son left with trousers on wrong way and unfastened all day

[Joyx2boys]

Hi I received a letter from my child's school which said he would be starting a outdoors activities block with the dates for commencement, ans stated "to help your child successfully participate in sessions can you send them to school with the following items on each of these dates" a list of outdoor clothing followed. there was no time mentioned or if he needed a change of clothing. I dressed him in warm clothes with wellies & put his school clothes in his school bag in case he needed them and took him to school. at 3pm I went to collect him, he came out wearing his school clothes which were filthy and his trousers were on backwards! his head was hung low and he said look and turned around to show me that his trousers were not fastened and his underwear was clearly visible, he said the outdoor learning was after lunch so they told him to get changed when he arrived. he'd put his trousers on the wrong way, but instead of his teacher telling him to go sort them she left him to sit in class all morning like that, and he went to lunch and play like that as well. after lunch when the class was told to change into there outdoor clothing another teacher told him just to put his jacket on and his scarf & gloves, so he spent the entire out door activities trying to stop his trousers falling down. I asked my son how he felt about it and he said he was sad :( I went into school and asked to talk to his teacher who said we assumed you'd know the activities are always in the afternoon, (I don't attend them and have never had a letter saying there in the afternoon) then she said I'm not here to dress your child, she was quite abrupt about this. which made me really angry but I'm not good at confrontation. I phoned and asked the assistant head about it and she said "you spoke to his teacher, i'm not sure what more I can add?". I'm not sure what to do? my child was degraded and he was left at risk of being injured, because he struggled all day to hold his trousers up. he also comes home a lot with his shoes on the wrong feet, i'd spoke to his teacher about that last yr and she say's we like them to have independence. I will not leave it like this but not sure what to do about it? they are still being independent if the teacher say's you have your shoes/trousers on the wrong way swap/turn them around, children's feet are growing having shoes on the wrong feet for long periods of time is surely damaging?

How old is he?

I agree that children should be dressing themselves however I would expect them to be told if their trousers are on inside out.

He really should be able to put his trousers on himself
The teacher is right, she isn't there to dress your child

Oh well you can hate me.
You're not teaching him resilience if you make out to him that you're sad about this.
It was a day that went a bit wrong, but if he keeps trying, he'll learn how to get all these things right.
Still fine to mention to teacher that these things went wrong & you'd appreciate them helping him get them all right in future.

I can't accept any permanent harm done, though. Only if you make out that it was worse than 6 awkward hours of his life that will soon be forgotten.

How old is he?

The teacher is right, shes not there to dress your child. Surely your child knew his trousers were on back to front and could have just asked for a minute to correct it. Youre the parent, you need to work on his dressing skills at home.

Don't make this a big thing. Just focus on how he can sort himself out better next time.

How does he manage changing for PE at the moment?

Whilst DS was in reception I got school trousers that didn't need doing up, that could just be pulled up and down to make it easier. Would that help?

My 4yr old comes out of school with his trousers on backwards on PE days 😃

We're working on doing it properly but it's not really the teachers job to dress 30 kids

It’s your job to spend time with him so he can dress himself properly, not the teachers.

Why didn't he take the trousers off on the lookout and put them on the right way round?

If a school letter says bring outdoor clothes it means bring them not arrive wearing them.

The teacher doesn't have time to dress 30 kids.

The mistake here is yours. You need to teach your child how to dress himself even if it's just an elasticated waist.
Most of the foundation class came home with the wrong clothes back to front, etc the first few pe lessons.

I would use this as a tool to encourage ds to get his trousers in properly.
My dd could dress herself in nursery which had the same school uniform she in now in year 1, agree with pp perhaps invest in trousers with no fasteners on them so he can just pull them up.
If the teacher stops to dress each dc do you think there’d be any time left for them to play outdoors?
It’s not her job to dress a dc. It’s your job to teach him these skills. Perhaps he needs some more practise with you? Don’t blame the teacher, especially not in front of him, she’s someone he should be able to trust not.

How old is your son? Does he have organisational or any other additional needs?
Working in a school, I have only ever help a pupil with dressing themselves when in Year 1 (and younger), never any older unless there have been significant additional needs. I have never actively 'dressed' a pupil in my care - even the youngest of children who wear tights on a PE day have had a go at putting these on themselves!

My niece could dress herself at 3 years old. Does he have development problems?

Did struggling all day to keep his trousers up not prompt him to think they may be on wrong? Did none of his friends point out they could see his underwear? Bit of a none issue really. The teacher has enough to do and your child needs to learn to do basic things like this himself.

Why are you blaming the teacher instead of addressing the issue yourself?

Children need to be taught to get dressed, ideally before school.

My ds's need to wear a tie, so I taught them, pre them starting school.

I think you are making big deal out of nothing. If he was conscious enough to feel embarrassed, he could have get himself sorted during breaks/lunch time. Why didn't he?
If he only became conscious after you pointed out, then he wasn't really suffered anything.
Many children dress themselves wrong sometimes. If you don't make a big deal out of it, he will forge about it soon enough.

I think you’re being very over dramatic about this. My 5yo frequently has his trousers on back to front after PE and we couldn’t care less. Perhaps try trousers with elastic waistbands that he can pull up easily?

When you/whoever dropped him off, did you not notice the other children wearing uniform?

Outdoor learning sounds fab btw. I bet he had a great time, trousers on backwards or not.

Agree - get this back into proportion.

And (tactfully) give your DS some more ‘how to get dressed accutately’ practice.

The best thing to have said to your DS would have been ‘Oh no! But it doesn’t matter now. Perhaps next time you realise something’s wrong, you can fix it yourself at lunctime’

If be knew they where on backwards why didn’t he change them himself?

What risk of injury was there?

And unless he letter said “please arrive at school in suitable outdoors clothes” why would you assume it was a case of anything other than sending them in as requested

You need to equip your child with the ability to dress himself and fix his problems. It is odd that no one noticed and encouraged him to fix the problem.

If you spoke to a teacher about it last year he must at least be in Year 1 and would expect him to know how to dress himself.

If you spoke to his teacher last year about his shoes being on the wrong feet and it’s still happening, have you not shown him how to make sure he knows which is which. Surely he must know when he is uncomfortable, especially if he’s been like this for over a year.

Unless he has some difficulties, I would expect that, after at least a year in school, children should be able to put their clothes on and off, even if they need help with zips and buttons. And if he knew his trousers weren’t on properly, why didn’t he ask for help. Pull on trousers sounds like a good idea for him.

I've never physically helped a child into their trousers. Or tights which is a much trickier task for the child. You just give them enough time to change. Which is a very long time when they first start school!

There are lots of school trousers that are elasticated so there is no need to fasten anything so maybe these would be a better choice for PE days and forest school days.

And it's not up to the school to make sure he knows which shoes go on which feet. I drew tiny faces on the ends of the Velcro fasteners on my DD's shoes as she could never get them on the right feet and told her they were snakes and their faces had to be pointing away from each other or they would fight to the death.