My daughter playing Donkey for school play

[sperit]

Dear all,

I needed your advise.

I am extremely upset with the my daughter school teacher that has assigned my daughter to play the donkey on the Christmas school.

She was previously attending a different school where she was being bullied so I looked for a private school.

My daughter is a girl of colour and on the previous school she was being called ugly and that her hair was not beautiful. So I enrolled to a private school. I did this as I had the same issue when I was growing and my father looked for a suitable private where I was extremely happy.

When I enrolled My Ella to the private school I mentioned the issues.

So I found out 2 days ago that my daughter has been assigned to play the donkey and wearing a dark brown suit. I feel upset to the that they could not assigned Ella with a different role.
So I had a discussion with her teacher and I told her how disappointed I am and whether she could find a different way for Ella to contribute on the play such as being on the choir. Her response was no as at this stage she cannot find nothing else and I know it looks but is not what I am thinking and the that is going to be a funny show.

What do you guys think should I still allow my daughter to play the donkey????

In general, I’d agree that if something isn’t suitable for your child’s wellbeing, then you should talk to the teacher about your concerns.

But I don’t see how a typical donkey role in a nativity is embarrassing or going to lead to the child playing the donkey being bullied.
Unless there’s something unusual about the donkey’s role in the version your school is doing?

My husband was the donkey in our nativity when our daughter was Mary so that he could carry her on his shoulders and the congregation could see her. It went down a storm. I think you are looking too much into this. My son over the years has been a sheep, a shepherd and this year is an angel. Unless your daughter is unhappy I think you need to stay schtum.

Donkey was the star of the show at my dc's school one year. That child nailed it with his creativity and charm. My dc was very jealous, she wanted to be a donkey next year.

For what it’s worth OP, I have two mixed raced children and in your circumstances I’d react too. One of mine was told he had to be the gingerbread man in his all the children could choose but mine was told “he’d make a lovely gingerbread man”. Over my dead body.
And I bet that everyone telling you are are overthinking it are white and or have never had their children treated as “less than” because of the colour of their skin.

My child is mixed race...

Maybe if OP could clarify why she believes that her DD playing the donkey would mean she's going to get bullied?

Maybe it's because it's one of the best parts and the other children would be jealous? That's the only logical reason I can see for it...

My Ds would jump at the donkey part. It’s a really fun ‘character’ part isn’t it?

I am the mother of a mixed race child, who has been the only one not from a particular racial group. I felt the need to give my credentials.

It depends on what the role of donkey is, which has not been clarified
Is it a fun part with lots of lines? in which case maybe she was chosen because she was the best actress.
Is it just standing there being a donkey in which case maybe there is an issue.

You are overthinking this. My son has been a donkey, a fairy light and also a princess in various school productions

Perhaps the issue isn't your DD, but your responses to her.

There was a child at my dc school whose mother insisted had selective mutism, and yet the child was bubbly, talkative interacting with both other children and other adults until their mother came into the classroom and the child would clam up. Perhaps you are making your DD feel anxious around you.

And as to what world I live that would be the real one.

I do not know what world you live in.

Apparently a world where you think it’s ok to be rude just because it turns out that about 150 people disagree with you.

DS was a schools OFSTED inspector one year. That was novel...

Eddie Murphy was the Donkey in Shrek thrice over and it didn't seem to do his career much harm.

My son was a sheep .... the reality is with 30 kids in a class they can’t all have a starring role ! With a few more years under my belt I now of course realise that my son being the sheep was the best choice - anything with too many words or too close to being the centre of attention he finds terrifying and it has a big impact for all the weeks and weeks of practising. His reception teacher judged him well.

Your child’s daughter may be letting your daughter stay out of the limelight so as to not overload her as she’s new ... or she may be in the wrong ... you really cant know yet

My daughter played "mist" one year.
It was such a big class the teacher was obviously mystified ("mist-ified"... sorry) as to how cast them all. Hence, a scene was incorporated in which DD and five others flapped about in white nightgown-type things while Joseph, Mary and the donkey walked across the stage.
Made playing the donkey look a whole lot better.

I played an "icicle" one year. I honestly can't remember what I did in the play but I was insanely excited to be an icicle and my mum made me an awesome costume.

The donkey was always the star part when I was at school, as the donkey had to sing a solo.

To put it into context, I was snow one year. It involved running across the stage dressed in white. That was it. I’d have been very happy to be a donkey

"And I bet that everyone telling you are are overthinking it are white and or have never had their children treated as “less than” because of the colour of their skin."

Yeah, right. My children are mixed race. But obviously I never experienced some form of racism ever, and I must be white to think Donkey is a lovely role in Christmas play. Figures.

Eddie Murphy was the Donkey in Shrek thrice over and it didn't seem to do his career much harm

Good point

@LaMarschallin That's genius by the teacher - you could have LOADS of mist in any play!

I played an "icicle" one year. I honestly can't remember what I did in the play but I was insanely excited to be an icicle and my mum made me an awesome costume.

This is exactly the way you should be reacting OP like @Clutterbugsmum says - it is down to you^ to respond with support and encouragement, not make your dd feel small

Bonkers. My dd has only ever been cast as an extra. Today she posted a Christmas card in her school play. She's also been a sheep and a bee. Parents don't get to pick.

macropont I was Mary many many years ago. I had no lines and apart from walking across the stage from the inn to the stable, all I did was sit by the manger looking at the baby doll Jesus (and scowling at the boy playing Joseph as we did not like each other!) Many roles in the traditional/not so traditional nativity play do not have lines and don't require much acting.

I always give the donkey role to children who listen as they have lots to do, move around the stage lots and remember routines. It's a compliment to her.

Why do teacher do this to themselves?
No nativity, no Christmas Party, no Christmas Fayre.
Get the kids to constantly do reading, writing and maths.
Never let the parents in.