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Original poster

My daughter playing Donkey for school play

198 replies

sperit · 04/12/2019 10:34

Dear all,

I needed your advise.

I am extremely upset with the my daughter school teacher that has assigned my daughter to play the donkey on the Christmas school.

She was previously attending a different school where she was being bullied so I looked for a private school.

My daughter is a girl of colour and on the previous school she was being called ugly and that her hair was not beautiful. So I enrolled to a private school. I did this as I had the same issue when I was growing and my father looked for a suitable private where I was extremely happy.

When I enrolled My Ella to the private school I mentioned the issues.

So I found out 2 days ago that my daughter has been assigned to play the donkey and wearing a dark brown suit. I feel upset to the that they could not assigned Ella with a different role.
So I had a discussion with her teacher and I told her how disappointed I am and whether she could find a different way for Ella to contribute on the play such as being on the choir. Her response was no as at this stage she cannot find nothing else and I know it looks but is not what I am thinking and the that is going to be a funny show.

What do you guys think should I still allow my daughter to play the donkey????

OP posts:
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BackforGood · 05/12/2019 00:14

Doesn't help though, does it?

The constant criticisms you read on here every single day.
When you're shattered at the end of term, got hours of pointless paperwork backing up, have given up hours preparing for the Christmas play or concert or whatever, and then if this is real a parent complaining about their dc getting a main part Confused

Chuck this in with the thread about the teacher encouraging the little one in Reception to socialise and then the other thread where everyone is saying they'd tell the HT to F Off for daring to suggest all the dc attend the Christmas concert they are putting on in an evening - that's just what I've read in the last hour or so.

Not the cause, but it doesn't help.

PurpleDaisies · 05/12/2019 00:18

Difficult parents hand always been difficult. It’s all the other bullshit from the government and academy chain heads that gets people to quit.

I’m not saying these situations aren’t annoying, but they’ve happened for donkeys years...

Pipandmum · 05/12/2019 00:20

My daughter played the donkey when she was in primary. She's white, though I'd say about a third of the kids in her class were of ethnic minority. There was a song about the donkey. It was a better role than shepherd or angel.

ineedaholidaynow · 05/12/2019 00:34

We had a real donkey when I was in my infant school nativity Xmas Smile

Portulaca · 05/12/2019 08:01

My son had to play a flea in the school Christmas play one year. He cried when he was given the role but he was so cute 💕

Portulaca · 05/12/2019 08:03

Although a flea on the donkey was pushing the story to its very limits 😂

Jodie77 · 05/12/2019 08:06

This reminds me of love actually where all the kids are dressed up for the nativity and one is the Christmas lobster!

CountFosco · 05/12/2019 08:36

DD1 was the donkey in reception, it was the main part (given to her as a sensible old girl in the year). A friend's daughter was the midwife one year, again the main part which she did brilliantly. There was a brilliant Strictly nativity as well with the inn keeper's wife as one of the judges. My favourite was when half the year were aliens though Grin. Mary always seems to be a minor part these days, it's the weird parts that tend to be the main parts.

organiccoffee · 05/12/2019 10:37

DS's very first role in nativity play was donkey when he was in nursary, and we were all very happy about that. And in fact, donkey was one of the few roles that actually had solo action and lines. Just let them enjoy the show, I don't think it's anything to do what you are thinking of.

Pinkette06 · 05/12/2019 11:48

In my nativity there was two boys who played the donkey, one was the donkeys head end and one was the donkeys back end!! The boy who was the donkeys bum didn't turn up for the plays, can't say I blame him for that Grin

Crazycrazylady · 05/12/2019 22:13

My ds is the back end of the donkey and incredibly excited.. everyone fought over it apparently and he 'won' the part. 😀 you are massively over thinking this!

ineedaholidaynow · 06/12/2019 00:55

I remember a few years ago a friend getting all excited about her Y6 son being in his final play at school and assuming he would have a major part with many lines and good photo opportunities, so she would have some lovely lasting memories. He ended up being the back end of a pantomime cow 😄

fallfallfall · 06/12/2019 06:01

m.youtube.com/watch?v=0jQvYMISqLw
Too appropriate to not link

Didiplanthis · 08/12/2019 14:43

We had the strictly nativity too !! I remember being VERY proud when dd was Mary. I only discovered later it was given to the shy quiet one who mumbled as it had very few lines !!

CruCru · 08/12/2019 15:06

The donkey is a really good part. The one in our nativity gets lots of lines and is onstage a lot.

I wonder a bit why you have mentioned that this is a private school. State or private, only one girl can be Mary.

I will be amazed if the teacher has cast a child as a donkey to be racist.

Cloudyyy · 08/12/2019 15:11

You probably are being silly but to be honest I can see why you’re upset!

Original poster
sperit · 08/12/2019 17:59

Gosh ,
Look I do not feel my daughter is above any character but there are reasons behind which I have explained.

I do not know what world you live in. Even her Dad that is white felt that it was not ideal for her to play the donkey but please do not be discouraged to be a teacher.

My daughter teacher is great we get on well and I like her but it does not mean that if I feel that something is not suitable for my daughter well being I will not bring forward then you guys are completely wrong.
Especially when she has suffered bullying that caused her to stop speaking for months.

OP posts:
DoesntLeftoverTurkeySoupDragOn · 08/12/2019 18:56

I do not know what world you live in.

Kind of rude.

Why did you bother asking for opinions? Clearly you don't actually want them you , just want people to agree with you.

BackforGood · 08/12/2019 20:23

I do not know what world you live in.

At present there are 169 messages on this thread.
Even if some people have posted more than once, I'm going to guess there are still about 150 people telling you you are being completely bonkers and of course you should not only allow your dd to be the part she has been given, but to encourage her to enjoy it.

I'm going to guess that those 150 come form 150 different backgrounds, not one.
From different cultures, from different countries, mainly from different parts of the UK.
From different economic backgrounds. From different education backgrounds.
As parents who have had dc go through this stage of their lives, we've mostly appreciated the work that goes in to producing these nativities and enjoyed them for what they are. Most of us are able to accept that there is only one part for 'Mary' one for 'Joseph' etc., and our dc generally don't get to play them, and that is okay. Even if they get a part that seems minor (and, in many versions, the donkey isn't a minor role) - I remember ds being "3rd pole carrier" once Grin - that is still okay. You can still^ enjoy the play and, even if they were disappointed (which you've not said your dd is), it is a good lesson in life that we can't all always be the star.

crankyhousewife · 08/12/2019 21:11

My daughter was the donkey but got the last laugh as the local paper did a feature on the local schools nativities with photos of some of the children. Not only did she get her photo in the paper but she was right in the centre of the page with the biggest photo. She was ever so pleased.

Cloudyyy · 08/12/2019 21:12

Yes but it isn’t just about not being the star, is it? I would be more than happy for DD to be 3rd pole carrier, or a member of the choir generally or any other quiet, small part. I wouldn’t be happy with her playing a potentially embarrassing part though and I do think in certain circumstances, playing a donkey could be embarrassing.

BackforGood · 08/12/2019 21:14

How ?

Inkythemouse · 08/12/2019 21:25

Ds2 wanted to be the donkey more than anything and was not impressed when he was cast as a shepherd.
Dd is Mary this year and is jealous of the boy who is the donkey.
It seems to be a sought after role in my dc school

Kuponut · 09/12/2019 10:38

The donkey absolutely stole the show at DD1's nativity last year. Was the funniest part there and the kid who played it absolutely nailed it bang-on.

This year DD1 is an ugly sister (they're doing a pantomime) - while I don't especially like my beautiful daughter being given a part with the designation of "ugly" - she was adamant she wanted to do it because she gets to sing about her bottom and wiggle it on stage in front of the whole school (I'm slightly dreading just how far she's likely to take this) and she's overjoyed with what she's got!

The one play part I DID get pissed off about was the teacher who just shoved all the children with special needs in the back row in a "I don't want to have to deal with these kids" manner that typified the entire year.

DD2 made an epic sheep at one point as well - nearly fell over on her arse at the end trying to show the Head BOTH her snazzy Christmas socks simultaneously in front of everyone!

Vagndidit · 09/12/2019 11:03

You're overthinking this, Op. The donkey in our Nativity is a major role, has a so bit and all. The teachers would only cast someone reliable and confident to pull it off.

I never gave it it a second thought when DS was cast as the back end of a camel in his reception nativity. 😂 Maybe I should have...?

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