Detentions at primary school

[MiraCurtis]

Good evening All, My 10 years old DD suffered detention today for allegedly scratching another girl, although she swears it was an accident. Her punishment? Spending her lunch break sitting on a carpet facing the wall in the main access corridor outside the headteachers office in full view of anyone passing by. Can anyone please enlighten me on the use of this type of punishment? (irrespective of the level of misbehaviour) Is it common practice in primary schools as I was completely outraged by the use of such a humiliating method of punishing a young child.

OP, your hyperbolic language isn’t helping you here, but broadly I agree with you. Being made to sit on the floor facing the wall in a corridor is humiliating - I assume it’s intended to be, because some parents and some schools do use shame as an easy way to demonstrate their power over children - it is nothing like sitting on the floor in assembly when everyone is doing that, together. It didn’t encourage your DD to reflect on her behaviour, did it - it encouraged her to reflect on how unfair they were and how hard done by she was, which is very normal for that style of punishment and very counterproductive IMO.

I think you need to clarify your issue before you talk to the school, though. Separate out the apparent unfairness of how your daughter and the other child were dealt with from whether the seat of shame is inherently awful. Look at whether what happened was in line with the behaviour management policy or not. You’re not going to get an apology, but what are you hoping to achieve? Framed the right way, the school might at least pretend to be receptive to your constructive feedback.

This mumsnet slavish adherence to whatever schools say can be quite annoying. My child is lower down the school than yours, but I moved him largely because of a crap behaviour policy which demonstrated no understanding of children’s needs or emotional well-being. Guess what? New school, same challenging demographic, fewer rules, less complicated/deferred/punitive system for managing behaviour - and radically better behaviour. I guess I am ‘that’ parent but my own preference for loitering in corners trying not to draw attention to myself is considerably less important than ensuring my child is reasonably happy, reasonably well-behaved and mostly ready to learn.

None of the girls were injured physically , as other girls failed to produce any evidence of scratches. So injured is total overstatement. Sitting on the floor at assemblies as the whole school is completely different from being made to sit on the floor on your own in the corridor where everyone is walking. I thought we moved from medieval.
You dont have to put someone down to make them feel bad. I feel sorry for your kids, i can only imagine what kind of punishment them get at home! Im glad there are people, including NSPCC who think every human deserves a human treatment.

Sitting on a chair would also single you out in a corridor where everyone is walking...

🤷‍♀️

Whatever, OP, I'm off to bed. Have a good one.

None of the girls were injured physically , as other girls failed to produce any evidence of scratches.

This makes no sense. I don’t think you are telling us the full story here. If it’s because you don’t actually know the full story, than a good place to start is by clarifying further with the school. Otherwise, as has been said, move schools.

OP, unless you are an expert in primary schools and disciplinary methods, I would be careful how you tread.

This sort of attitude of parents and everyone in general thinking they know better is the root cause of why teaching is in crisis and people want to leave!

Yes schools get it wrong but why would you know better? I’d rather schools had fully evidenced policies as opposed to reactionary ones due to the loudest parents.

NellWilsonsWhiteHair, thank your for sharing your experience. I had a metting with headmaster and asked for policy on detentions and criterias on how certian types of punishments are applied to ensure equality, but guess what? They dont have one in place! After I raised the question they started investigation, after the punishment was apllied! So they called my DD and other girls asking them what actually happened, as my DD said girls came out saying that teacher said to them : just because she is your friend you dont have to say some things were accidents rather than deliberate action. As i see it the school now trying to "fabricate the case" to justify their own behaviour or shall i say misconduct. I am not palnning to change the school as my DD doesnt really get much in troubles. But I do worry how it is going effect DD now. It should not I know so I still prefer to keep a faith in the professionalism of those who we trust with our kids

Interesting drip feed there OP...

So you think the school have "horrifically" abused your daughter and perpetrated a human rights violation but you aren't planning on moving schools?

MsRabbitRocks, there is no more to what i already said. Im not trying to cover up for my DD or anything. To me the issue wasnt the detention as such but this particular type of punishment that i find appauling that schools are still using nowadays. Im not against isolation but im against humilation of a child, whether mine or anyone elses. The phrase Put someone down comes from actual actions of someone putting another down, below the normal level. The school managed to combine both. Will they appologise? I guess after they exhaust all other resources. But i shall wait and see before i decide on my next step

Your story keeps changing, it’s hard to keep up or make sense with what you are saying. Anyway, am off to bed now.

Iggly, trust me I do know a little bit more than fresh teachers who are just out of uni walls. And I see nothing wrong with putting my hand up and admit if I am wrong but not the teachers!
No, I am not changing the school - I prefer to try to help to improve some of my current achool mentality.

MsRabbitRocks, how does it change? Must be my english!

MsRabbitRocks, I guess it doesnt make sense as Im trying to answer all posts in one rather than individually.

Oh come on, a violation of human rights??

Ah. Has been said many times already....

I wonder who's version of events you have heard about the altercation and punishment?

I can't believe you contacted nspcc about it!

Mine are at secondary and to be honest I'd rather they were sent to isolation than have to sit like this in the corridor. More privacy and less embarrassing

@PCohle Ok. Lets imagine your mum is at nursering home and one day you find her sitting on the floor in the corridor facing the wall for an hour.. I doubt you will say thats ok.. so why when the same is done with a child you think thats acceptable?

Human rights : I guess many of you dont fully understand what falls under this category, all i can say please educate yourself as with some of mentalities of people in here , Im pretty sure you may need it at some point.

Because I wouldn't find any "punishment" of an elderly individual in a nursing home acceptable.

Children are still developing and part of school's educational role includes disciplining children when their behaviour falls below the standard required. That's part of how they learn.

You clearly do recognise that punishment for children is appropriate when it is a method punishment you approve of (including missing playtime and writing letters of apology) so your question is incredibly disingenuous.

Pcohie: NO! I put example here of unhuman treatment, why i used elderly because they not always can stand up for themselves the same as young kids so people misuse it.
Its an open chat and people are entitled to their opinion and I pleased that so many of you actually do find this humiliating method of punishment being unacceptable.

Little update: after talking to a few agencies that look after wellbeing of children it was detected that this type of punishments are inappropriate for primary school children so Im starting a formal complaint. Also, I just thought it will be quite useful for schools to arrange a third party meetings where parents are make aware of their rights. Thanks to all for your input.

I'm sorry I don't really follow what you're saying.

You said previously I think excluding a child from playtime is a good enough punishment for a primary school kids.. Or as suggested write an appology letter. I see nothing wrong with such detentions. So clearly you do think some forms of punishment are appropriate for children.

PCohle: sorry for the confusion. Yes, absolutely! im ok with disciplining kids but in appropriate way.

And are you ok with disciplining elderly people in care homes in those "appropriate ways" or do you recognise that that two scenarios are totally different?

PCohie, I dont understand what you talking about? Where did you get that from? Is it your imagination or is it my poor english? I can only put it down to my english as i really dont understand where did you see me saying im ok with punishme t for elderly?? Honestly, I thought you were smarter than that!

You asked me if I would be ok with elderly people in a care home being punished in the same way your daughter was.

That is an incredibly disingenuous argument because the two situations are completely different, as you yourself has recognised.

Disciplining children is appropriate, disciplining the elderly isn't.