Lunchbox police

[Homealone2015]

Dd is in reception and has a lunch box most days as she's quite fussy. A TA sits with them at lunchtime and constantly tells dd that "mummy gives you too much chocolate" "you need more fruit".

Her lunch currently consists of a ham sandwich, half a bag of quavers, a mini choc chip cake, a yogurt and a penguin choc bar. She will eat most of this. It's been trial and error trying to find things she will eat at lunch. She won't eat fruit/veg at lunch time, it's always still there when we get home. She's only just started eating fruit at snack time.

Yesterday dd came home upset as this ta "keeps telling her off" over something she has no control over, shouldn't the ta be talking to me? As the person who makes her lunch if she has a problem??

Dd has constipation issues and is taking regular logical so I know how important eating the right food is, but I'd rather she ate something at school than nothing .

I agree with the TA actually

Although the TA shouldn’t be telling your dd she does have a point!

That's a really awful lunch but maybe you know that. Have they spoken to you already and you didn't change? Perhaps they're trying to teach her nutrition directly?

If it was my dd, I'd speak to her teacher and ask if they could have a gentle word with this particular TA as it's making your daughter uncomfortable at lunchtime, and after all, it's down to you what is packed and what she eats.

I'm a teacher who is now working as a TA and I also do lunch duties! I see super healthy and super unhealthy lunchboxes but wouldn't comment to the child, as it's not down to them! Parents pack them. This TA should give it a rest really, it's unfair nagging. Speak to school.

Agree they should be talking to you not your DD, but they do have a point... Even if she won't eat anything healthy, surely she doesn't need quite so much rubbish...?

The TA needs to contact you rather than whinge at the child

I would talk to the teacher about it. Or pack her a banana with a note telling the TA where they can shove it. You can't tell kids off for things their parents do.

It's not their place to teach nutrition. They should gently encourage the children to eat so they aren't hungry.

As a mum I may think the lunch is not the healthiest, but that's not the point here.

A TAis overstepping the mark, haranguing a child about the state of their lunch.

I've seen lunches of two plain pieces of white bread and onion rings. And nothing else. Would I nag the child about the state of that? It would be insensitive and crass.

Speak to school. The nutritional content of the lunch is not the TAs business.

She won't eat any fruit or veg at all?

As frustrating as it is, I suppose from the TAs perspective if there's no fruit or veg in the lunchbox to even gently encourage her to eat, then it does look like a chocolate heavy packed lunch.

No wonder she's on Movicol if you're giving her so much crap for her dinner. Just exactly how do you know what the TA is saying? Has your DD got perfect recall?
The only semi healthy thing you're giving her is a ham sandwich, and as ham is processed, even that isn't great. Everything else is taking her way over her daily limits for fats, salt and sugar and contains no fibre, vitamins or minerals. Just excess calories.
Please don't use the excuse that your DD won't eat X and will only eat Y. If my mum had only given me what is basically party food for my dinner I would have refused to eat more healthy options too.
You're right though, the TA should be speaking to you rather than your DD.

It's chocolate heavy, it's not ideal, but if she'd like to teach nutrition she ought to go and train up!

I'm afraid nagging and bullying children to 'eat it all up' or equally nagging about the standard of lunch (in some random unqualified TAs eyes) is a bugbear of mine.

I completely agree - it's an unhealthy lunch

It's not the same everyday, just an example of one this week.

@snitzelvoncrumb I like that idea!!

I've already spoken to the school about this last month. I've asked that she speaks to me and not dd as I'm the one making the lunch box.

I completely agree - it's an unhealthy lunch

It's not the same everyday, just an example of one this week.

@snitzelvoncrumb I like that idea!!

I've already spoken to the school about this last month. I've asked that she speaks to me and not dd as I'm the one making the lunch box.

Why the need for two chocolate bars?

It's not the same everyday, just an example of one this week.

Could you give some other examples?

Too much junk I'm afraid, yogurt is also laden with sugar, quavers too - for a five year old a sandwich, fruit, carrot sticks plus one treat is the right sort of lunch so it's cake, penguin, sweet yogurt or crisps.

I wouldn't be happy, all the TA is going to achieve with her nagging is the introduction of food anxiety.

OP have you tried a wide range of fruit? My ds eats all fruits but my dd only likes the expensive stuff (!) - mango, pineapple, berries....
keep presenting it at home and eat lots yourself to set the example?

Apologies if you've already tried it all. I gather even though it's not my experience, that some children are just mega fussy.

At my school the chocolate, cake and crisps would be confiscated and a note left in lunch box. If there wasn't enough food for child left to fill them up they would be given a school lunch. However this is all explained in our welcome pack that parents agree to when their child starts sp no should not be a surprise.

She eats fruit/veg at home. But won't eat it at school.

I'm trying new ideas for her lunch box, I'll swap one thing and hope she eats it.

Can we just clear this up I know that's an unhealthy lunchbox!!! Just an example from this week.

My point was the ta's reaction.

Yes you are right to be cross, the TA shouldn't be shaming your child, she should be talking to you.

I look after younger children and they tend to leave their fruit behind and just eat the crisps and chocolate so I understand your reasoning about waste. However, we as parents do help to form our child's eating habits so we do have to set healthy norms.

I would ditch either the bar or the cake and replace with a healthier option. You can make it interesting- carrot/cucumber sticks with dip, colourful mixes of chopped grapes, apple, cucumber and tomato etc. Then you've supplied the healthy option - it's the TA's fault if she hasn't encouraged her to eat it!

I’m understand and it’s so hard.

I agree that if there is an issue with the content of a lunch box this needs feeding back to you, but also agree with TA as that may have been an opportunity to teach healthy eating etc with your child.

The lunchbox does seem lacking and I wondered if you had time, assuming all the food is shop bought and not home made, if you could sneak veggies or fruit in there? I say this as a parent who never has time but would need to find some by batch baking etc.

I also don’t know how old your daughter is re portion sizes. My son is four and has packed lunch for holiday club which consists of: ham or turkey sandwich, a small pot of crisps (a bag of Pom bears usually lasts the week), 10 grapes cut up (we may buy another fruit pot from the shop, depends what we have in) and a frube. Every Friday he gets a chocolate gold coin as a treat.

If I wanted to sneak some more fruit/veg into your daughters lunch I would bake muffins. I’ve googled and come across these ones:

www.healthylittlefoodies.com/vegetable-savoury-muffins/

Also other ideas on here

www.bbcgoodfood.com/recipes/12418/lunchbox-snacks

I’d swap out the chocolate bar for something like raisins or the bear fruit treats. Be mindful of sugar on the adult versions. Definitely have a chocolate treat if she is bothered once a week.

You could also buy veg crisps, rather than quavers.

Go in and talk to them?

And as for this:

Or pack her a banana with a note telling the TA where they can shove it.

How rude and pathetic would anyone be to do this.

If she eats it at home then I would certainly persevere with it at school. The longer you give her a sugar full lunchbox the more she will realise she can play you into giving her what she wants!

And it doesn’t matter if everything is eaten. The “must clear plates” mentality isn’t healthy.