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Original poster

My daughter playing Donkey for school play

198 replies

sperit · 04/12/2019 10:34

Dear all,

I needed your advise.

I am extremely upset with the my daughter school teacher that has assigned my daughter to play the donkey on the Christmas school.

She was previously attending a different school where she was being bullied so I looked for a private school.

My daughter is a girl of colour and on the previous school she was being called ugly and that her hair was not beautiful. So I enrolled to a private school. I did this as I had the same issue when I was growing and my father looked for a suitable private where I was extremely happy.

When I enrolled My Ella to the private school I mentioned the issues.

So I found out 2 days ago that my daughter has been assigned to play the donkey and wearing a dark brown suit. I feel upset to the that they could not assigned Ella with a different role.
So I had a discussion with her teacher and I told her how disappointed I am and whether she could find a different way for Ella to contribute on the play such as being on the choir. Her response was no as at this stage she cannot find nothing else and I know it looks but is not what I am thinking and the that is going to be a funny show.

What do you guys think should I still allow my daughter to play the donkey????

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Lotus90 · 04/12/2019 10:56

I think this may be more your issue than anyone else's

YouJustDoYou · 04/12/2019 10:57

I personally wouldn't project my own issues onto my children if they had no awareness of what this could be potentiallyseen as. Ifshes happy to play that part is that not ok? (My children are non-white also btw)

Wintersnowdrop · 04/12/2019 10:59

My dd was once the angel Gabriel 😇. She had an extra sparkly costume much to my friends horror as her dd was just an angel lol.
At the next play my dd was a star and wouldn’t sit with the stars as she wanted to be an angel! After that I think my children were usually and sheep. Our primary school nativities were lovely and really funny. I remember the sheep and Sheppards had a really funny song. I think you are overthinking it,

newname12 · 04/12/2019 11:00

Are you saying the school have cast her as a donkey because the costume is brown and she is brown skinned?

Are you american? "of colour/color" is an american term not used much here. Certain parts of the US would put a different slant on it....

If she's joined the school recently the parts may have been cast already. i know my DD didn't even get a part when she joined a school shortly before christmas. How do you know they're not actually trying to include her by giving her a part rather than shoving her in the generic choir?

I am not familiar with the donkey in a main part, but from what others are saying it sounds like it might be a major role.

Have you asked your DD? Is she upset?

UtterlyUnimaginativeUsername · 04/12/2019 11:00

A mince pie?! Brilliant! Nativity plays in Ireland don't seem to be that inventive.

ChaosisntapitChaosisaladder19 · 04/12/2019 11:01

What has her colour of skin got to do with her being a donkey? My son has ginger hair should I take offense because he was a carmel? Stop being so silly and using the race card to get you're own way because you're unhappy with the part you're dd was given.

newname12 · 04/12/2019 11:03

oh god- this has just brought it back to me.

Aged about 5 or 6 in the 60's I was actually dressed up as a golliwog and had to do a little dance in the school play.

Holy fuck. Now that would be something to complain about.

SantasLittleHelper2019 · 04/12/2019 11:06

I was the back half of a donkey in primary! Boy who was front half was a bit windy 🤢 was not great under that blanket 😂

Looking back it is a fun memory

Danni91 · 04/12/2019 11:06

My son was the donkey once
He loved it
This year hes an angel, hes 9.
He's looking forward too it!

ChickenofDoom · 04/12/2019 11:08

I am white so it's not possible for me to see this from the perspective of someone with darker skin, but I'm struggling to see how a nativity donkey has racist connotations?

Does the school have form for acting in racially discriminating ways or is this an isolated concern? Are there other dark skinned children at the school- if so what have they been cast as?

It's not for me to question the validity of your feelings but I think you need to step back and consider the possibility that you are seeing an issue that might not be there.

SaltedPeanut · 04/12/2019 11:12

A mince pie?! Brilliant! Nativity plays in Ireland don't seem to be that inventive

Not only a mince pie. He was number 1 mince pie, out of a box of 6. He had a speaking line... "Let the Christmas feast begin!" He said those 5 words with such gusto - bless him! He still gets teased about it now 😂😂

TheHodgeoftheHedge · 04/12/2019 11:14

I was the donkey in my school nativity play. I loved it and can still remember the song I sang :)

Seriously, what's the issue here? Are you trying to say she's only been cast as the donkey because of the colour of her skin?!

whyamidoingthis · 04/12/2019 11:19

I think my ds can beat you all in terms of crap parts. He was once a rock

AHippoNamedBooBooButt · 04/12/2019 11:19

So your dd has been assigned one of the main parts in the play and you want her pulled off that and stuck in the choir because you've decided they are being racist because the costume matches her skin?? Really?
Are only white kids playing Angel's? If so, well you may have a point, if not your are being utterly ridiculous.

3 ds's here and they've only ever been shepherds. At least I've not had to find a new costume each year though

Naillig222 · 04/12/2019 11:46

A woman wrote into a talk show I was watching the other day when they were talking about nativity plays. He son was the donkey and took his role very seriously and was roaring hee-haw every time he was on stage 😂.

It's good that the teacher isn't taking race into account when she's giving the parts. You seem to be the one focusing on that.

sirfredfredgeorge · 04/12/2019 11:50

So your dd has been assigned one of the main parts in the play

The OP doesn't say anywhere that the Donkey is one of the main parts, that's purely been suggested by others based on others projections of the importance of the donkey in the story / their productions. I've never seen a production where the donkey is anything more than scene dressing given to kids who don't want parts.

ThreeLittleDuckies · 04/12/2019 12:06

I'm white, I was always cast the rubbish roles in school plays. Not every child gets the role they want, I think you're looking too much into this.

Original poster

sperit · 04/12/2019 12:31

Thank you so much for your replies.

I just don't want my daughter to suffer any bullying for playing the Donkey I am worried with her wellbeing

OP posts:

Quartz2208 · 04/12/2019 12:32

why would she be bullied if she has a good part?

sanityisamyth · 04/12/2019 12:35

My son was the donkey at his last school play. He loved it and I was really proud of him having quite an important role rather than just one of the roles were there are lots of them (shepherd 1-18 etc!).

Does she actually mind being the donkey?

AndAnon · 04/12/2019 12:36

My DS has white blonde hair and a very pale complexion. He is a sheep. He has been asked to wear all white.

I think he looks adorable as a sheep and feel so proud. I doubt his casting was because he is white and pale. It’s because he is very shy and doesn’t have to speak.

Don’t read into it as a racism thing!

christmassymcchristmas · 04/12/2019 12:36

Bullied?! Why would she be? Love the kid who was a rock. Brilliant

ysmaem · 04/12/2019 12:40

Is this her not wanting to be a donkey or is it you not wanting her to do it? If she's happy playing the part then I wouldn't make an issue out of it. But if you're really upset about the colour of the costume then maybe ask the teacher if you can choose and purchase a different colour donkey costume for your daughter.

Ohdearme81 · 04/12/2019 12:41

My daughter is a cruel innkeeper that turns out the pregnant woman about to give birth to the saviour of mankind.

What should I read in to that?!

MrsFoxPlus4Again · 04/12/2019 12:46

My twins are trees. And one of those trees like to pretend it’s exceptionally windy. I think your being overly cautious because she’s been bullied previously. I bet there’s other kids who’d have love to be the donkey!

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