Lunchbox police

[Homealone2015]

Dd is in reception and has a lunch box most days as she's quite fussy. A TA sits with them at lunchtime and constantly tells dd that "mummy gives you too much chocolate" "you need more fruit".

Her lunch currently consists of a ham sandwich, half a bag of quavers, a mini choc chip cake, a yogurt and a penguin choc bar. She will eat most of this. It's been trial and error trying to find things she will eat at lunch. She won't eat fruit/veg at lunch time, it's always still there when we get home. She's only just started eating fruit at snack time.

Yesterday dd came home upset as this ta "keeps telling her off" over something she has no control over, shouldn't the ta be talking to me? As the person who makes her lunch if she has a problem??

Dd has constipation issues and is taking regular logical so I know how important eating the right food is, but I'd rather she ate something at school than nothing .

That is a very poor lunch however you are right, TA should bring it up with you not go on at your child.

The TA is totally wrong and unprofessional to bring this up with your child. Ours refused point blank to wear the uniform so we made substitutions that she would wear that were as close as possible to the uniform- think regulation tights but with a Hello Kitty stamp, and she had a Shimmer and Shine t-shirt instead of the school polo neck on under her pinafore (the collar was different but the design was barely visible). Her shoes had sparkly laces but were a otherwise regulation. Our child's TA talked to HER about it and she is now, months later, still upset about it.

I know the uniform wasn't perfect but we were doing our best and the TA, had she spoken to us, would have found out about our child's sensory issues that prevented her from complying with the code.

Do you not get universal free school meals?

I don't understand what the problem with her just having a sandwich, yogurt, one treat food and fruit/veg that she may/may not eat is tbh. Especially if she's eating a snack as well.
It is a pretty standard thing in schools to say to the kids "tell Mum or Dad you're shoes are too small/you need long sleeves/you need wellies on a Thursday/your supposed to have plain water in your bottle"

Do you not get universal free school meals?
Maybe OP doesn't live in England.

That’s not really an acceptable lunchbox health wise. But the TA or school need to speak to you. Probably TA is thinking if she can just plant the seed of thought in DDs head about food and healthy eating it might help her in future. It’s not a thought without merit because I can see my kids pick up ideas and thoughts like this from various sources and it does help with the message but seriously OP, that lunchbox needs work.

For the record OP.
Frube - 8g sugar
Ham sandwich - 4g sugar
Choc chip brioche - 6g sugar
Penguin - 10g sugar
= 28g sugar in her lunchbox alone. Pretty shocking. What else does she eat in the day? Probably another 28g sugar easily depending on what she’s given.

RDA for a child is a maximum of 25g PER DAY.

Happyspud is right about children getting ideas from different sources. My DS often used to quote his teachers as if I was wrong and whatever they said was gospel!! Today I sent him with an apple, pear, 2 satsumas and a club biscuit and a home made pasta salad with capers, chopped olives, roast peppers, cherry tomatoes and green beans and parmesan shavings. To be fair, he is 24 years old!!

My son had this lunchbox and it was no one else's business lol x

I don't think it's nothing wrong for TA to say that her lunch box was unhealthy. It's true. They do healthy eating lessons at our school from reception, and they talked about nutrition etc, so, it's part of it.
If it was just one off that she had too much chocolate in her lunch box, the TA wouldn't have said she was given too much chocolate.
I do have very fussy eater too, so I can see that it's difficult, but either you take it and change, or ignore what they say if you know she is having enough nutrition out of school, and tell your dd that's fine.Though I do agree, chocolate bar in the lunch box isn't a great choice, you can swap it with something else.

I am a little surprised that your dc is allowed that kind of lunch at school. The last couple of schools my dc have been to wouldn't have allowed most of that food due to sugar levels.
The plus point of the TA talking to your dc is that you have now say to your dc, we need to make your lunch boxes healthier for you like mrs x said, " do you want a or b" instead.

Whilst I agree and you know that lunch isn't healthy. She shouldn't be making your child feel naughty as it's not her fault that's what she has for lunch.

My 4 year old has packed lunch and apart from the very occasional biscuit. It's only fruit that's added alongside a wrap/sandwich and cheese.

My frustration with schools and lunches is that packed lunch children are policed whereas hot dinner children have cake for pudding.

DD’s lunch consists of
Peanut butter sandwich,
A portion of dried fruit, nuts and seeds
A banana or apple
Beef jerky, bulging, or dried vegetables

"My frustration with schools and lunches is that packed lunch children are policed whereas hot dinner children have cake for pudding."

But the school dinner puddings are closely monitored for ingredients and have much less sugar content.

It's not simple, but we as a parents made a choice to send our children with packed lunch and not have school dinners, due to many different factors, like fussiness/allergy/etc. By doing that, we took responsibility to provide children with healthy lunch that goes with school policy.

The cakes at dc's school had no sugar, they weren't very edible I must confess.

OP, have you tried putting in a carton of fruit juice - organce, pineapple etc? You can freeze them and put them in frozen so you don't need the ice pack in her bag. Also, salted pop corn is higher in fibre than crisps so you could maybe decant part of a small bag of salted pop corn into a tub to include instead of quavers.

I sympathise though. I gave up giving DS carrot as it just travelled to school, came home and got fed to the guinea pig. I just stick with cucmber (but it has to be sliced not in fingers - ask your DD if the shape would makea a difference ), plus the apple juice, plus a form of dairy (yoghurt / cheese spread pot with breadsticks etc), then dried fruit if she'll eat it as they tend to survive being bounced around in a lunchbox better than fresh fruit. Again, rasins would help her fibre uptake.

You could maybe try a "better" lunch and see what comments you get back via your DD. She may say the TA was proud of her eating her fruit etc.

It’s not the best lunch, she’s does not need a cake & a chocolate. It should be one or the other, leaving 1 item out isn’t going to starve the child.

The TA is absolutely right but shouldn’t of said it to dd as that’s unprofessional imo. She should of spoken to your directly

do love a good old judgy lunch box thread MN do love to pick apart a perfectly normal lunch box.

OP FWIW it seems fine to me and I would be cross with the TA too!

I also had a fruit refusing child, who is still a fruit refuser aged 13. Now a strapping, healthy and slim boy.

The other one isn't a refuser and he is also a slightly less strapping, healthy slim boy

"The TA is absolutely right but shouldn’t of said it to dd as that’s unprofessional imo. She should of spoken to your directly"

I really don't agree. If your child does eat everything in her lunch box, then it's totally parent's choice what they put in to their lunch box and if it was blamed as unhealthy, they need to be told. . But if they pick and choose what they eat, sometimes it's better to come from someone other than parents, that they choose to eat is not great choice for them. Sometimes children listen better if it came from teachers/TAs rather than parents, imo.

Screamanger I presume your DC isn't in a UK mainstream school as most wouldn't allow peanut butter because of allergies in staff / pupils. My DC has never been in a childcare setting that would allow peanut butter.

Every single thing your daughter has for lunch is an ultra processed food. It is no wonder she has constipation issues.

Totally with the TA on this. Your DD having an unhealthy lunch is her business. It is harder for other parents to give healthy lunches when the children come back saying that all the other kids have crisps or chocolate or one of those sugary yoghurt things every day, let alone all of them together.

You are the adult, please take control of your DD’a diet or you are setting her up for a lifetime of obesity and ill health. She is already constipated!! It is much easier to tackle now and she will get used to it.

My dd suffered with sever constipation- but was also severely under weight.
She eventually made the link if she eats food she needs to go, so at school she bearly ate ( Just incase she had to go to the loo at school)
She ended up with a similar packed lunch to your dd and she could pick bits of it. I always thought it was better she ate something rather than nothing.
(And when explained to the school they where on the majority pretty supportive )
I would approach the school and discuss the issue with them again.

"sugar and fat in her lunch box. Could you swap the cake for a home made muffin?"

How is a home made muffin lower fat and sugar than a cake bar?

TA should definitely be speaking to you and not the child. Utterly ridiculous to make a 5 year old feel sad - it's completely out of her control. Teachers don't like confrontation do they? Always go through the child.

TA does have a point. But is completely unprofessional.

@eyewhisker is there any need to be so judgemental? Do you know what it's like to have a proper fussy eater? Sometimes it really is a case of give them what they'll eat or they won't eat at all. No need to make other parents feel like crap is there?