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Primary education

Join our Primary Education forum to discuss starting school and helping your child get the most out of it.

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Original poster

Triplets in the same clas?

53 replies

MilaRose · 02/06/2019 20:59

Hey everyone!

I'm new to this site, but we've got identical triplet girls who will be 4 in July and thus starting primary school in September. We have been so torn on whether to apply for the girls to be in the same class at school or in the 3 parallel classes that are available. We have really looked into it and are still just as confused as the start!! Two of them (D & A) are naturally more clingy/similar to each other as one (G) is more independent in her nature and strikingly different in personality, leaving the school to suggest placing D and A into one class and G into another. But this doesn't sit well with me. I feel that if i'm going to separate them then they should all be separated, not 2 together and 1 alone. It's so difficult because they've obviously always been together and they really rely on each other but at the same I can see how being separated may let them develop more as individuals. We're just so torn and really confused. I think it is made all the more different because they are identical, we want to give them all the same opportunities.

The options we are torn between is:
-All girls in separate classes
-The girls in the same class (meaning they will make up 3 of the 20 members.)
-D and A in one class and G in another

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PotteringAlong · 02/06/2019 21:03

3 parallel classes. Let them develop independently and without comparing themselves side by side to their sisters.

Recavanometer · 02/06/2019 21:05

All in same class till they settle. There are so few advantages of being a twin/triplet that being with your siblings when you first start school is one of them. Mine fight like mad but held hands all the time when they first started.

gotmychocolateimgood · 02/06/2019 21:05

There are triplets in my DCs' school and they are thriving in separate classes.

ps1991 · 02/06/2019 21:06

Separate classes, in primary school they will have playtime in the morning, lunchtime and afternoon so they will get to be with each other then. They'll be able to develop their own social groups and further develop their individuality

Deafdonkey · 02/06/2019 21:07

All girls in separate classes!! They will still spend their break times together but it will give a chance for all to develop their own personalities, plus stop unfairness. I have Id twins and it did them the world of good. We had a problem in reception (where the two classes were together) where one twin kept getting left out. For example they would go and get their fruit and twin 2 would be refused as the helper would say they had already had one. If one got into trouble and had a warning if the other did something they would immediately be in trouble. If anything it's my shy twin that benefited the most from being on his own as he had to move from his brother's shadow. I know it's a big move starting school but I thought if they were singles they would have to do it, I'm sure seeing each other at break makes it easier.

AdaShelby · 02/06/2019 21:07

Our school policy is to always separate twins/triplets.

neversleepagain · 02/06/2019 21:09

My twin girls are in separate classes and it has made them so independent. They have their own experiences, their own teachers, friends and stories to tell me after school. If I had triplet girls I would most definitely choose three separate classes.

My cousin has triplets and hers are in the same class, they're not particularly independent of each other and I think they would be if they weren't lumped together all the time.

Deafdonkey · 02/06/2019 21:11

Also they can't always have the same opportunity. Sometimes one will be invited to do something and the others won't, or they will develop a passion for something which takes them different places. They will always have an amazing bond.
Just to add we didn't send our twins to the gorgeous local village school where my elder ones went as only one form entry and I don't want them to forever be seen as one.

Recavanometer · 02/06/2019 21:12

TAMBAs recommendation is they stay together for KS1 I think and that schools shouldn’t have blanket policies.

My friend’s id twins were split in y1 and they were ill with the stress of being apart.

carben · 02/06/2019 21:12

I think I would go for all 3 in separate classes with an option to review the situation after a period of time.

user1474894224 · 02/06/2019 21:13

I believe latest research is that it's better to keep them together at the start. www.nhs.uk/conditions/pregnancy-and-baby/twins-at-school/

Also from a logistic perspective often in reception kids have whole class parties....one set can be demanding enough. Times that by 3 and you might find it a challenge. (I have 3 kids - separate years - I was eased into the logistics challenges.)

Skyejuly · 02/06/2019 21:13

Definitely together for key stage 1 then maybe look to switch.

crocsaretoocoolforschool · 02/06/2019 21:23

I'm a multiple, I was split from my sister and if I had multiples I'd split them too

GrumbleBumble · 02/06/2019 21:25

Does the school set class for the whole duration? I have a relative with twins they did reception together then were split up in Y1. If the school mixes classes at some point or has classes that aren't at capacity so there is the option to split them later I would start them in the same class with the plan to split them in Y1 or Y3.

stellavisionandunderstanding · 02/06/2019 21:31

I am an identical twin. Let them be in the same class. They will tell you when they are ready to split. They all rely on each other and learn through observation.

stellavisionandunderstanding · 02/06/2019 21:33

I get so passionate about twins and triplets being split. I was split at secondary and it was very stressful. Together all though primary.

fedup21 · 02/06/2019 21:34

We have pretty much always split twins and (the one set of) triplets-the parents have suggested it.

HomeMadeMadness · 02/06/2019 21:52

I think the advice from Tamba was that twins generally did better when kept together but it should be for the parents to decide. The reason was that the twins have been used to being together and draw confidence from each other's presence so instead of just playing together (as is usually the concern) they are actually emboldened to make more friends as they feel more confident.

Oneminuteandthenallgone · 02/06/2019 22:27

Definitely together for key stage 1 then maybe look to switch.

Some schools don't mix classes and if they also have low mobility this may not be an option (although 3 form should have some movement).

brimfullofasha · 02/06/2019 22:52

I would keep them together. Starting school can be hard on children and they will be at an advantage to have the comfort of their sisters.

Hersetta427 · 03/06/2019 10:16

3 separate classes. It will help D&A develop their own independence and not be so reliant on each other. You will just be making the situation harder by keeping them together and you are then treating them all the same.

GreenTulips · 03/06/2019 10:23

It’s not fair on the child who has to move class and resettle without friends. Don’t do this.

Decide now, it you may find school policy already states separate.

Mine were in different classes and now being in GCSE years are in some classes the same - they are compared and tell on each other!! I get to hear things I shouldn’t!!

Oh and one was clingy, but it’s great he now has good friends to rely on and remembers his own stuff rather than rely on his sister

suitcaseofdreams · 03/06/2019 12:40

Parent of (non ID) twins here. Mine were together for Reception and most of year 1, separated end of Yr 1 (now Yr 3). I moved them to a new school to separate them as initial school was 1 form entry - it was clear from half way through yr 1 that they needed to be separated - twin A is more academic and more sociable than the other and this was having a v negative effect on twin B. They have thrived in separate classes and definitely don’t want to be back in the same class (I ask them every year) - and they get on better at home for having time apart at school too.

In your situation I think I might put them together for Reception (all 3) and then review and potentially separate for yr 1. BUT only if the school mixes the classes around each year as otherwise if you decide to separate after Reception then one gets to stay with all their classmates and the other two have to start with new classes which feels unfair. I def wouldn’t put two in one class and one in another - either all together or all separate...

Ultimately though, you have to do what is right for your specific children - there is no right/wrong answer here. Are they in preschool/nursery? And if so, what do the staff there think? They may have a helpful perspective. Assume you’ve read the TAMBA literature too? I found that useful and they also have a helpline you could maybe speak to?

It feels like a massive decision I know, but remember no decision is irreversible so you can always try it one way and if it’s not working it, work with the school to resolve it :-)

Also, just noticed that it’s 20 per class for 3 classes which seems unusual as class sizes are usually 30 - do they at some point further up the school combine to be 2 classes of 30 or do they stay as they are? If they combine, that’s something to take into consideration too...

Hollowvictory · 03/06/2019 12:44

I'd split them. I sit my twins. Best thing I did. They don't get compared to each other, they've got their own friends. Multiple birth children do better academically when not together.
It was a bit strange for them but they soon got used to it.
Nobody needs to be with someone else 24/7. Let them flourish as individuals.

MyDcAreMarvel · 03/06/2019 12:48

Our school policy is to always separate twins/triplets.
Schools are no longer allowed to have policies on separating multiples, it’s uo to the parents.
Op I left my twins together as per TAMBAS advise.

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