Detentions at primary school

[MiraCurtis]

Good evening All, My 10 years old DD suffered detention today for allegedly scratching another girl, although she swears it was an accident. Her punishment? Spending her lunch break sitting on a carpet facing the wall in the main access corridor outside the headteachers office in full view of anyone passing by. Can anyone please enlighten me on the use of this type of punishment? (irrespective of the level of misbehaviour) Is it common practice in primary schools as I was completely outraged by the use of such a humiliating method of punishing a young child.

She deserves to be humiliated if she injured another child

No child deserves to be humiliated. Ever. It’s not an emotion that supposedly educated adults should be facilitating.

Thank you everyone for sharing your thoughts and some examples from your kids schools. I didnt put the whole story as i thought it will divert attention from my main question. Its a very banal one: two girls didnt get along for whatever reason and equally not being nice to each other, which resulted in some pushing ( my DD was pushed against the fence) and scratches from my DD towards the other, not a nasty one. No marks or anything like that, I was told my DD scratched the other girl by accident, but without going into much details- I think 2 girls being equally at fault and both of them got detention but while the other one was giving a dignity if serving her punishment in teachers office sitting on the chair, my DD was made to sit outside in the main corridor facing the wall for the entire lunch time. There are lots of questions i have for school, one is why they have being treatung differently for the same misbehaviour. While i dont question the detention as such, I question the type of it. As i said myself and my husband were horrified to learn that school finds this type of punishment acceptable as in our view it doesnt really serve the purpose of the punishment, which is reflect on your behaviour and realise it was wrong. When i asked my daughter how she felt - her answer was sad and embarrassed. She also told she equally felt embarrassed to be pushed in front if the others so to me all school did is eventually the same what other girl did to my DD. But as I said while story is long, it wasnt my main concern. When someone above said that eventually every punishment is your power over the child, i would say power or control diesnt mean you have to have a power to humiliate anyone. As also mentioned above, what kind of example schools sets for kids?

Focus on my DD behaviour? Now im here as i want to focus on how school where kids spend 6.5 hrs 5 times a week for 39 wks a year, staring from the age of 4 , where we send our kids to be educated on all aspects all life ( along with parents when at home) are actually abusing their power in a way that noone should be allowed let alone the teachers. What do you think it will teach young kids? They will think that putting someine down and humiliate is normal as thats what teachers do. I think those that suggest thats normal and nothing wring with it been treated this way either at home or school as noone in clear mind will think thats acceptable. Thank you to all of you who think its not ok. And this is a primary school fir kids from 4 to 11, where they cant really say anything back to a teacher. I personally would like to walk into the school and see any child being treated that way, no child whatever he did. Its not effective!

Sorry: ** i personaly would NOT like to walk into the school and see any child being treated that way.

I don't think the punishment was in and of itself humiliating though. You think the other girl's, more private, punishment was fine, so your issue seems to be that other children became aware that your DD was being punished. I don't think that's necessarily a bad thing.

She seems to have been involved in quite a serious physical altercation with another child. It's important for the school to set clear expectations that that sort of behaviour won't be tolerated.

What punishment do you think is appropriate?

As far as the law is concerned the school has wide powers to set and enforce standards of behaviour. Calling this an abuse of power won't get you anywhere (other than being viewed as THAT parent). What they have done is not wildly unreasonable. As Admission says, if you are unhappy with the school's behaviour policy you need to find another school.

We had to face the wall in our lunch hall if we ever got a detention and then go and see the headmaster. I don't think any of us are scarred from it!

I agree that it seems a bit of an abuse of power, I wonder what the nspcc have to say about it? Might be worth calling them?

No please do not call the NSPCC as advised by a pp and let them use their limited resources for cases of actual child abuse!

Get over it. How is it humiliating? Children sit on the floor al the time. For every assembly for example. Is punishment supposed to be enjoyable? It's appropriate.

@OkBobbie, thank you for the advise! I did call NSPCC and spoke to their help line describing the situation. I was asked to hold while they would consult with the manager - than they got back to me advising this type of punishmnets are inappropriate and first step is official complaint and then in case if any issues, I can contact NSPCC.

Since reading your further posts OP, it does seem unfair that the girls were punished differently.

I would want to know how the school plan to deal with this going forward though, as the girls clearly don’t get on.

I think excluding a child from playtime is a good enough punishment for a primary school kids.. Or as suggested write an appology letter. I see nothing wrong with such detentions.

Thank you cottonwoolmouth . I was interested in finding out what the OP felt was an appropriate punishment, but now I have found out she actually called the NSPCC about this I don't really care .

OP you called the nspcc over this. Wow.

You need to calm down and stop wasting people who are dealing with actual child abuse.

I hope the OP has at least made a donation to the NSPCC to make up for so massively wasting their time.

Dermymc, yes i called NSPCC over this horrific punishment that education institutions, called school, applies to little children ( 4 -11 yrs old ones). Why is that a waste of their time? Asube is not just a physical beating you know! School doesnt want to accept its wrongdoing and the fact that NSPCC do think this method is inappropriate says it all!

Facing a wall is a horrific punishment now.... I've heard it all!

Wait until your child gets to an isolation booth in secondary, will you be phoning the nspcc then too?

NSPCC more than likely covering their backs with such a wishy washy response. If they thought it was actual abuse, they would do something about it, rather than just refer back to you.

You’re not going to like secondary school OP.

Dermymc, if i think that punishment is humiliating and violation of human right - yes, and not only them. I think we just differ. Some people think beating children is ok too... Btw, someone asked if i made a donation amd waste of time... conversation took 7 min and I was charged £12. Hope it puts your mind in rest.

I'm failing to see much of an issue. Children sit on the floor all the time in assembly, carpet time etc. I'd imagine they face the wall so they're bored and encouraged to think about what they've done and how they feel. They sit in the admin corridor because there's always someone nearby to supervise. Boredom is the ultimate consequence for most children and is more likely to result in genuine reflection and remorse than giving them jobs to do.

They are above the age of criminal responsibility, so the school need to up their game in terms of consequences if the kids haven't learned to use their words rather than their hands by this stage. Missing playtime can be used for far less serious offences than physical affray- there does need to be consequences above that.

Although, you could ask why the other child received a lesser consequence. There may be aggravating factors your DD has not informed you of.

MsRabbitRocks , i dont know about NSPCC response but what i do know is how that made my DD feel and i just see no difference in what other girl did to mine ( pushing her against the fence) and schools detention - they both made her feel the same way. Surely thats not right.

which resulted in some pushing ( my DD was pushed against the fence) and scratches from my DD towards the other, not a nasty one. No marks or anything like that, I was told my DD scratched the other girl by accident,

Doesn’t sound like an accident. Sounds like two girls fighting. You wouldn’t know how the other girl was punished as you shouldn’t be privy to that. What you do know is that your DD physically hurt another. She should be feeling bad about that.

No. I don’t think the school has breached your DD’s human rights.

Your daughter scratched the other girl. The other girl pushed your daughter. Your daughter was not injured. The other girl was. It was not serious but she was injured. If this was adults and the police took them both to court (unlikely but bear with me), your daughter would have received a higher sentence. In the same way, I see nothing wrong with your daughter receiving a stronger punishment than the other girl.

This punishment is not horrific. It is not a violation of human rights.

You won't get anywhere with this. The only effective action you could take would be to move your daughter to another school. But you probably won't like it when she gets punished there either.

Sitting facing a wall is not a violation of her human rights for goodness sake. It just isn't. Where is the human right to not sit facing a wall... There isn't one.

You are wasting everyone's time here. Sort out your child's behaviour and back the school with consequences. I bet the school cannot wait for your dd to leave.