Lunchbox police

[Homealone2015]

Dd is in reception and has a lunch box most days as she's quite fussy. A TA sits with them at lunchtime and constantly tells dd that "mummy gives you too much chocolate" "you need more fruit".

Her lunch currently consists of a ham sandwich, half a bag of quavers, a mini choc chip cake, a yogurt and a penguin choc bar. She will eat most of this. It's been trial and error trying to find things she will eat at lunch. She won't eat fruit/veg at lunch time, it's always still there when we get home. She's only just started eating fruit at snack time.

Yesterday dd came home upset as this ta "keeps telling her off" over something she has no control over, shouldn't the ta be talking to me? As the person who makes her lunch if she has a problem??

Dd has constipation issues and is taking regular logical so I know how important eating the right food is, but I'd rather she ate something at school than nothing .

00100001, are you serious?

"How is a home made muffin lower fat and sugar than a cake bar?:

Not saying you should make home made muffins, but there are hundreds of ways to make muffins more nutritious and less fat and less sugar than chocolate bars.

Ok, firstly, you need a stunt fruit that can go back & forth a few days without getting battered, so that TA can see there's fruit being provided & it's not just that you DGAF. Tangerines are good, as is a little tub of grapes. Bananas or strawberries less durable!

Then start putting cucumber/tomato slices in the sandwich. Again, they may get picked out, but they may not - & it gets TA off dd's back.

I say this not because the TA isn't right about it being an unhealthy lunch; it is, you know that, TA knows that. But because her nagging your dd to eat food that isn't there is counter productive, whereas if there was a piece of fruit etc your dd was refusing, at least she might be able to persuade her where you can't - & if she can't either, it might make herself more sensitive to the fact that your dd is a genuinely fussy eater.

Also try less obvious fruit & veg. After years of apples'n'carrot sticks, my dc (older) tend not to eat them unless starving. They'll scoff sweet corn (yes I know also high sugar content) or olives or gherkins (bleh) or anything like peppers or mangetout that comes with a pot of soy sauce to dip it into, though .

Another good option - if she'll eat it - is cold pasta in a sauce with lots of hidden veg. I make a batch of this & freeze in small pots. Pretty gross & slimy cold if you ask me, but the dc happily eat it as a change from a sandwich. In fact it's a great lazy option as I can just grab 3 pots out the freezer if I CBA making sandwiches. Or rice with veg? Same principle?

Greggers. Yes, I am judgemental because this is a child’s health we are talking about. the child can’t take care of themselves so it is up to adults.

My brother also had a fussy eater. I treated their kids and mine for lunch, let them order what they wanted (nuggets and fries) and then my fussy niece barely ate any. Back home, she went straight to the fridge to have a frube. Clearly there is the odd child who will eat very restricted, but giving them 2 choc bars, crisps and a frube is giving them an appalling idea as to what a normal diet is and making it harder for everyone else too.

The best dietary advice I heard was that the parent chooses what the child eats and the child chooses how much to eat and as long as they are not emancipated, don’t stress.

Eyewhisker, get down from your high horse. Anyone would think you were talking about your own child.

OP has said that her DD eats fruit and vegetables at home. It is possible to eat fruit and vegetables and still have constipation. My kids sometimes did at that age, and it can happen to me for various reasons now.

No need to judge at all.

"Not saying you should make home made muffins, but there are hundreds of ways to make muffins more nutritious and less fat and less sugar than chocolate bars."

Hmmm, the suggestion was to replace cake with a "home made muffin" (not a chocolate bar) ...and the implication that it being homemade would suddenly make it somehow significantly lower in fat and sugar.

If you don't make it with fat, sugar, eggs and flour what do you make it with?

Bear in mind, this is mumsnet, where only butter will suffice (no low-fat spreads here please) and the use of artificial sweeteners is a big no-no. especially when giving to children.

Low/no sugar muffins are rank. I tried making some and they ended up binned. I am really reluctant to waste food but they were inedible. They resembled polystyrene. I'd rather give less ordinary cake than that. I have 2 boys with ASD and could write a book on food struggles and negotiation with schools.

"If you don't make it with fat, sugar, eggs and flour what do you make it with"

0010000, the muffin I make consists with flour/ baking powder/baking soda/ yogurt/ as main ingredients, with added bit of coconut oil and a bit of sugar, and some fruits/nuts and chocolate sometimes. Still edible and dcs loves it, since they are allergic to cows milk and eggs, no choice, and I can easily control amount of sugar.

@Eyewhisker I think you mean emaciated. Not emancipated.

If my DD didn’t eat her fruit or veg at school I’d assume she was satisfied with the rest of her lunch, not replace those things with crap. My child gets more treats than she should but she is always offered some of cucumber/carrot sticks/lettuce/tomato/peppers at lunch. I’m trying to teach her what a healthy lunch looks like without forcing it down her throat.

Stunt fruit 😂😂😂

Put the stuff from the play kitchen in there.

Remember people on mumsnet seem to have miracle children who love all veg and eat whatever they are given...

My dc have more sugar than ideal, but I have had an eating disorder for 20yrs that has been horrendous to live with, so I am trying to be flexible with food rules and good vs. Bad to help them have a happier existence than me. They have things like jam if having toast, a small biscuit/mini cake/evil sugary fromage frais/ raisins after school and occasional home cooked puddings. They have school lunches (we are lucky, their small private school makes wonderful healthy food and they eat much more veg variety there plus fruit provided at break) so I rarely do packed lunches. When needed I have had most luck with interesting sandwiches, cucumber, blueberries/grapes, humzingers, raisins, babybel/cheese chunks, mini pepperami, flavoured crackers.

Good luck.

That is a pretty awful lunch and would never pass in our school. My fussy child has a wholemeal roll with ham/cheese/houmous, breadsticks And cheese, fruit - satsuma/berries, carrot sticks and a yoghurt or maybe a soreen bar thing or raisins. And I worry I give him too much sweet stuff. Maybe try cutting the chocolate/crisps down bit by bit now with the aim of after summer only having 1 treat food? Or working on giving her a 'lunchbox' over the summer at home over the summer so jt wont be such a shock to her?

I confess my pair have stunt fruit or emergency fruit as I have thought of it. Satsumas and cherry tomatoes tend to travel to and fro from school several times.

I am shocked that you would make that lunch for your child.
Ham should not be given daily or even weekly. Chocolate and crisps don’t ever have a place in a school lunch box.
The TA shouldn’t be speaking to your child, however am surprised you haven’t been called into school.

herculepoirot2 yes stunt fruit!

A small Tupperware pot of dried apricots can last half a term in this house

My dc do actually eat fruit & veg. They eat a lot more than they realise because I grate a shitload of carrots, courgettes etc into everything I cook, but they'll also grab fruit at home if I keep a bowl stocked, or munch on a nice crunchy cucumber straight from the fridge.

They've always been crap at eating this stuff in packed lunches, though, because it's always a bit warm & tired.

So when they were small, I got into the habit of putting suitably robust items in their lunchboxes just so they/I didn't get grief about them, & then refused them all snacks before dinner EXCEPT fruit or veg.

They're teenagers now & more likely to choose their own healthyish options for their pack up & actually eat them, but it's still a useful trick to indicate compliance with school policy.

Ham should not be given daily or even weekly. Chocolate and crisps don’t ever have a place in a school lunch box

Oliver? Cromwell? Well, of all the places...

That lunch is shocking!! DD’s school doesn’t allow chocolate or crisps at all!! There are TONs of options for packed lunches.

My dd doesn’t eat sandwiches and takes any of the following;
Cous cous with veggies
Wraps (ham or chicken)
Pasta salad/rice salad
Soups
Leftovers from dinner in a hot flask
Olives, pepper, carrots, cucumber
Hummus
Any fruit except banana
Dried fruits, nuts, pretzels, crackers, bread sticks
Yogurts,
cheese slices
Jelly with fruit in it
Peanut butter with Apple to dip in it.
Homemade flapjack
Handful of popcorn for a treat on a Friday

There’s so much more to lunches than sandwiches and crisps

Do schools in the UK not have healthy eating policies?

My kids’ school doesn’t allow any treats except for Fridays. Crisps and fizzy drinks are banned completely.

Plus it seems like a lot of food for a little kid. And mine have pretty big appetites. They take some form of sandwich plus some fruit/veg.

Schools do have a healthy eating policies. Parents ignore them. It's worst when the children are sent in with energy drinks (which primary school aged children really shouldn't be having).

TA was unreasonable in speaking to the child, not the parent. The lunch box does not sound healthy, but it always surprises me when schools ban sweets from packed lunches, when school's own menu features chocolate gateaux or victoria sponges with every meal.

I'm surprised that many here are so shocked by this lunch! I've been working in a school for 6 months (in a very middle class area) and this kind of lunch is very normal. Many kids have far worse. There's one girl who has the same everyday which is 3 little bags of biscuits, 1 frube and a twirl. That's it, no sandwich or anything! Another girl has a bag of quavers and a pot of yogurt every day, that's it. I notice that many, probably more than half have mostly sugary foods in their lunch boxes. There are very few I see and think "That's a healthy lunch". Like I said this is a fairly wealthy area so I dread to think what kinds of lunches kids from more deprived areas have.

@SallyWD I teach in a school in a deprived area (in Ireland) and our children always have at least one piece of fruit, a roll/ wrap or sandwiches, yoghurts, pasta, etc etc they are simply not allowed to have crisps or chocolate end of!! Seems parents in Ireland do as school policies ask!

No such thing as school dinners here either so that’s not an option.

Soonsoonsoon, with respect your child is not fussy if they will eat all that. My son refused to eat anything but potato waffles for about 18 months. Literally nothing else. We saw doctors, health visitors, dietitians and everything. I tried ignoring it, bribing him, being angry, the lot. He went for over 2 days with no food when I tried to not give him potato waffles as people advised. He just would not eat anything else. I really thought he'd starve himself to death and the dietitian advised just letting him eat them rather than nothing, alongside working on widening his range.

@youngandfree I'm glad to hear it! There is a healthy eating policy where I work but it seems most people ignore it.

Aside from sandwich (ham/houmous/cheese/marmite) and cucumber/tomato and fruit, we do one home baked sweet/fruit based thing which includes yoghurt. Once a week they have crisps instead of the sweet thing. Never chocolate and not two sweet things. My DC are 9 and 10 and that lunch fills them up.