feeling like the year was flying and now it's likely to be over. I am an NHS key worker but I won't be sending DD to school as DH can work from home, so it's taking advantage. I want to though as DD would love it.

DD hasn't quite realised the implications yet and just thinks we are having a longer holiday. There is going to be lots of questions: can we go to the park? Can I see my friends? and the answers are going to disappoint her. I still have to go to work, so we won't be isolated as a family, so will remain at more of a risk of illness. Therefore I feel like we can't see grandparents etc even if we aren't on lockdown.

It is sad for the little ones.

But it isn't about a month in isolation and returning germ free.
Their parents and the teachers are also out in the world doing their own jobs or buying food.
This is about slowing down spread so as not to overwhelm the NHS, not particularly about protecting the children (who it seems are least at risk anyway).

Yes I do understand that. But the children need to also be considered. Their mental health is at risk here. Months away from other people and no education or life outside the house is depressing and unhealthy. It's going to make alot of little people anxious, confused, scared. It's going to mean alot of children will never be the same again. They will loose confidence, fall behind. They won't understand why parents are being odd and changing all they usually do. It's a very huge thing to put a child through. My DD is five and will be very fed up and down in the dumps in a week's time. She thrives off being at school and loves being there. She is going to not see other children for a very long time. That's not a good thing at all.

Thank you for posting this. I have been so upset for my DS in reception. It's just dawned on him that he might not play in their lovely role play area again and was so sad this morning - just thinking about it has set me off crying again. I feel so silly as of course this is a sacrifice for the greater good, but I can't easily explain that to him 😢

My DC is reception age too. They will be fine. I can teach the academic side. I’m more concerned about social and sport activities tbh.

My friend’s daughter is in her final year of primary. In September when they most likely return, she will be going to secondary. I feel that is an awful lot harder at that age than my reception aged child.

I havnt thought about it that far ahead and now i feel really bad on my DD. I assumed everything would be back to normal in 6 weeks ish

Surely if the whole country is missing that much school it would make sense to just restart the year for them as such? Maybe some people would mind, I wouldnt mind if my DD had to start her year again, I'd rathar that than her miss out on it all completely

I completely hear you. My son is also in reception and really missing his friends as he has been home this last week. It's not just the not going to school bit that stings, but his birthday was in May and he had been planning for it for ages, as all his other friends were having parties since September. I can't take my children anywhere either. So cooped up like chickens for probably months is absolutely terrifying.

This will definitely have an impact on their mental health.

@Puddleduck42 We don’t know how long schools will be closed for - they’ve said definitely until mid-April when they should go back after Easter, but we suspect it will be much longer. We’re in Germany. It’s the lack of social contact that really bothers me too, and I agree it could be very bad for the children. I do think there should be a balance. Here, they’ve closed the playgrounds already. We are lucky (sometimes!) to share a garden with our neighbours, so we’ve kind of created one family for the purposes of isolation. If someone shows symptoms I guess we will stop that. Anyway, chin up. What you’re feeling is completely normal. My son asked about his imminent birthday this evening, and I told him it would probably have to be just us. He was devastated, and understandably so. I’m sure these things will keep coming up.

Having a wobble (and a little cry) in the middle of the night my son is in reception and doesn’t have any siblings and I’m just so upset and worried for him about the social isolation side of things! He has a lovely friendship group at school and I just don’t understand how he is meant to just suddenly not have any contact with children his own age for the foreseeable future? How can that be good for him? I’m just so upset.

@Darcydashwood . I'm awake at 5.30 feeling down. I've seen many news articles saying it could well be September. Including the Welsh minister. They said they will open them as soon as the virus allows it.

I really really hope over the next month the cases drop. What upsets me is they don't seem to think kids are a problem. They also don't seem to think it will do much other than take the peak down a tiny bit. I think they said 15%. So surely putting kids through such a horrible long period of isolation is damaging.

Only children will be lonely. My DD has a 2 year old brother but he's not interested in what she is. Yes they play together abit but that's not enough social interaction for her. Not to mention the fact I need to be able to teach her stuff whilst he's trying to clamber all over us.

This is what I'm wondering. can they really do this until September knowing how far behind children will get with their work? Some children will be ok and I think years 1-5 will be reasonably ok when they go back. Most of these children will be with the same teacher still in the same classroom. it's more worrying at my daughter's school for the reception kids and the year 6 kids. The year sixes are upset because they don't know if they will ever see their friends again. One of my friends that I walk home with has a year 6 child who was crying after school yesterday. she told me she was upset because they had cancelled her leaving party and then a disco so she's really emotional.

I think especially for primary school kids they need to be around their friends. Many of them won't see children away from school. It's hard for us as parents to make this feel so normal for them and keep them happy, when we are going to be so limited with what we can do with them. I honestly feel the magic of learning comes from being in the class room with your little friends. my daughter will learn maths etc through the special skittles and learning cards and and stuff they have in the classroom. We have books at home and yes she's got a tablet now. But that's not enough to inspire her to be alone at home. I've bought a couple of books of eBay to practice maths and science in but Its not as interesting as school.

Even 6 weeks of this is going to be long and hard for them. Especially because we can't go for a day out and we can't have fun with people and and ideally they don't want you to take them in a shop. Even that's hard to explain to a 4-year old or a 5-year old who likes going in the shop for a treat sometimes. I hope that the government work out a way for the kids to just literally go to school and come back home. If they cancel all other social interaction in their lives and keep them home now for a month to ensure they are not carrying anything. Then it would be fairly safe for them to go to school and just come home. I can't see how keeping them off for 4 months is going to be fair or even work. What really annoys me about the prime minister's decision is a lack of detail. He just said kids can't go to school anymore after today. He could at least of explained further to us how much time this maybe for and also explained what he will expect from schools when they do go back. So if they will go back in September what is he going to do to make sure the children are ok? I know he's got a lot to think about but millions of children and their mental health should also be one of his big priorities. I'll be really disappointed if it is September because my daughter will basically be starting again from scratch. She will have all the confusion of why we've been home for so long and why we're going back. then she will be even more scared and confused if she realises she doesn't have the same peg anymore or same room anymore. I'm terrified as well that she will forget all of the moments she's had up to now. She's in a class of 18 children and then there's another 18 children in the other classroom. They all mingle together throughout the day after register so she's got 30ish friends technically.

I'm just angry for all the children. This affects them alot and it's really depressing. Not to mention many children will have rubbish parents. Parents who can't be bothered to teach them anything, parents who who don't look after their kids and general, parents who neglect and treat their children badly as well. imagine being a child that lives in those situations and the only happiness you have is when you're at school with your friend and teacher. I think a lot of children are going to be really stock and and anxious through this next few months if they don't allow them to go back to school. Whilst I'm all for protecting other people we also need to be protecting our children from this misery as much as possible.

@Darcydashwood my DD is similar (I have a newborn too but too young to do much). I've arranged with some of her friends to do video calls so they all get some kind of interaction.

@Puddleduck42 the lack of clarity of frustrating, for the schools too as they are being told the same as us. They don't know which kids will be there Monday and many parents don't know if they can send their kids.

With the length of time, it's hard to say and I understand why bojo hasn't given one, the virus and the general population is unpredictable. If everyone follows the advice then it could be relatively short, but with so many insisting on carrying on as normal that isn't likely to happen to may push it to September (or later) for reopening.

Even if the schools closed for a month and reopened with strict social distancing, there is no guarantee the parents would do this and one child carrying it could then infect many more in the school to take it home and infect parents, parents go to work/shopping/visiting older relatives and it spreads more.

So, as shit as it all is I do understand why it has to happen. Doesn't stop it being shit or stop the worry about our kids though.

What we do need to have is a plan for the parents who have to take time off unpaid or at reduced pay. I saw bojo say something like 'if businesses take care of their staff the government will take care of the businesses' but that's not actually saying much for the people facing no income and kids at home indefinitely.